Baby Practice
by UConfuseMe
Summary: Sue Sylvester forces the Glee club to get up on their parenting skills now that she's pregnant giving each of the kids a life like baby doll to take care of for a week. Samcedes. Sam/Mike/Puck friendship. Various Glee friendships.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N : My first Glee fic since Glee has become depressing lately I decided to write a humor/romance fic surrounding my fav couple Samcedes. It takes place after regionals but Rachel and Finn aren't getting married yet (they are still engaged) and Quinn didn't get into the car accident. _

**Summary: Sue Sylvester forces the Glee club to get up on their parenting skills now that she's pregnant giving each of the kids a life like baby to take care of for a week. Samcedes. Sam/Mike/Puck friendship. Various Glee friendships.**

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><p><strong>Baby Practice<strong>

Mercedes Jones arrived at McKinely High early with her friend Tina Cohen-Chang right beside her; the two girls chatting about the movie they went to see last night before entering the busy hallway to get their things from their lockers. It was like any other day except the Glee club was in a cheery mood since their win at regionals plus there was no more drama within the group and everything seemed to be going back to normal...well almost. Mercedes glanced down the hall to see no other than Sam Evans chatting with Mike about something they seemed really interested in. She took the time to admire his smile and laugh, the way his nose scrunched up and how his muscles seemed to flex under that nice fitted shirt...

"You are suppose to be finding yourself, Mercedes, not oogling Sam in the hallway!" Tina's sharp tone snapped Mercedes out of her trance causing the shorter girl to frown. "Don't give me that look! I totally saw you undressing him with your eyes! Friends do not do that to friends and I thought you both agreed to be just friends!" The Asian crossed her arms over her chest and glared at her friend who sighed. "I'm just making sure you're ready before you jump into anything. Call me Tina Chang...the cockblocker!"

Mercedes laughed then shut her locker, "No one is going to be cockblocking anyone because there's nothing to cockblock. We are just friends! I can't glanced over at Sam and Mike without you thinking I'm having some kind of dirty thoughts?"

"You never look at me like that...and I'm your friend."

"You never looked that good in blue!" She joked causing Tina to roll her eyes and place her books in her locker. "Come on, Tina, you know this isn't easy for..."

"Hey, girls!" Mercedes nearly jumped out of her skin as she turned to see Mike and Sam now standing behind her. When did they start making their way over to them? And how did they manage to be so damn quiet? Mike looked amused as he went to give his girlfriend a quick kiss on the cheek while Sam watched Mercedes with an unreadable expression. "Someone is jumpy today!" Mike joked as he wrapped an arm around Tina.

"We went to see a scary movie last night." Tina replied, "Mercedes is still a little spooked I guess." She gave her friend a wink then smirked.

"What movie did you guys see?" Sam asked, his eyes still on Mercedes as she glanced between him and Tina. He held onto the straps of his backpack tightly, his knuckles turning white. She could tell that he was trying to keep this as casual as he could. He's been doing that since she sang that Whitney Houston song to him on Valentine's Day and she really appreciated that he was giving being just friends a shot. Even Shane didn't mind being just friends, they still hung out and talked a lot but with Sam it was different. It was forced.

"Umm...we went to see Happy Feet 2." She shrugged and watched as Mike and Sam gave them both confused looks while Tina tried not to laugh.

"That movie isn't scary...like at all..."

Mercedes rolled her eyes, "I know. Tina was just being a jerk." She shot her friend a look that only caused the Asian to laugh. "You guys just caught me off guard. Make some noise next time, Mike!"

He grinned, "I'm like a ninja, baby!"

Tina snorted, "A ninja who trips down the stairs and falls into bushes..."

"That is not fair because you're parents were entering the house and I had my pants around my ankles..."

"Ok!" Mercedes exclaimed, interrupting the Asian couple before they said way more than her and Sam needed to hear. "I need to get to class and you guys need to not air your dirty deeds to your friends in the hallway. See ya'll in glee club!" She quickly turned to leave, avoiding any looks at Sam before dashing down the hallway. She heard Mike asked "What's up with her?" before she turned down the corner.

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><p>The day was going pretty well until it was time for glee club. Mercedes didn't mind it much since Quinn made sure she was always in between her and Sam or always around period when it came to him being in the same room so it wouldn't be as awkward. The blonde even joined the God Squad to make sure that Mercedes didn't have to be left alone with Sam and their complicated feelings; meeting that Joe Hart kid was a definite plus though.<p>

"Hey there," Quinn grinned as Mercedes took her place next to her. "Aren't you looking lovely today? Tina told me about your little relapse in the hallway..." The blonde watched as her friend's smile faded and turned to glare at Tina who shrugged. "Now what is this I hear about you wanting to have sex with Sam on his locker?"

"_What_?"

"Ok...I may have exaggerated a little..." Tina spoke up before Mercedes could get up and give her a tongue lashing. "But you were totally eye sexing him. And that's not what friends do to..." She stopped when she realized the rest of the glee club was starting to fill up the room.

"This conversation is not over, young lady." Quinn said as she kept her eyes straight ahead. Mercedes glanced from Tina to her and rolled her eyes as Sam entered the room. He fist bumped Mike before taking his spot on Quinn's other side next to Rory. "Good afternoon, Sam." Quinn greeted nicely, receiving a smirk from the blonde boy.

"Mornin', Quinn." He put his backpack down before leaning forward to look down at Mercedes who seemed upset about something, "Hey, Cedes." She sighed and muttered a 'hi' but kept her eyes straight forward causing Sam to frown and sit back. Was she upset with him? He thought he was doing really good at this 'just friends' thing considering he was completely in love with her and the thought of being friends made him wanna curl up into a ball and die.

The rest of the club took their seats as Mr. Schue entered the room looking more pale and stressed than ever. They were about to ask him what was wrong before Sue Sylvester entered the classroom with some of the band members, each of them pushing in baby strollers with blankets covering them. The kids all frowned and whispered amongst each other before Mr. Schue went to the board and wrote 'Parenting'.

"Umm...is this a joke?" Quinn asked as she took in the strollers and word on the board. "Because as a teen mother who gave up her daughter for adoption this is not funny..."

"Calm it, Q." Sue interrupted, taking Schue's spot in the front of the room as a huge grin spread on her face. "As most of you may know...I'm pregnant!" The kids looked at her in shock. "Yeah that's right. I got a baby growin' in me and it's already more successful and better looking than all of you in here!"

Rachel rose her hand then spoke up, "Um what does this have to do with glee club? We just won so I think it is time we focused on what songs we will be performing for Nationals and the solos I will be receiving..."

"Can it, loud one." Sue interrupted before anyone else in the room could. "As I was saying, I'm pregnant and will be bringing a little Sue into this world." Puck made a gagging sound, "Something _wrong_, Noah?" She asked angrily, glaring at the mohawked teen who held a hand over his mouth as he paled.

He shook his head, "No...just picturing you having sex." He muttered before quickly gagging again.

"Anyways, since I will be bringing a child into this world I thought it was time that you guys would know how to take care of one. Because there is no way I'm going to have my child around you irresponsible little roaches without the proper knowledge on how to take care of one..."

"Most of us are seniors." Finn spoke up, a confused look on his face. "By time that baby explodes out of you...or whatever it is they do...we'll be long gone."

Santana rolled her eyes but agreed, "Yeah. He has a point. So who cares if some of us don't know how to take care of a baby? It's not our responsibility to watch your demon seed. Plus I practically raised myself. It's called tough love. I came out fine." She shrugged, ignoring the looks from the others.

"Lord Tubbington raised me." Brittany nodded, "You can get a dog nanny. Like the one in Peter Pan." Santana patted her girlfriend on the back before turning her attention back to Sue who was shooting them an evil glare.

"Point is, guys," Mr. Schue finally spoke up, "Most of you don't have all the credits you need for graduation." The seniors in the class started at that but he raised a hand before they could have an outburst, "Figgins said you guys haven't had any community service time. You need those credits to graduate..."

"Bull!" Puck yelled, rising from his seat. "I was in juvie! For a week! That is totally community service! And let's not forget me getting Artie laid!" He pointed to the boy in the wheelchair who blushed then placed his head in his hands. "So I should have all the credit I need!"

"You did not get Artie laid, you idiot. Britt wanted to bone him so she did." Santana sneered.

"Same difference..."

"My father said community service is for poor people." Sugar said, "I refuse to work with hobos or dirty people."

"Guys!" Schue interrupted, sighing. "Point is you will be getting good credit for this." He glanced over at a smug Sue, "Since Sue convinced Figgins this was a necessity after that disastrous 'sex ed' class Miss Holiday gave you all...you must all take care of a baby for a week."

"Wait," Mercedes arched a brow at him as she sat forward and pointed at the strollers. "There are actual _babies _in there? Oh hell to the no, Mr. Schue, I am not watching some other person's baby for a week! That has got to be illegal or something!"

"Calm down, Aretha, these babies are not real." Sue replied. "I had a good chat with a Mr. Maury Povich and he lended me these realistic...creepy...dolls." She removed a blanket from one of the strollers and held up said doll. The kids all made faces at it; some disgusted and some amused.

"It looks like a baby corpse!" Kurt exclaimed. "Is it suppose to look so real? What ever happened to making kids watch a boiled egg?" He held onto Blaine's hand as his eyes scanned the doll.

"These are breathing lifelike baby dolls." Sue explained, "Since Maury's show turned into a battle of 'you ain't the baby daddy', he has no use for these. He use to give 'em to those little outrageous teens who wanted babies to show them that it ain't all fun and games to be a mom." She placed the doll down and turned to smile at the kids. "And now they're all yours. Take good care or them or you will be dealing with me!"

"Mr. Schue! We should be thinking about Nationals right now!" Rachel exclaimed, "This is ridiculous!"

"If you wanna graduate you have to do this, Rachel. I'm sorry."

"Fine." Kurt sighed, "Hand me a girl with eyes that match mine. Blaine and I always said we would adopt our first after we both make it big on broadway but I guess we could always use the practice right now. But I refuse to be a stay at home mom." He shot his boyfriend a look before looking back at Mr. Schue who shook his head.

"Sorry, Kurt. The parents have been randomly selected. I can't allow you all to just pair up with who you're most comfortable with. It has to be a challenge..." The couples in the class began to complain. "Sorry, guys! Also, one of you will have to be a single parent. But Sue has gotten the chart to see who is paired with whom." The kids groaned at their fate being in the hands of Sue Sylvester.

"Alrighty then! Wheels will be paired with Santana!"

"_What_!" The latina shot up from her seat, "I am not being paired with Artie! I've never even hooked up with him once! And just because he's a football player doesn't mean I want him being the father of my child! I do not want my baby saying 'holla, who dis be?' as its first words!" She glared over at Artie who gave her a shocked look.

"Do you think I want my baby going around screaming it's from Lima Heights Adjacent and it'll jack people up?" He asked back incredulously, "Plus Satan is not gonna be the mother of my baby! Nuh uh...no damn way!"

Brittany smiled at her girlfriend and ex, "I think you guys would have an adorable crippled demon baby!"

"Mohawk and Asian girl!" Sue continued, ignoring Santana's outburst.

"What?" Mike and Tina yelled in unison as they looked over at Puck who was staring at one of the strollers in a daze. "I cannot have him be the father of my baby!" Tina shrieked, "He wanted to name Quinn's baby after an alcoholic beverage! My baby will end up in the dryer! He will give it a stupid mohawk like his!" Puck snapped out of his daze to glare at her.

"Hold it right there, baby momma number two!" Quinn rolled her eyes. "The mohawk is bad ass and you should be lucky to have me as the father of that creepy doll! I have mad parenting skills yo! Beth loves me! And I use to babysit my little sister all the time!" Tina squinted her eyes at him then grabbed Mike's hand in hers. "Now...I think we should get a boy. And we're gonna name him Puckzilla the Second."

"_See_!" Tina yelled, pointing over at Puck in distress as he gave her a look that said 'what did I do?'.

"Sugar and Young Bert Reynolds..."

It was Kurt's turn to have an outburst which Sue knew was coming because these glee kids were overdramatic over _everything_. She wondered if she was ever going to get through the list with at least one of them agreeing. She paused and allowed the young teen to have his turn to complain.

"Blaine and I are going to have a kid together! Not Blaine and..._Sugar_!" He spat her name in disgust causing the girl to shoot him a look. "I refuse to have a my boyfriend raise a baby with someone that is not me! Especially when she will dress it like a fashion deprived Bratz doll hooker!"

Sugar stood from her seat to yell at him, "Are you talking about my taste in clothing? Because I dress way better than you!"

"Oh please! Who dresses you? _Hannah Montana_?"

"Guys!" Mr. Schue interrupted, running a hand through his hair. "Can we please just get through this without any more outbursts? The more we get this over with the more we can focus on Nationals so please just...go along with it." The kids quieted down. "Sue...continue."

"Porcelain and Leprechaun..."

"Great now my kid is going to have a drinking problem." Kurt muttered under his breath but not low enough for Rory to not hear him.

"That is a complete stereotype about the Irish!" He exclaimed, "We are not all drunks!"

"Quinn and the hobbit." Quinn and Rachel glanced at each other and before Rachel could say anything about it; Sue continued, "Other Asian and Brittany. Lady lips and Aretha and Finn to be a lonely old gigantic father by himself." She looked up from the paper and grinned, taking in all the kids looks but the two that looked the most distraught were Sam and Mercedes when they realized that they would be parenting a life like baby doll together. "I take your guys stunned silence as a sign as approval and with that said I will be assigning you the babies too! Some are boys and some are girls and they are anatomically correct so you better hope you don't get peed on."

"You can name them and dress them. They use the bathroom, cry, and vomit so...yeah...treat it like it is really yours." Mr. Schue said. He noticed how pale Sam looked, "Sam...you ok?"

"We...we can't be together...I mean work together." The blonde spoke up immediately, shooting Mercedes a look. "She needs time to think and I need to give her space and we can't do that if we're going to be having a baby together."

Mr. Schue frowned, "I understand there has been a lot of Samcedes angst these past days, Sam..." The couple shot him a look. "What? Isn't that what they call you two? Anyways I understand there's a lot of feelings and history between you two but the way you guys are going about it isn't healthy. Remember that week Miss Pillsbury suggested you two not speak?" They nodded. "That made you guys feel horrible. And I know it did because when you two sung those songs to each other...I saw it in your faces. Just...it's just a week. Two friends watching a really creepy doll. Ok?"

Finn raised his hand, "I'll be Mercedes' partner! I really don't wanna be a single parent. It's not going to be fun..."

"Too bad, pudgy. You get what you get." Santana snapped, crossing her arms angrily. "I cannot believe my girlfriend gets a hot Asian dancer to father her baby and I'm stuck with wheels."

"Watch it, woman!" Artie warned.

Brittany smiled and looked at Mike, "We're gonna name our baby Unicorn Princess Pierce-Chang."

Mike frowned, "No we're not!"

"Would you prefer Panda Princess?"

"Why because I'm Asian? That's racist, Brittany!"

"No...I like Kung Fu Panda! Me and Santana got our lady kisses on to it in the movie theater once..." Santana quickly placed a hand over her girlfriend's mouth and glared at her very interested friends.

"O...k...Come up and get your doll." Mr. Schue said as he turned to grab an envelope off the first stroller. "Here ya go, Finn. You're the proud single father of a baby girl!"

"Seriously?" The tall teen said in distress. "It's a girl? How am I suppose to know how to dress it and wipe its..._lady_ parts!" He whispered the last thing like it was a bad word. "At least with a boy I will know what to do with it!"

Rachel smiled at her boyfriend, "Don't worry, Finn. I will help you. I'm sure you will be a terrific father to our daughter. Now you should name her..."

"Rachel, this is _Finn's_ baby. You and Quinn will have one of your own so you can't tell him how to raise his kid."

"What the hell!" Finn yelled. "My girlfriend can't even help me? This is so unfair! How am I gonna have a baby with no mother!" He walked up and looked down at the creepy life like doll before sighing. "I guess it's kinda cute...I'm gonna name it Little Debbie. After my favorite snack."

Santana snorted and before Rachel could say anything, Quinn put a hand over her mouth.

"The rest of you get up here and claim your new bundle of joy. Oh and name it...something nice." Mr. Schue said, shooting the kids warning looks.

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><p>Mercedes sighed as everyone else got up and made their way to the front of the room to get their dolls. She glanced to her right and realized that her and Sam were the only ones who didn't get up and since Quinn was the only thing separating them; the blonde was now with Rachel examining their 'baby' together, the diva realized she was screwed. She turned to look over at him, ready to say something until she realized his green eyes were staring straight ahead at their stroller as he continued to chant something under his breath.<p>

"Sam?"

He stopped and looked over at her, immediately blushing.

"Were you...were you just saying 'please be a boy' over and over again?" Mercedes asked incredulously as the blonde ducked his head in embarrassment at being caught. She tried not to smile at his adorableness. "You want us to have a boy? Err...a boy doll thingy?"

He shrugged, "I always wanted our first born to be a boy."

"Our?"

"I mean my!" He said quickly before getting up from his seat, wiping his hands on his jeans. Mercedes could tell he was nervous, he always did that when he was nervous. "Um, let's go see it shall we?" She nodded and he extended his hand to her which she took. They both walked together to the stroller and glanced over at their friends who already had theirs. Some of them were actually happy and cooing over the dolls, some were arguing about what to name it while others were fighting over who gets custody first.

Sam glanced at Mercedes before releasing her hand to step forward and take the blanket off the stroller to reveal the doll to them. Kurt was right when he said they were creepy and looked like baby corpses. They were so life like it was almost scary and they even _breathed_. What kind of doll did that? Their baby was tan with brown curly hair. Mercedes rolled her eyes guessing Sue and Mr. Schue wanted it to look like its parents. She looked over at the others to see their babies also looked like a mixture of both of them too. This was going to be a tough week.

"Looks like we got a boy!" Sam exclaimed as he peeked down the things diaper. He tried to suppress a smile but failed.

"You got what you wanted. What should we name him?"

"Peter Parker."

Mercedes shot him a look before placing a hand on her hip, "Samuel Evans, we are not naming our baby after a comic book character!" He began laughing and she rolled her eyes. "I am going to kick your butt, boy! Be serious." She grinned as he began to think a moment.

"How about Sam Jr?"

"How original." She deadpanned.

"Well he's your son too! What would you name our kid?"

Mercedes bit her bottom lip and thought about it. She would be lying if she said she didn't think about having kids with Sam when they were together and what they would name them. "How about...Jacob?" She liked that name because it was like Jake and Jack. Jake, being something Sam liked because of Jake Sully from Avatar and Jack being something Mercedes like because Jack Dawson from Titanic.

Sam smirked, "Jacob Evans? Nice."

Before Mercedes could agree they heard a loud scream and quickly turned to see Santana throwing the doll to Artie before backing away in fear. "That thing just opened its eyes! It's possessed! Keep that Chucky doll away from me!" She then began to go off in Spanish while Artie held their doll lovingly.

"Woman! Keep your voice down! You're scaring Jackson!" Artie exclaimed.

"Jackson? Did you really name your baby Jackson because of Michael Jackson?" Blaine asked and Artie nodded happily. "Well me and Sugar have a girl. She wants to name it Queen." He shot his partner a look. "That's just begging for her to get picked on in school."

"With a name like Queen all the other kids will know who not to mess with." Sugar replied with a toss of her hair. "But first things first we go shopping because these clothes are not suitable for our daughter."

Blaine nodded, "Finally something we agree on."

"We have little Cher here." Kurt said as he held his doll and showed his boyfriend with a proud grin. Rory stood back and watched as his partner hogged the doll up, not even letting him help in naming it. "With my talent and good looks, she will make it big in showbiz."

"Can I hold her?" Rory asked.

"No."

Mercedes tried not to laugh at her best friend's snottiness. She noticed even Quinn and Rachel were getting along well with theirs and already had a schedule planned on who gets it and when. The only one having trouble was Tina and Puck. She could see how frustrated her friend was when Puck started talking about dressing their baby as a biker. He wanted to name it Harley Davidson.

"I'm glad you guys are enjoying this." Mr. Schue exclaimed, relieved that no one was no longer complaining and they looked excited. "Hopefully this week goes by fast. Till then we still have glee so this weeks assignment is to sing a song to your new bundle of joy! Class dismissed."

Mercedes looked over at Sam who was holding the doll and looking down at it with a small smirk on his lips. She knew he was great with kids due to the fact he had Stevie and Stacey. But playing mommy to Sam's daddy while trying to remain just friends was something she was not ready for.


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: I'm glad you guys all love this story! It's actually really fun to write lol. This chapter is just insight on how the glee club sees their 'children' and how difficult it is with being paired with their partner who they don't see eye to eye with! The next chap will have some Samcedes goodness as the glee club starts to actually get rly attached to their dolls! Btw I first noticed these life like babydolls on an episode of Wife Swap. There was a mother who actually treated her dolls like actual babies! There are people out there who do that with these creepy/adorable dolls!_

**Summary: Sue Sylvester forces the Glee club to get up on their parenting skills now that she's pregnant giving each of the kids a life like baby to take care of for a week. Samcedes. Sam/Mike/Puck friendship. Various Glee friendships.**

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><p>Mercedes told Sam she'd meet him by his locker after school so they can go over a schedule of when each of them get Jacob. Despite the awkwardness of the situation he was in, Sam was really happy to have Mercedes be his partner and the fake mommy to that plastic life like doll. They both knew each other so well and were really great with kids so he didn't have to worry about failing this assignment. Also this gave him an excuse to hang out with her more at her place or her at Kurt and Finn's house. He kept reminding himself that they were still just friends and he didn't want to pressure her like he did the first weeks of his return.<p>

Sam walked down the almost empty hall and spotted Mike right by his locker; the Asian was banging his head lightly against the metal thing causing Sam to wince and place a hand on his friend's shoulder in concern, "Mike, you ok?"

Mike stopped and just rested his forehead against the coolness of the locker, his eyes shut tight. "I just spent twenty minutes arguing with Brittany why Squished Up Monkey Face Pierce-Chang is a bad name for our daughter." He muttered.

Sam made a face, "Yikes."

"Tell me about it!" He turned and leaned against the locker, his eyes staring up at the ceiling. "She has all these ideas for the baby that no sane woman would think! We couldn't even agree on a name! They expect me to be baby daddy to this chick for a week?" He asked incredulously. Yeah, Sam was definitely happy Mercedes was his partner. "But we finally agreed on a name! Joy Pierce-Chang. It's simple and Brittany likes it because it makes her happy because it's a happy word!" He gave Sam a concerned look, "How you holding up? Mercedes as your partner? Ouch!"

Sam smirked, "It's not so bad...I mean sure it plays into my fantasies of us getting married and having a family but since she's not ready to admit I'm that guy yet I can just take this as a little taste of what's to come when it finally does happen." He looked up to see Mike giving him a weird look, "What?"

"You are such a hopeless romantic, dude."

The blonde rolled his eyes as he turned to open his locker when he heard loud yelling causing him and Mike to turn their attention to the couple down the hall.

"Bruce Lee is a great name! I thought you would appreciate it since you're Asian!" Puck yelled as he followed an angry Tina down the hall towards Sam and Mike. He didn't even spare the other guys a glance as Tina stopped by her boyfriend to give him a quick kiss before turning to glare at the mohawked teen. "That is my baby too, Tina! I should have a say in what we name him..."

"You come up with the most ridiculous names!" Tina yelled, stomping her foot as she held onto the carrier with the doll in it. "You haven't even been the father of my child for a whole day and I'm already thinking about getting full custody!" That hit a nerve on the teen. He stared at her with both anger and disbelief in his eyes.

"You wouldn't _dare_!" He seethed.

"Keep calling our kid Dragon Master Puckerman and I will!" Tina exclaimed, stepping back when Puck went and reached for the carrier. "I have named him Johnny Puckerman. It has nothing to do with me being Asian and nothing to do with how 'bad ass' you think you are! It's cute and suitable! Plus it fulfills my love for Johnny Depp." She grinned happily at the image of the actor as Mike shot her a jealous look. "Me and the girls are going shopping. When you stop acting like such an idiot then I will let you see Johnny!" She gave her boyfriend another kiss goodbye and told him she'd call him later before making her way down the hall.

Puck looked after her in shock before turning his anger on Mike, "Don't ever knock that chick up! She never lets me do what I wanna do!" he growled angrily. "And do you see how she practically held my baby back from me? Not cool, dude!"

Sam frowned as him and Mike exchanged looks, "You are taking this assignment way too serious, man."

"Am not!"

"At least she's letting you see your kid when you want to." The trio turned to see a sad faced Rory making his way over to them. "Kurt won't even let me hold the baby...I can't even remember what he named her. He said she may have my eyes but she will have all his talent and great taste in fashion." Sam frowned at the depressed Irish boy, feeling really bad for his friend. "I should fight for custody!"

Puck nodded vigorously at his suggestion, "Dude, you so should! And I'll be your lawyer! Every baby should have a father! Plus with just Kurt taking care of it who knows what glittery, sequin outfits he'll put it in! It could go blind! From flashy shit!" Rory visibly paled at the thought of his baby's eyes exploding from all the shiny outfits Kurt has.

"I really doubt that will happen." Sam said, mainly to calm down his friend who looked like he wanted to pass out. Puck shrugged. "So they're all going shopping for baby clothes?" He asked. Mercedes hasn't told him that. He figured she was still getting all the baby junk from Sue.

"Yeah...it was Sugar's suggestion." Rory replied, "All the girls seem pretty excited...except Santana."

"Makes sense. Santana can barely feel anything for living things. I doubt she will care about this plastic one." Mike said. He glanced down the hall to see a frantic and pale Finn, "Guys, I think Finn is going to piss his pants." They all heard a loud screeching, crying noise as the he finally made his way to them with the baby in the carrier.

"Guys!" He yelled, "This thing will not shut up! I can't find Rachel and Quinn...I think they're still getting the things for their baby but I was using the bathroom then all of a sudden this thing started going off!" He placed the carrier down and quickly picked Little Debbie up by her neck as the thing continued to scream. "Make it stop!"

Sam and Puck quickly shot forward and took the thing from Finn's death grip. Puck cradled it in his arms and patted it on its back while Sam sent the tall teen a death glare. "What the hell, man?" Puck yelled, "You do not pick up a baby like that!"

"Are you trying to kill it?" Sam asked as he checked Little Debbie to see if Finn broke it with his gigantic hands. "You have to be gentle!"

Finn frowned, "Well excuse me! I never had a kid before and I don't have little brothers or sisters so knowing this crap is not number one on my list!" He exclaimed. He was a little embarrassed that Puck of all people was more gentle with a baby than he was. He expected this from Sam, but not Puck. "I don't think I can handle being a single dad!" Little Debbie stopped making noise in Puck's embrace and the older teen smiled as Finn frowned. "How did you do that?"

"Sometimes they just like being picked up." Puck shrugged as he carefully handed Little Debbie back to Finn, teaching him how to hold it. "If you want to ace this you gotta learn to be more gentle, man."

Mike frowned, "And Tina tried to say you are a bad father. You actually really know what you're doing..."

"Thank you!"

Sam glanced down the hall and spotted Mercedes with Rachel, Quinn, and Artie. She looked up and caught his gaze, smiling until she noticed all the guys huddled around his locker. "What's up?" She asked, curiously as she watched Finn awkwardly rock his doll back and forth.

"Aww, Finn!" Rachel exclaimed as she hugged her boyfriend from behind. "You make the perfect father! And everyone was saying you would kill it within the first day of having it! I had faith that your father skills would kick in." Quinn rolled her eyes as she held hers and Rachel's baby. They had a boy and decided to name it Richie...or Richard, as Rachel calls him. "You should come shopping with us!"

Artie nodded, "Yeah...let them pick out your baby's clothes before you have it dressed in paper bags."

Mercedes laughed as Finn stared down at him. "Yeah Finn, join us. Artie, Kurt, and Blaine are coming too. Artie because Santana refuses to have anything to do with Jackson and Blaine because he's afraid of how Sugar will dress Queen."

Sam gave her a look, "They are actually calling their baby _Queen_?" he asked incredulously. Then again he wouldn't put it past Blaine and Sugar to give their kid such an odd name. He was surprised Kurt or Rachel didn't think of it first.

Mercedes nodded, "Yeah...Blaine says the name actually grew on him. I guess it fits." She shrugged.

"Well we should get to the car." Quinn spoke up as she carefully placed Richie in the carrier. "We'll meet you out there, Mercedes. And Finn if you're going to be joining us I suggest you put a blanket over Little Debbie. It's chilly out there."

"You guys really are taking this serious." Finn frowned but did as the blonde said anyways. Everyone began making their way out the school leaving just Sam and Mercedes in the hall by themselves with Jacob.

Mercedes sighed, "Finally alone!" When Sam gave her a shocked look she blushed, "I didn't mean it like that! It's just...the girls are already planning play dates! It wasn't just thirty minutes ago that everyone was complaining about having to do this and now everyone but Santana are signing up their dolls for the next Gerber baby!" She laughed nervously.

"Wait...can we do that? Because we totally have the cutest baby!"

"Sam!"

He smirked, "Then again with competition against Kurt's, Sugar's, and Rachel's babies I don't think ours will stand a chance. I mean, ours is the _cutest_ but with parents like theirs..." He shuddered at the thought.

Mercedes chuckled, "They'd hire a hitman to get rid of our baby because it's the biggest competition. Can you believe Rachel is already writing a song dedicated to her and Quinn's child? It hasn't even been a day yet and people are already losing their minds!"

Sam nodded, "Rory's talking about getting full custody from Kurt while Puck is struggling to have Tina let him see their child...why does this sound like a totally bad soap opera? Or something that should be on Maury?" he asked and grinned as she began laughing.

"I'm starting to think Sue still wants to destroy the Glee club and she's using these dolls to do it! I mean do you see how everyone is getting so attached to them already when we should be focusing on Nationals? Even Rachel Berry seems to not care about that anymore...we've entered the twilight zone!"

"Yeah but if you give Rachel something and say it's hers of course she's gonna take all her time and energy to make sure its better than everyone else's." Sam replied, he shoved his hands in his jean pockets and glanced at the baby carrier before looking back at Mercedes. "Jacob being good?"

Mercedes grinned. "Wanna see something cool?" She asked, leaning down to pick up the doll and cradle it in her arms. Sam nodded. "Make a loud noise." She watched as Sam searched around before deciding to just slam his locker shut causing the thing to start screaming like Finn's was earlier. Mercedes watched as Sam winced. "Don't worry, I know how to make him stop." She looked down at Jacob before sweetly singing hush little baby the only way Mercedes Jones could sing it.

Sam smiled lovingly at her before realizing that Jacob had stopped screeching and quickly quieted. "Wow. It seems he's programmed to be calm to your voice." He watched as she placed him back in the carrier and shrugged carelessly.

"It seems he's also programmed to cry every time Rachel sings or talks about herself." She replied, "I swear when Rachel belts out a note he goes into a frenzy!"

"That's our kid." Sam nodded. He watched as Mercedes suddenly looked uncomfortable and mentally cursed himself for forgetting they were suppose to be keeping this friendly. Well, it was friendly but they both knew his words meant more than what he was actually saying. He cleared his throat, "So about this schedule?"

Before she could reply her phone went off and she looked at the caller i.d. with a roll of her eyes before answering it, "What, Rachel?" She asked, annoyed. Sam heard Rachel's muffled voice on the other end before Mercedes replied, "I'm coming, geez...I said I'm...the mall don't close till...I don't give a damn if your little Richard is getting cranky...it's a _doll_, Rachel! I doubt it cares if the temperature in the car is...I'm _coming_!" She quickly hung up the phone before sighing. "I'm going to kill her and I feel really bad for Quinn having to be her better half."

Sam smirked, "Quinn can handle Rachel. So about that schedule...?"

Mercedes looked at her watch then frowned, "Umm...how about I stop by your guys place after shopping and we can discuss it? If I don't go to the car right now Rachel is going to have a cow. And I refuse to let that heffa lecture me about how her 'baby' waiting in the car is unhealthy." Sam tried to control his excitement of them hanging out after school and just nodded. "Cool, I'll text you later." She picked up the carrier. "Say bye to daddy, Jacob!" She joked before giving Sam a small smile and leaving him by himself to meet up with the others.

Sam finally released the breath he didn't know he was holding and sighed. Ok maybe Mike was right, this was going to be more difficult than he thought.

* * *

><p>Finn stood awkwardly in the middle of the store while everyone else was scattered around looking at the various baby clothes and shoes. He glanced over at his girlfriend who was in a deep conversation with Quinn about why they should only dress their baby in a certain color of blue because it was a Berry family tradition while Quinn argued that since it was winter they should dress the baby in warm colors like brown or orange. He then glanced over at Brittany who stood by Artie as they gushed over the matching outfits they could put theirs in while Santana watched them with an annoyed look. He didn't know what he was doing there and he didn't know why they felt the need to spend money on these things especially since they would only have them for a week!<p>

"Mike told me I'm not allowed to bedazzle her." Brittany frowned, "I bedazzle everything that I have though!"

"I don't think Mr. Schue and Ms. Sylvester will be very happy getting a decorated doll back since they said they cost over a hundred dollars." Artie replied as he picked up a onesie and tossed it in the cart. "Plus you shouldn't bedazzle your child till it can walk."

Santana rolled her eyes. "This is ridiculous. And you guys losing your minds over a toy is just really pathetic!" Brittany shot her girlfriend a small look before shrugging, "Am I the only one that thinks this is all crazy?"

"You just haven't bonded with Jackson yet. It's the first day, give it time." Artie replied as he winked at his partner. "I gotta use the bathroom. Watch him for a minute...and if anything bad happens best believe I will getcho ass for child neglect!" He threatened before wheeling off, leaving Santana alone with the stroller.

The Latina stared down at the thing in fear as her girlfriend went to the other side of the store to check out infant dresses. Biting her bottom lip she tried not to make any loud noise, she already seen the thing have a mental breakdown earlier and she would be damned if it decided to do that in public. She found it odd how the thing had her jet black hair and Artie's bright blue eyes...it was so freaky. Like Mr. Schue and Sue snuck into their rooms at night and took their DNA to make a doll that looked like the both of them. And she wouldn't put it past them; they were both weirdos who would do that. Especially Sue.

And that's when the damn thing decided it wanted to start acting up. Fear struck Santana as she realized that Artie wasn't back from the bathroom. Damn him! She quickly picked it up before people could stop and stare at her like a bad parent. "Shush you little thing!" She whispered harshly as she patted the thing on its back, hoping that would work. But it didn't. "Dammit, if you don't shut up...!" Quinn walked by holding hers like the perfect little mother as she smiled at her, Santana wanted to hit her. "_Help_!"

"It's called showing some motherly love, Santana." Quinn replied matter-of-factly. "I know it may not be real but it's programmed to behave like a real one. And if you just give into it and actually be a good parent then you might actually start to enjoy it." She winked at the raven haired girl before going to join Mercedes.

Santana sighed then gently rubbed its back before singing a small lullaby into its ear in Spanish, surprised when the thing stopped crying and began breathing evenly again. She caught Brittany's gaze across the store and noticed how the blonde gave her a proud and loving look causing Santana to feel something warm in her heart at the image of her girlfriend watching her hold a baby. And that's when Santana realized why everyone else was taking this assignment so serious; each of them wanted this in their future at some point or another. Everyone in the glee club wanted to fall in love, get married, and have kids. There was something about playing house to these dolls that had everyone thinking about their future.

"Did he start crying? Give him here." Artie said as he rolled up to her and extended his arms to take Jackson from her. He watched in shock as Santana shook her head and held onto the baby tighter. "I thought you didn't like the 'dumb doll'." He replied, repeating what she had told him many times earlier.

Santana shrugged as she continued to rub Jackson's back, "I'm his mother ain't I?" She tried to sound snappish but he knew that she was starting to actually start getting the hang of this. He gave her a knowing smirk that caused her to send him a death look before he turned his attention back to picking out clothes for their 'son'.

* * *

><p>Mercedes frowned as she watched Santana actually be a mother to her baby. She thought it would never happen; or it would take the girl at least a couple of days to get use to it. But she guessed she was wrong. And from the looks on Artie's face she could tell he wasn't really happy about Santana's sudden interest in Jackson, "Odd."<p>

Quinn quirked a brow as she examined a onesie that said 'My Mommies Are Awesome'. "What's odd?" She asked curiously.

"Santana actually being a mom!"

The blonde chuckled before looking over at the Latina too. "I guess she took my advice. As much as Santana hates to admit it...she has a motherly bone in her body. She's going to be a great mother one day." She began rocking Richie back and forth, "And I'm actually really enjoying this assignment."

Mercedes gave her an incredulous look, "Really? I thought you of all people wouldn't like this seeing on how you actually did have a baby..."

"Yeah but this is like practice for when I have a baby and actually keep it...you know when I'm ready. And as creepy as these things are I've become attached...he may have Rachel's eyes and hair but that is definitely my old nose." She joked and Mercedes laughed. "How you holding up? Sam as your partner cannot be easy for you two."

The shorter girl shrugged as she remembered how it was somewhat awkward between her and Sam earlier, "It's not like we have to live together and play house. He gets it sometimes and I get it sometimes. Should be as easy...right?" She glanced over to her friend who looked like she wanted to say more but the blonde decided against it and just nodded in agreement.

"Quinn!" The blonde let out an exasperated sigh as her partner rushed over to her with a bag full of baby stuff. "It's been approximately thirty minutes since I last held and sang to our baby! He needs me to sing to him again!"

"You do not need to be singing to him every thirty minutes, Rachel!"

"My fathers use to sing to me every hour so I could become accustomed to their voices! They said without it I could barely function and I need _my_ child to know of how lovely and excellent his mother's voice is!"

"Well he is _my_ child too and I am not so happy about this ridiculous schedule you have him on..."

"Every child needs a schedule so when they get older they can develop a routine. He will learn to be organized that way he will know what he wants in his future and can achieve it in record time!"

Quinn glared at the brunette, "Are you insane? No child should ever be put on a schedule! They are kids...they need time to get dirty...make mistakes!" She stepped back when her partner reached for Richie. "You are _not_ singing to him right now he just fell asleep!"

Mercedes watched the two girls in amusement as they continued to argue back and forth about what was a right way to raise their child. It wasn't until Rachel actually busted out into song in the middle of the store while Quinn stubbornly covered Richie's ears that she decided to interfere, "Oh hell to the no, Rachel! You are not singing right now because my baby hates your voice and if you make him start crying I am going to kick you!" the diva exclaimed as she hurriedly pushed her stroller away to avoid her baby going haywire to Rachel's voice.

She walked over to Finn who stood awkwardly by his baby's stroller as Brittany continued to pick out clothes for Little Debbie for him. The ditzy blonde muttered something about getting his baby extra large because since Finn was the father she was sure it'll have a growth spurt in no time.

There was an older lady admiring his doll as Finn shoot her a confused look, "Aww she is so adorable! Your little sister?" The woman asked as she peered at it.

Finn shot her a stupid look, "No..." He wanted to reply that it was a doll but how do you explain that you had to be the father of a doll for a week to graduate high school? That would make him look like a creeper. Especially since we was nearly a man now. "It...she's mine." He decided to go along with the woman actually believing it was real.

"But you're so young! Where's the mother?"

"Dead!" The teen blurted out causing the woman to look at him in shock, "She died...in war..."

"What war?"

"Umm..." He noticed Mercedes shoot him the most stupid look. "She...umm...I don't like to talk about it..." He mumbled before ducking his head in embarrassment. The woman shot him one last look before slowly walking away. "Not one word, Mercedes..."

The diva laughed before patting him on the back, "I'm sure everyone in this store thinks we're all teen parents from a bad episode of teen mom."

Brittany approached them with little plaid outfits, holding them up to Finn. "I want to dress your baby as a lumberjack because I'm pretty sure that is what she will grow up to be. Or a basketball player!" the blonde exclaimed. Finn groaned and placed his head in his hands.

"Not so fun being a single parent, huh?" Mercedes asked as Finn shook his head. "I'm sure Kurt won't mind helping you out. I mean he has no choice since you guys do live together." That's when she realized that the two boys will have to have two dolls in the house plus with Sam having to have Jacob from time to time...that was a disaster waiting to happen.

* * *

><p>"No, Rory! You do not need to have Cher tomorrow!" Kurt exclaimed into his cell phone as he tapped his foot angrily. "Because I do not need my baby alone with an irresponsible Irish boy!...I do not care if she's yours too...I said no!" The young teen narrowed his eyes as he continued to listen to his partner complain. "You need to control that anger before you even think about seeing our baby! Bye, Rory!" He hung up his phone as his boyfriend shot him a worried look. "Baby daddy drama." Kurt explained, rubbing his temples. "I should've been a single parent."<p>

Blaine rubbed his back lovingly, "You need to let Rory take care of Cher too, babe."

"But she's _mine_." Kurt pouted, crossing his arms stubbornly.

Blaine was about to reply until he realized he left his own kid alone with Sugar. He didn't know what it was about that girl but every time she tried to hold and/or talk to the thing it went into a frenzy. It'll shout and scream, sometimes even throw up! That doll just did not like Sugar. "I gotta check on my child!" He exclaimed before hurrying off to find Sugar.

Mercedes approached her best friend, fishing out her phone from her purse when she received a text from Sam asking when she would be over. "Hey, Kurt, is it cool if I get a ride with you? I need to stop by your place so me and Sam can go over when each of us get Jacob." She quickly text Sam back before looking up to her friend.

"Sure, diva!" He exclaimed, "We should totally have a play date too. Cher and Jacob will be a power couple." He winked at her causing her to laugh.

"For a minute I thought you were gonna make yours and Rachel's kids be the 'power couple'."

He shrugged, "I thought about it. But Rachel claims she wants her kid to be single till he successfully becomes a fashion designer and opens his own theater and there is no way my baby is waiting that long for some man!" He snapped his fingers.

Mercedes rolled her eyes as her phone began ringing. "Hey Sam!" she said, answering it as her and Kurt made their way to the cashier to pay for the things. She began placing her stuff on the counter as Tina joined her with stuff of her own for Johnny.

"Hey...umm Puck is over here and he wants you to bring Tina with you when you come..."

"Why?"

She pictured the blonde shrugging, "I don't know...he's acting crazy right now and he said she ain't answering his calls and that he should be allowed to have Johnny too. He seems really upset about this."

Mercedes frowned, "Tina said he tried to to put a carseat on the back of his motorcycle...she wasn't really happy about that..." At the mention of her name, the Asian shot her friend a questioning look.

"He's trying, Cedes...can you just bring Tina over? When he gets like this he eats everything and he found my secret Dorito stash." She could hear the pout in Sam's voice and grinned. "And he's making songs about how his baby momma is an evil Asian succubus from Hell..."

Mercedes snorted, trying not to laugh, "Ok, Sam, I will bring her with me. We should be over soon we're just now getting to the cashier."

"Cool. See ya later!"

The diva placed her phone back in her purse before glancing over to Tina who shot her a look of confusion, "What?"

"You are coming with me to Kurt's house before Puck has a mental breakdown!"

* * *

><p>Sam was lounging in the living room with Burt when heard a loud knock at the door. He glanced at the clock before looking over to Burt on the other couch who shrugged at him in return. It couldn't be Mercedes and them...he got up anyways and made his way to the front door before opening it to reveal Rory. "Uhh...hey..." Sam greeted him, surprised to see his friend.<p>

"Where is Kurt?" The Irish boy asked angrily before making his way into the home, looking around. "I need to talk to him!"

Burt Hummel quirked a brow at the young boy, "He's at the mall...what's up?" The man asked as he realized Rory did not look happy with his son. "Did he do something to you?"

"I demand to see our child!" He blurted out, causing the older man to look at him in shock. "If he thinks I'm just going to sit back and let him get all the time! This is not fair! Mr. Schue said we have to share and he's not sharing!"

Sam quickly spoke up because it looked like Burt was going to have another heart attack, "We were assigned dolls today in glee club. It's kinda like a life skills thing...we need the extra credits in able to graduate." He explained, relaxing when Burt calmed down. "Rory and Kurt were assigned a girl to watch for a week and Kurt seems to think Rory isn't suitable to be his baby's daddy."

"I will be a great father! I use to walk my brother Seamus every day! Kurt isn't even giving me a chance!" Rory complained before collapsing onto the couch with a pout. "He's being unreasonable!"

"It's just a doll..." Burt replied but shut his mouth when both boys shot him a look. He held up his hands in surrender, "I'll talk to Kurt then...ok?"

As if on cue the front door opened and Kurt, Mercedes, Finn and Tina entered the house with their babies and a handful of bags. Kurt stopped when he spotted his partner in his living room and rolled his eyes, "What are you doing here?" He asked, placing a hand on his hip as he put his carrier down.

"I came to see Crystal!"

"Her name is _Cher_!"

Burt quickly stood before an argument could break out between the two. "I never thought I would have to say this to my teenage son but...Kurt, you have to let the father of your baby see it." He said as he shot his son a stern look. "It takes two to tangle and you of all people know how hard it is to be raised without two parents!"

Kurt sighed, "Fine!" The Irish boy perked up. "But we need to go over some rules and regulations! Let me put my bags away and we can come up with a schedule..." Before he could finish, Puck was storming down the stairs, pushing past him and walking towards an annoyed Tina.

"_You_!"

"What do you want, Puck?" She asked angrily. "If I let you have this baby we will fail this assignment for sure because it will be off in a ditch somewhere!"

Puck eyes widened in anger, "I would never put my kid in that kind of danger! You are being crazy, baby momma number two! And if you think that I'm going to let you raise him alone...!"

"What is wrong with you kids today? What did they put in your water?" Burt asked in confusion as all the teens began arguing with each other. He glanced over to his other son and watched as he held a small infant in his arms, "Whose baby is that?"

Finn frowned, "I'm a single father." He replied sadly.

Burt gaped at him, "Wait..._that's_ the doll? That thing looks real! It's moving!" He walked forward and timidly poked it's soft body and realized that the thing was also breathing. "Ok...I need to sit down because I feel like I'm about to pass out. Wait till your mother gets home and sees this."

"Ok..." Mercedes finally spoke up causing Sam to look away from the arguing couples and turn his attention to her. "I am now really glad that you are my partner. At first I thought it would suck because we have this tension but seeing on how everyone else is with theirs...I am happy to have you be the father to our baby, Sam."

That caused the blonde to grin widely. "Ditto." He looked over as everyone seemed to get angrier as Burt stared awkwardly at Finn's doll while Finn tried to explain how his girlfriend was now the mother to her own baby with his ex girlfriend. Burt didn't seem interested in that, he looked more concerned on how that doll could look so real. "Ok...let's take this to my room. I don't think this is a suitable environment for Jacob." Sam joked as he glanced at Mercedes who nodded in agreement.

The couple gathered their things and began to walk upstairs. The last thing they heard was Puck threatening to take Tina to court unless she agreed to let him have Johnny so he could get him a matching leather jacket,

"You are not dressing my son like a criminal!"

"You expect me to let you dress him like a gothic _vampire_?" Puck shouted, "My son will not be emo!"

Mercedes stopped and frowned at them as Sam grabbed her hand and they quickly made their way away from everyone else.

* * *

><p><em>Next chapter will be Samcedes, Brittany and Mike moments, and Mike, Puck and Sam have to watch their babies by themselves...uh oh! R&amp;R : )<em>


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary: Sue Sylvester forces the Glee club to get up on their parenting skills now that she's pregnant giving each of the kids a life like baby to take care of for a week. Samcedes. Sam/Mike/Puck friendship. Various Glee friendships.**

* * *

><p>Sam quickly pulled Mercedes into his room; stopping abruptly when he saw the mess that was scattered across his floor and bed. It's been forever since he's had company since staying at the Hummel-Hudson household, and when someone did come and see him it was either Puck or Mike. He hasn't had a girl over at all and the thought of cleaning up his room just in case he ever did never crossed his mind. He felt Mercedes run into his back at his sudden stopping, causing her to stumble back from him and nearly drop the baby carrier.<p>

"Oh my god! Are you ok?" He quickly turned to look at her as she held her face in pain. "Are you bleeding? Let me see!" He reached out for her but stopped when she shook her head and waved him off, "I'm so sorry I just realized my room looks hit right now..."

Mercedes smiled, "You were always messy, Sam." She replied before rubbing her nose one last time. Her brown eyes looked past him to the clothes scattered all over his bed and floor while his desk was covered in comic books and paint brushes. "But I don't think is a suitable room to have a baby in." She joked as his eyes widened in panic, "I'm just playing, Sam!" She walked forward and placed the carrier on his bed before turning to look at him again.

The blonde quickly went forward and began picking up random clothing off his floor and bed before tossing it into a pile on the side of the room. He spotted Mercedes timidly sitting on the edge of his bed out the corner of his eye; the diva had her hands on her lap as she bit her bottom lip and looked at everything in the room but him. He tried not to roll his green eyes as he continued to clean up a little. He hated how she seemed to not want to be alone with him anymore. After becoming 'just friends', they never were alone. If it weren't Quinn between them during classes it was Tina, Santana...Hell, Mercedes even made sure Rachel was around if there was no one else. _Shane_ got to be alone with her when he wanted! Sam pushed that jealous thought away because he did still feel kinda bad for the other guy since technically it was his fault that Shane and Mercedes were now friends.

"I realized something." Sam stopped cleaning to look over at Mercedes who was now uncovering Jacob to peer at him curiously, "Jacob hasn't opened his eyes." She looked over at her partner who looked confused. "Almost everyone else's has opened their eyes one time or another. Ours breathes and moves sometimes like theirs but he hasn't opened his eyes. Even Santana's opens his eyes from time to time. Why is that?"

Sam frowned and looked past her at their doll, "Maybe after hearing how crazy our friends are he refuses to open his eyes and look at the people who brought him into this crazy world." He shrugged, "Maybe he's mad at us and refuses to give us the satisfaction of seeing his eyes until we find him a safe house away from the glee club and their babies."

Mercedes stared at him for awhile before bursting into laughter, "Sam, you have the weirdest theories! I think it's time you step away from the comic books!" He shot her an offended look causing her to clear her throat, "Ok so I was thinking I'd get him tonight and then..." Before she could finish, Jacob began crying causing her to curse under her breath and reach for him. She cradled him in her arms and tried singing him a little song but it wasn't working this time. Frowning, Mercedes glanced over at Sam who stared at her expectantly. "It's not working."

He chuckled and approached her finally, reaching out his arms as she handed Jacob to him. "As beautiful and terrific your voice is, Cedes, I doubt it would work all the time." She frowned deeper, not liking the sound of that. "Maybe he's hungry..."

She shook her head, "Fed him in the car."

"Well then maybe _I_ should try singing to him..." He bit his lip as he thought of a song before looking down at Jacob, "_Baby, baby, baby ooh...baby, baby, baby noo..._" Mercedes rose to her feet immediately as Jacob began to actually scream and cry louder at Sam's choice in song. The blonde blinked, "Ok...our son is _not_ a Justin Beiber fan..."

"I should kick you for ever thinking he was!" Mercedes exclaimed as she glared at him, "Really, Sam? Of all songs to sing you picked that? Give him here...let me try again..."

"No!" Sam replied stubbornly as he stepped back from her. "I'm the father I can do this. You had him most of the day so let me at least help out while you have him here." She held up her hands in surrender and let him have his time with Jacob. "Thank you." He smirked, "Ok maybe like a bed time song..." He thought about all the songs he use to sing to Stevie and Stacey. They fell asleep to just about anything but one song in particular popped into his mind and without thinking he began singing it, "_Imma put you to bed, to bed, to bed! Imma put you to bed..._"

"Samuel Evans!" Mercedes interrupted before he could continue. The look she gave him was a cross between amusement and anger, "_Bed _by J Holiday? Seriously? You do know what that song is about right?"

"Yes...I'm not stupid." He muttered but blushed anyways and ducked his head to avoid her gaze.

"Then you know singing that to a baby is completely inappropriate!"

He was about to defend himself when a thought hit him, "Wait...you said you fed him already right?" She nodded, confused at the sudden change in subject. "Mr. Schue did say that they do use the bathroom too so..." He trailed off as her eyes widened in realization and she stepped back in fear. "What's wrong?"

She sighed, "I...I've never...I don't know how to change a diaper." She admitted. "And I really don't wanna start learning now! I try to avoid stuff like that when it comes to kids."

"Should've thought about that before you went and got yourself knocked up!" Sam replied but grinned when Mercedes shot him a death glare. "Ok, ok I'll show you how to do it. It's not that hard and since it's a doll I really doubt it'll be that messy. Plus we're not even sure if that's it causing him to cry..." He stuck his hand on the bottom of the diaper and felt it soaked, "Yep...that's the reason!" He went towards the bed, noticing when Mercedes practically cowered behind him at the thought of changing a diaper. He tried not to laugh because he knew it would make her more mad but now she was realizing there was more to being a parent than cooing over how cute your kid was.

Mercedes glanced over his shoulder as he placed Jacob on the bed and began to take off his onesie so that he was only in a diaper. Sam then grabbed the bag next to him and pulled out wipes and a clean diaper before setting them on the bed and turning to look at her expectantly, "Can't you just do it and I'll watch and learn?" She asked hopefully but the look in his green eyes told her she wasn't getting off that easy. "Fine." She sighed before going to stand infront of Jacob as he continued to cry. "If I do this then he better stop crying because there is no way I am doing this for nothing."

"Undo the diaper he has on now," Sam instructed as he stood behind her and watched as she reluctantly did what he told her. "Good, now open it up... _Crap_!" He didn't know what was happening but he quickly dodged the liquid that was now squirting out of their baby's lower body. Luckily for him he made it out of the range of fire but unluckily for Mercedes, she didn't. He watched as Mercedes stood there in shock with the liquid dripping down her face and hair; he quickly slapped a hand over his mouth when he felt laughter building in his chest. He's only seen one person get peed on by a baby and that was his father when he was changing Stacey for the first time when she was a baby. It was hilarious to him then and it was hilarious to him now but if he laughed he knew Mercedes would murder him.

"It got in my _mouth_!" She exclaimed as she made a bitter face. "Oh my god...!" Sticking out her tongue she quickly used her hand to wipe it, hoping that would get the disgusting taste out. She didn't even seem to care that it was in her hair causing it to frizz a little. "Sam! It got in my mouth!" She turned to give the blonde an incredulous look and saw that he was having a horrible time at holding in his laughter. "This is _not_ funny! He just peed on me!"

"I'm..._ohmygod_...I'm so...I'm so sorry!" He replied in between laughs as he tried to breathe. Sam fell onto his bed and held his stomach in pain as he looked up at a displeased Mercedes. "You just got Christianed by our son!" He pointed at her and let out another fit of laughter as she looked down at Jacob who was no longer crying.

"I'm glad you find this funny!"

"I don't!" But the redness on his face and tears in his eyes gave him away. "Ok...it's a _little_ funny..."

She grabbed the wipes and clean diaper and tossed it at him, "You finish changing him!" He sobered up and shot her a look, "I'm serious! I need to get some mouth wash and get this taste outta my mouth!"

"Finish it...you're almost done..."

"No!"

"You're gonna learn how to change a diaper, Mercedes." He replied sternly and she knew he meant business because he actually said her full name. "When you have him you just gonna leave him with a dirty diaper till I show up?" He asked, shaking his head. "That'll give him a rash."

She was about to argue with him but decided against it. She muttered, "Fine" before returning her attention back to Jacob as Sam told her what to do. She finished quickly and that's when they both heard a crash and yelling coming from downstairs. Sam glanced at her before getting up from the bed and opening his room door to hear what sounded like Puck and Tina still arguing. "We should probably break it up before Burt has a heart attack." He said and she nodded in agreement before picking up Jacob and following him out the room.

* * *

><p>Puck stepped back as Tina once again went out to grab Johnny from his arms, but he would not let her near him. The Asian glared and balled up her fists as she advanced towards her partner, "Give me my baby!" She yelled but Puck shook his head and side stepped her as she went after him, "Noah Puckerman, I'm going to <em>kill<em> you!"

He narrowed his hazel eyes at her, "Not so fun is it, baby momma number two?" He sneered as he ran into the living room and stood behind the couch, using it to block Tina from getting to him and Johnny. "Having your kid being withheld from you without your consent!"

"I have a good reason for it! Come here!" She moved to run around the couch but he jumped over it effortlessly and wound up on the other side; Johnny safely in one of his arms. Tina sighed and tried to control her anger as she ran a hand through her hair, "Ok...can we talk about this?" she asked, trying to sound sweet but it was borderline murderous.

"Oh _now_ you wanna talk?"

"What's going on?" Mercedes asked as her and Sam finally made it downstairs. She looked in the living room to see Burt in his chair watching the scene in amusement as Rory held Cher and Kurt dug through his old record collection. She was relieved to see that Puck and Tina's antics weren't causing Burt to go crazy but they were instead entertaining him. "We heard the noise from upstairs..."

Kurt got up from his knees and held onto a record before turning to look at Mercedes before sighing, "Puck and Tina still can't seem to come to an agreement when it comes to Johnny." He replied as he walked over to his partner who was happy that he finally got to hold the doll. "They've been screaming at each other forever till Puck decided to finally snatch Johnny from her and they've been playing 'keep away'." He shrugged carelessly. "We've decided to let them work it out since I have much more important matters to deal with..."

Sam quirked a brow as he looked at the record Kurt held, "What's that?" he asked curiously causing the boy to grin and hold it up to Sam happily. It had a picture of the singer Cher and that's when he realized that the Irish boy was in trouble.

"Rory doesn't know who Cher is so I'm busting out all the old songs till he learns the history of the origin of our daughter's name!" Kurt exclaimed as he approached them, frowning when he noticed Mercedes. "Diva, why are you all wet...and what is that _smell_?"

Sam snorted and put a hand over his mouth as Mercedes scowled at him. "I got peed on!" She stated trying to sound casual but Sam heard the anger in her voice. He bit his bottom lip and crossed his arms in attempt to not smile because he knew she was already close to wanting to hit him.

That caught Burt's attention as he tore his gaze away from Puck and Tina to look at the other couple in the room, "Wait..._what_?" He shot them an incredulous look before glaring over at Sam who looked confused at his sudden anger. "What the hell were you kids doing up there?"

"Huh?" Mercedes was just as confused as Sam until Kurt finally spoke up.

"She meant by the baby, dad." The brunette replied as he looked at his father who looked like he was freaking out. "She got peed on by the _baby_."

Burt sighed in relief, "Oh...thank god!" He sat back in his chair as Mercedes and Sam gaped at him, the both of them finally realizing what he thought she meant. "Because I was about to say that you kids do some really freaky stuff now." Sam blushed once again while Mercedes muttered something about going to the bathroom to clean herself up.

"Do you see that, Johnny?" Puck asked as Tina once again chased him around the couch, the both of them completely forgetting there was other people in the room. "Your mom is an evil Asian succubus from Hell!"

Tina's jaw dropped, "Don't you teach him that!"

Puck looked at her with a dangerous glint in his eyes before smirking, "_Mommy is an evil Asian succubus from Hell!_" he began to sing to Johnny, "_She brings daddy down and loves it when he frowns! She won't let me name you Kung Pow Chicken and calls me stupid for putting you on a Har-ley!_"

"Puck!" Tina seethed.

He ignored her and continued to sing, "_She ignores my calls while at the mall and avoids me like I'm cancer but when she has a man around it's always that damn demon dancer!_" He glared at her and moved back when she went towards him again, "Yeah I'm talking about Mike!"

"You did not just call my boyfriend a demon dancer!"

"Isn't that why you guys got together?" Puck shouted accusingly, "At Asian camp he did his little evil dance of seduction and you guys got together! He's a home wrecker, baby momma number two! And I refuse to have that bad influence around my son!"

Sam placed his head in his hands, shocked that Puck actually began singing the song he wrote about Tina infront of everyone. And was he really accusing Mike of being a bad influence? Like _really_? He knew Puck and Mike were the best of bros but that didn't stop Sam from thinking Puck was being the hugest hypocrite right now.

"You are one to talk!" Tina yelled. "How many relationships have you ruined!"

"Oh that is in the past!"

"Guys!" Sam jumped when he realized that Mercedes was back from the bathroom, glaring at both her friends. "Tina and I have to get going home and I really think you two should go see Ms. Pillsbury for parent counseling or something because it's been one day and I already want to lock you guys up somewhere so I don't have to hear you guys screaming at each other all the time!" Tina and Puck glanced at each other then looked down in shame. "Give Johnny back to Tina and we will see you guys tomorrow!" Puck frowned but did as she said. "Good boy." She sighed and looked over at Sam, "I'll pick you up in the morning."

He grinned at that. That means it would be just them again and he could get the hang of that. As just friends of course but hey he would take what he could get. "Ok."

They all said their goodbyes to each other and Sam watched as the girls and Rory left before turning to see Puck standing behind him with his hands in his jean pockets and his head down, "Don't tell Mike I called him a demon dancer." He said as he frowned, "He's been helping me with my math homework and that's my boy. And I don't want him to beat me up for making up a song about his girlfriend..."

Sam nodded and patted his friend on the back, "My lips are sealed."

"Good because that's a lot of lips..."

"Really, Puck?"

"Sorry, man. You know I love you. No homo."

* * *

><p>Sam awoke the next morning and made his way downstairs to get something to eat before he got ready for school. He frowned when he heard the television on, thinking he'd be the only one getting up this early since he was sure Burt and Carol were already at work and Kurt had to get extra rest for his 'beauty sleep'. He was surprised when he passed the living room and saw <em>Finn<em> of all people on the couch. Finn was never up early!

"Dude, you ok?" The blonde noticed that his friend was in nothing but his boxers as he stared tiredly at the tv with Little Debbie laying on her stomach on top of him, her little head resting on Finn's shoulder. The doll was dressed in a nice little red dress with a red headband that had the biggest flower Sam has ever seen on it. "It's like 6 in the morning and you're...up..." He trailed off as he noticed the various empty chip bags scattered around the couch with empty pop cans. "Have you even gone to bed?"

"Little Debbie would not sleep." Finn replied, his voice sounded tired and scratchy as he stared at the screen in a zombie like trance. "She kept crying and crying...nothing I did made her stop till I put on Sports Center. She likes Sports Center...she finally fell asleep on me."

"Oh." Sam bit his lower lip as he noticed how Finn's voice sounded winded and low, "You sound like Darth Vader!" He hadn't meant to say it out loud but he did and now Finn was shooting him a weird look. "Sorry...couldn't help it."

"You are such a nerd."

"I know." The blonde nodded before running a hand through his hair. "I'm getting a ride with Mercedes today..."

"That's cool. Quinn and Rachel are suppose to be picking me up while Kurt catches a ride with Blaine, Rory, and Sugar." Finn glanced down at Little Debbie, "Are her eyes closed? I don't wanna move and wake her up..."

Sam peeked at the doll and nodded, "Yup." That's when he remembered what Mercedes had said about everyone else's babies eyes opening but theirs. He frowned, "She opens her eyes?"

"Yeah...from time to time. The first time she did it I nearly peed my pants. I thought Santana was right about them being possessed but I got use to it. She has my eyes..." Finn stopped when he realized that his voice was actually softening up over that. He cleared his throat and made his voice sound deeper and manly, "I mean, you know brown eyes are common or whatever..."

"Uh huh." Sam replied with a smirk, "Will I'm about to eat and get ready...you should probably get some rest before school. Coach Beiste ain't gonna be so happy about you not being rested up for practice."

Finn groaned and rub a hand over his face, "I _know_."

* * *

><p>Two hours later, Mercedes was waiting outside the Hudson-Hummel house for Sam with the radio playing lowly so Jacob wouldn't wake up. She was beyond exhausted. Mr. Schue and Ms. Sylvester were not joking when they said these things were like real babies. Mercedes had to get up every three hours to feed it not to mention to take care of it when it cried or used the bathroom...but she was getting the hang of changing diapers and was beyond happy when he didn't pee on her again.<p>

Her mother nearly had a heart attack when she brought Jacob home; like Burt, her mother also thought it was a real baby at first. She even freaked out when Mercedes tried to explain it was hers and _Sam's_ baby and had to physically restrain her mother from leaving the house to strangle 'that white boy' as her mom so nicely put it. But when she realized it was a doll she calmed down but only a little. She wasn't too happy about how real it seemed and how Mercedes actually looked and acted like a real teenage mother. She kept telling her not to get any ideas because if her and Sam brought a real baby home then all Hell would break lose.

"Hey!" Mercedes jumped out of her thoughts as the passenger door opened and Sam sat down, "You look...tired..." He was about to say horrible but he knew for a fact you never tell a girl that no matter how true it may be. He glanced in the back seat to see Jacob safe and sound in the car-seat. "Was he trouble?"

She gave him a tired smile, "I think our son may want to be a singer. The way he was belting out those cries last night...he has great potential."

"Gets it from you." Sam smirked as he winked at her. "But seriously...did you get any sleep?" He looked over her face with a worried expression. "I can drive if you want..."

"I'm fine." She waved him off before starting the car, "I had two cups of coffee that should be kicking in soon. Let's just hope I can make it through school. You're still watching him after school, right?" Sam nodded. "Sorry I didn't tell you yesterday it completely slipped my mind that me, Tina, and Brittany volunteered at my church tonight. So much has been going on..."

"It's cool. Mike text me last night to let me know. He said that Tina actually agreed to let Puck watch the baby while you guys do this so the three of us will be at the Chang's so we can help each other out."

"Oh wow...that cannot end well. You, Puck, and Mike alone with three babies?" She made a face as Sam gave her an offended look. "I'm just saying...you guys have no idea what you're up for! I thought I knew till I got home and Jacob wanted to act a fool!"

Sam smirked, "Maybe he missed his daddy..."

Mercedes rolled her eyes as she began driving off, "He _would_ be a daddy's boy. But I guess it's a good idea for the three of you to watch them together. That way if one of you screws up...you all screw up and it'll be easier to kill you all instead of having to murder only one of the wolf pack."

Sam frowned, "Motherhood has made you girls _evil_!"

* * *

><p>Mr. Schue happily entered the room and watched as all his glee club had their babies. Some of the kids looked beyond exhausted while their partners took the opportunity to hold their dolls...and Finn just looked like a corpse as he fought to keep his eyes open. Mr. Schue frowned, maybe this was a bad idea. He thought the kids would be able to take care of these little dolls for a week but it seemed he underestimated how real the things were.<p>

Mercedes raised her hand, "Mr. Schue, Tina and Puck won't be joining us today. They're in counseling with Ms. Pillsbury today after that huge fight they had at Kurt's place." The diva frowned as she remembered the screaming and yelling. "I think it's for the best because Johnny needs stable parents."

"Ok..." Mr. Schue said before glancing around the room, "How is everyone else holding up?" Some of the kids groaned while others smiled happily. It wasn't until Finn actually fell out his chair that Rachel got up happily and held Richie, "Is Finn gonna be ok...?"

"My fathers have reopened my old nursery at home!" Rachel exclaimed as she completely ignored Mr. Schue's concern over her boyfriend. "They are so excited at this assignment! They said it's a great time for them to practice being grandfathers before they started sagging _everywhere_."

Quinn made a disgusted face but smiled anyways, "And my mom is letting me stay the week at Rachel's that way it'll be easier to do this assignment. It's nice having all the stuff I need down the hall anyways." She shrugged as Rachel nodded and sat back in her seat.

Mike continued to glance at the door and stare at his watch as he tapped his foot impatiently.

"I'm sure Puck and Tina will be back soon..." Sam whispered as he noticed his friend's uncomfortable gestures. "They really need to get this figured out because Tina was so close to ripping off Puck's balls last night."

"Oh I'm not worried about them." Mike replied before looking at the door again, "I haven't seen Brittany all day and she still isn't here..." As if on cue the blonde cheerleader entered the classroom looking downright distraught. She had her arms crossed tightly over her chest as she stared at the floor, tears threatening to drop from her eyes. Mike's face dropped immediately while Santana quickly ran to her girlfriend's side to ask what was wrong.

"I...I lost Joy!" She blurted out before placing her head in her hands to sob.

Mr Schue frowned as Santana began to comfort her, "How did you lose a doll, Brittany?"

"YOU LOST MY DAUGHTER!" Mike shouted as he bolted out of his seat hysterically, "YOU LOST JOY?" His eyes nearly bulged out of his face as crazy scenarios went through his head at all the horrible things that can be happening to the doll at this moment. He felt sick thinking about it.

"Yes and I feel _horrible_!" Brittany cried out as more tears fell from her face. "I am such a horrible mom! I am so sorry, Mike!" The Asian visibly calmed down at her tears, suddenly feeling bad for his anger. "I was getting ready for school so I was getting her things together and I had to make sure I had her ballerina teddy because she loves that and when I come back she was gone!" Her blues eyes widened at the memory of earlier today and she began crying more. "I hate myself...I'm so stupid!"

"You are _not_ stupid, Brittany!" Santana replied angrily as she rubbed her back, "You know I hate when you call yourself that."

"But I am! I lost Joy!"

Mike sighed and ran a hand through his hair before placing it on Brittany's shoulder, causing the blonde to look up at him, "It's going to be ok. She's going to be ok...let's just retrace your steps, ok?" He gave her a small smile, hoping it would make her feel better. She nodded and Santana shot him a thankful look before the two of them walked out the room and Santana returned to her spot next to Artie.

Everything was starting to settle down until Mercedes raised her hand, "Mr. Schue...I have a question..."

"Why is everyone going crazy over these dolls? I wanna know that too. I'm going to have a talk with Sue..."

"No," Mercedes replied, "How come the dolls open their eyes sometimes? I mean I know they do but _why_. I've seen almost everyone else's do it but mine and Sam's..."

Mr. Schue shrugged, "I remember Sue telling me something about when they are most content...most satisfied and happy with their environment they open their eyes. If the doll does it a lot it means its happy..."

Santana frowned, "Ours does it when I hold it..." Artie smirked at her. "Oh c'mon, you're trying to tell me this things is like...attached to me or something? That is so totally weird. Even for this glee club."

"Queen does it when Sugar isn't in the room..." Blaine muttered as his partner glared at him. He shrugged, "It's true! You may never see our child's eyes because she just don't like you."

"So ours isn't happy?" Mercedes asked aloud as her and Sam exchanged glances. "I think we're doing a pretty good job at this! We haven't fought and I even let him pee on me..."

"_Wanky_," Santana grinned as she looked over at the couple, "You and Trouty Mouth are into water sports? Why am I not surprised?"

"The BABY!" Kurt exclaimed before Sam and Mercedes could yell at Santana, "Why am I the only one that understands this? I am happy I have a pure mind because the rest of you guys are just nasty!"

"And on that note...let's get started with glee club." Mr. Schue said before another inappropriate word could be said.

* * *

><p>"We can take my car back to house and look for her there first..." Mike stopped and turned around when he realized Brittany was no longer following him. She leaned against one of the lockers and looked down sadly with the biggest pout, "Brittany...it's gonna be ok...we'll..."<p>

"Do you hate me?" She asked suddenly causing the Asian to frown at her question. "I'd hate me if I was you. I lost our first child...I'm an _idiot_..."

"I don't hate you and you're not an idiot." Mike replied as he made his way back over to her. "Everything is going to be fine. I'm sure Joy is just sleeping somewhere right now and Lord Tubbington is watching her carefully..."

"I hope not. I told him I don't want him near our baby till he kicks his drug habit. He's also been trying to sit on Joy's face..."

"Ok..." Mike replied, not really knowing how to respond to that. This was the first time in a while that him and Brittany really interacted. Him and the blonde became good friends because they both had a love for dancing and were forever making up moves together but since she became Santana's girlfriend and he was dealing with his father and college he barely hung out with her anymore. Despite her ditzy moments he enjoyed her company. "Joy will be fine. I promise."

Brittany looked up at him with sad eyes, "If something bad happens to her then Santana will never want to have kids with me." She watched as his eyes filled with realization as to why she was really upset about this. "People call me stupid and irresponsible all the time. They're always like 'don't ever reproduce' because I would be the worst parent ever." Before Mike could disagree she began crying again, "And I love Santana so much and I wanna marry her and I wanna have her demon babies!" He smiled at that. "But how am I gonna convince her to do that when she sees I can't even do this? She's not gonna trust me and she won't wanna have any babies with me because I'm such an idiot!"

"Santana loves you Brittany." Mike replied softly, "And believe me, as much as she hates to admit it...she wants kids. Artie tells me how she is with Jackson and I know for a fact she won't want anyone else to be her partner in parenthood but _you_." That caused the blonde to smile. "Now let's go find our baby!" She nodded and he took her hand before leading her out towards the parking lot. He just prayed no one caught them skipping because his dad would kill him!

* * *

><p><em>AN: This was longer than I expected so I have to cut it off here lol. Puck, Sam, and Mike are next : )_


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary: Sue Sylvester forces the Glee club to get up on their parenting skills now that she's pregnant giving each of the kids a life like baby to take care of for a week. Samcedes. Sam/Mike/Puck friendship. Various Glee friendships.**

* * *

><p>Miss Pillsbury looked up from her desk to see Noah Puckerman and Tina Cohen-Chang entering her office. Frowning, she put aside the files she was currently going through and placed her hands on her desk, "Hey...why are you guys in here?" She was use to seeing Puck in the office due to the fact he was always in trouble and seeking guidance but Tina was a different story. She thought the Asian girl was doing good in school especially since her and her boyfriend overcame their little problem with his father. "Please...have a seat." They did as she said, both of them sending each other an angry glare.<p>

"We need your help, Miss Pillsbury..." Tina began as she sighed, "You see Puck and I..."

"Oh my god!" The ginger exclaimed as she looked between the two teens. "Are you guys together now?" She asked before getting up to turn to her shelf with the pamphlets on it. "I have been waiting for this day for awhile now! This means Noah has hooked up with all the original glee club girls!" She clapped her hands excitedly before turning to look at the shocked teen, "I've been saving this one especially for you!"

Puck leaned forward and took the pamphlet from her, quirking a brow as he looked down and read it, "'_So you conquered all the girls in your class, time to settle down you man whore_'." He looked up at her angrily, "Hey! I am not a man whore! I just have a lot of love to give and the chicks dig me! I can't help it if they all want the Puckasaurus!"

"We are not messing around with each other!" Tina exclaimed with a look of disgust. "I'm with Mike...I love Mike! I would never mess around with _Puck_!"

"And why not? What's wrong with me?"

"You're just the biggest idiot ever!"

"Don't talk to the father of your baby like that!"

Miss Pillsbury shot them a confused look as they continued to yell at each other. That's when she spotted the baby carrier by Tina's chair and frowned. When did Tina have a baby? When did Tina have a baby with _Puck_? She was the most horrible counselor if she hadn't noticed that the girl was pregnant these past 9 months. "Please tell me that's not your guys baby..."

Puck stopped yelling at Tina to turn his anger towards Miss Pillsbury, "Yes! And she's being the most difficult baby momma I have ever had! And I've only had one before so this puts _her_," He pointed angrily at his partner, "At the top of my list for 'baby momma from Hell'!"

"Miss Pillsbury, I cannot work with this guy! He wanted to name it the most ridiculous things and he wanted to put it on the most dangerous motorcycles! How am I suppose to trust him alone with Johnny? I want to ace this assignment but he is making this difficult for me!"

"Oh so wanting to see the baby is making it 'difficult' for you? I have a baby! I totally know what I'm doing and if you would just give me a chance...!"

"Guys!" Miss Pillsbury held up her hands as the teens quieted and stared at her, "I am beyond confused right now because you told me you're not together and yet you have a baby..."

Tina sighed, "It's a doll. Mr. Schue and Ms. Sylvester gave us these dolls to practice our parenting and it's also points towards our community service or whatever and Puck is my partner...a.k.a the father of my child." she explained, "But all we have been doing is arguing and we need to come to an agreement or this week is going to be Hell for both of us and Johnny."

"Oh." Miss Pillsbury said as she let out a sigh of relief. "Ok well this is more odd than Mercedes and Sam coming in for non-couple counseling..." The two teens shot her look of confusion. "Long story. Anyways I think it's because you two haven't really spent time together that it's like this for you. I mean I know you both are in glee club but have you guys actually ever really hung out and talked?"

They glanced at each other as Puck shrugged, "Not really. I was dealing with my Quinn problems, my Santana problems, then my Mercedes problems...then my Lauren problems. And in between that I was too busy hooking up with the other girls in school." Tina rolled her eyes at him. "But there was _one_ time that I did consider hooking up with Tina..."

"Oh my god, Puck! Can you just once be a friends with a girl without wanting to 'get in her pants'?" The Asian exclaimed as she glared over at him, "See! This is what I mean, Miss Pillsbury! I don't trust Puck because I don't know Puck like that! I know what I've seen and heard and what I've seen and heard is that he is not a trustworthy person! Sure he has a baby already and he can be really sweet sometimes but that's not enough for me to leave him alone with Johnny!"

"You never even gave me a chance!" Puck replied. He looked angry but his voice held a certain sadness that caused Miss Pillsbury to frown. "I _can_ do this. I know I can do this...I'm going to be a great father someday."

Tina bit her bottom lip, suddenly feeling really bad about how she treated him. The look in his hazel eyes were telling her that he wanted to do this; not to ace the assignment, but to show everyone that he's not a screw up like people think he is. Losing Beth was hard for him and he didn't have the chance to be a father to her.

"I think you two just need to trust that the both of you will both take great care of Johnny." Miss Pillsbury said as the two teens became silent. "Tina, you have to believe that Noah is going to be a responsible partner because he is _trying_. He wouldn't be here with you if he wasn't serious." The Asian looked down in shame. "And Noah, you have to show Tina that she can trust you. You two don't know much about each other and I think it's time you did. You guys have been in glee club together for this long and soon you guys will be graduating...do you really want to do that without knowing what great friends you two could have been?"

Puck sighed, "She's right. When I wasn't thinking about how you looked naked I was thinking what a cool person you seemed like." He glanced at Tina, "Plus me and Mike are boys and since I'm pretty sure you guys are going to get married and have Asian babies it's time that we knew more about each other."

She grinned, "I'd like that." Glancing down at Johnny's carrier she sighed, "I know I was iffy about it at first but I'd be honored if you watched him tonight while I helped Mercedes at her church. I know you guys are doing it at Mike's house but I trust that you'll be a great daddy to Johnny." That put a huge smile on his face. "Thanks for the advice, Miss Pillsbury!"

The ginger smiled as the pair got up and began making their way to the door, "No problem! If you ever need anything don't be afraid to come back! I upgrade my pamphlets everyday!" she shouted happily.

* * *

><p>Mr. Schue grinned as Blaine made his way to the front of the room while Sugar sat in the front row with their doll in her arms. The couple said that they had a song they were ready to perform for their baby; well Blaine did...Sugar was going to hold Queen and just sway in the background because Blaine said if she sang then everyone's ears would bleed and he wouldn't be able to get his doll to be silent for hours.<p>

"As a new and proud father of mine and Sugar's baby girl Queen. I want to show my love and happiness by singing '_Crazy Little Thing Called Lov_e' by Queen...as a dedication to our daughter." Blaine announced as he winked over at Sugar who grinned happily.

"I still cannot believe he is the father of Sugar's baby." Kurt said as he glanced over at his boyfriend's partner with jealousy.

"I still can't believe they named their daughter Queen." Sam replied as he shot the couple a weird look. Who names their kid Queen? Like seriously? Mercedes nodded in agreement before they turned their attention back to the front of the room.

"Hit it!" Blaine said as he ignored their comments. The band began playing as he grabbed the mic and began singing to his partner and their baby:

_This thing called love I just can't handle it _  
><em>this thing called love I must get round to it <em>  
><em>I ain't ready <em>  
><em>Crazy little thing called love <em>  
><em>This (This Thing) called love <em>  
><em>(Called Love) <em>  
><em>It cries (Like a baby) <em>  
><em>In a cradle all night <em>  
><em>It swings (Woo Woo) <em>  
><em>It jives (Woo Woo) <em>  
><em>It shakes all over like a jelly fish, <em>  
><em>I kinda like it <em>  
><em>Crazy little thing called love <em>

The glee club clapped along as Blaine danced around and serenaded Sugar and Queen. Sugar moved back and forth to the beat when he walked up to them and pointed to Queen:

_ There goes my baby _  
><em>She knows how to Rock n' roll <em>  
><em>She drives me crazy <em>  
><em>She gives me hot and cold fever <em>  
><em>Then she leaves me in a cool cool sweat <em>

Everyone cheered on his dance moves while Sugar grabbed a bag from beside her seat and dug through it for something. Blaine was too busy dancing around the front of the room to notice that his partner was pulling out a small, furry red coat for Queen. She held it up causing everyone else in the room to stare at the atrocious thing in disgust.

_I gotta be cool relax, get hip _  
><em>Get on my track's <em>  
><em>Take a back seat, hitch-hike <em>  
><em>And take a long ride on my motor bike <em>  
><em>Until I'm ready <em>  
><em>Crazy little thing called love <em>

Blaine turned to sing to her again until he noticed the thing on Queen and stopped dead in his tracks, "What is _that_?" He asked as he took in the furry thing with fear. The band stopped playing when they realized that he was no longer interested in performing his song. "What is that and why is it on my daughter?"

"I had my dad go out and get Queen a fuzzy coat like her mommy had on her party at the Sugar Shack!" Sugar squealed as she gushed at the thing she just put on the doll. "It is sooo cute and very fitting! Now she looks just like me!"

Blaine visibly paled at that, "Did you skin _Elmo_ for that ugly thing?" he asked incredulously. His eyes scanned the red thing as he realized that Kurt was right about Sugar dressing their daughter like a baby prostitute.

She looked offended, "This is not ugly!"

"As a gay man I cannot allow that on my child!" He exclaimed, "It looks like you skinned a Muppet and put it on her and that's really depressing to me because I love Kermit the Frog!" Before Sugar could protest, he shot forward and took Queen in his arms. "Come to, daddy...don't worry I'll make sure you don't have nightmares of everyone from Sesame Street hunting you down for revenge!"

Mr. Schue quickly rose from his seat as everyone else in the glee club exchanged looks. "Ok...that's it for glee today! See you all tomorrow." He made a mental note to talk to Sue about these dolls because his class was becoming a war zone. Arguments on how to raise their babies broke out every five minutes and most of the kids were exhausted from the one night they had to take care of one already. He needed all of them sane and rested for Nationals!

Kurt got up and began gathering his things noticing Rory sadly watching him out of the corner of his eye as he began to pick up the Cher. He didn't know why he suddenly had a soft spot for the Irish boy...maybe it was the puppy dog look he would give him but he sighed and turned to his partner, "Would you like to come over my house later and watch _Burlesque_?"

Rory's face lit up as he grinned, "Sure! What's _Burlesque_?" he asked curiously. Kurt shot him a shocked look and that's when Rory knew that he was once again in trouble with his partner. It was the same look Kurt gave him when he asked who Cher was and since then he has been forced to listen to nothing but her songs.

"You poor deprived child you!" Kurt replied as he placed a hand on his chest and gave him a pity look. "Come over and I'll fix us some finger snacks and I will school you on movies Cher was also in..."

Rory gave him a worried expression, "Finger snacks? They aren't actual _fingers_ are they?"

Kurt sighed then patted him on the head, "We'll make you some waffles..."

The Irish boy grinned, "I love waffles!"

* * *

><p>It was after school and Mercedes knew Sam had football practice so she was left with Jacob till later that night when she would take him to Mike's house to be with Sam. The day was going well; with an occasional fit from Jacob but Sam was around to help her with that and for that she was grateful. She would have hated it if she was a single parent...she saw the effect it had on poor Finn. He had trouble making it through the day and it wasn't till Rachel and Quinn volunteered to watch Little Debbie at lunch time did he actually get some sleep.<p>

"Hey!"

Mercedes jumped when her ex boyfriend Shane Tinsley leaned against the locker next to her, a huge grin on his face as he stared at her in amusement.

"Jesus, Shane! Make some noise next time!" She mentally kicked herself for allowing that to happen to her once again. She really needed to learn how to pay attention and not get lost in her thoughts, "What's up?" She asked, suddenly feeling bad for snapping at him.

He shrugged, "Haven't talked to you all day. Thought I'd say hi..." He glanced down at Jacob, a small frown forming on his face. "Cute. I heard that the glee club was forced into this parenting thing to these dolls..." He looked back at her and bit his lip, obviously wanting to say something else but not knowing if he should or not.

"Yep!" Mercedes grinned as she turned her attention back to her locker and put her books away. "I am the proud mommy of a baby boy!" She joked as she felt his eyes burn holes into her.

"And Sam's the daddy."

Her eyes snapped to him. It wasn't a question, it was statement. And he didn't look happy at knowing that Sam was playing fake daddy to her fake baby. She sighed as frustration began to build up in her. Why did he have to do this? She knew he was still a little raw over the break up and her cheating but they had become good friends and it was never awkward between them. She enjoyed his company. "Shane.._don't_..."

"I'm not doing anything." He replied, catching the annoyed tone in her voice. "I just find it funny how Sam of all people is your partner for this. I mean the guy went out of his way to wedge himself in between our relationship and now he's daddy to your baby..."

"It was randomly selected by Sue Sylvester. You sound as if Sam plotted and made this happen on purpose."

Her ex shrugged, "I wouldn't put it past him."

Mercedes slammed her locker and turned to glare at him, "You both are my _friends_ now. I promise you nothing romantic is happening between me and Sam. I told him like I told you that I need some time for myself because what I did was horrible and I _hate_ myself for how I was to you." She watched as he visibly softened at her words. "Now can we drop this?"

Shane nodded before leaning forward to pull her into a hug that she returned kindly. "I just miss you, Mercedes..."

"I'm here. I'm not going anywhere." She pulled back from him and gave him a friendly smile before turning to pick up Jacob's carrier, stopping when she noticed that Sam was standing there watching them. Now when did he show up? She was about to greet him till she saw the hard expression on his face and she knew Sam well enough to know that he was not happy right now.

"Evans." Shane greeted as his eyes laid on the blonde boy.

"Tinsley." Sam replied with edge to his voice as he eyed the bigger man. "You forgot this." He held up Mercedes' bag that had all the stuff she needed for Jacob in it. The diva let out a sigh of relief before taking it from him but his eyes remained on Shane.

"Oh my god! Thank you so much, Sam! I would've been in trouble if I left this here!" She looked up at him with a grateful expression but it quickly went away when she realized his hasn't changed since he first saw them. He was pissed. It was the same look he had on Valentine's Day when she told him they couldn't be together. "Sam...?"

Without so much as a glance at her, Sam quickly turned and began to make his way down the hallway. She cursed under her breath before sending Shane an apologetic look and grabbed her carrier off the floor to follow her upset partner down the hall. He was being ridiculous once again and she'd be damned if she let him act like a stubborn brat without talking to her about what was wrong.

"Sam!" He ignored her and continued to walk away and she was starting to get annoyed. "Samuel Evans, I know you hear me!" When he turned to walk down another hallway, she sped up her pace but stopped when she almost ran into him when she turned the corner he went down. "What the heck, Sam!" She nearly crashed into his chest as he turned to glare at her.

"I don't get it!" He exclaimed angrily, throwing up his arms as he stared at her. "I just don't get it, Mercedes!"

"You don't get _what_? Why are you acting so weird?"

"_I'm_ acting weird?" He asked incredulously as he let out a humorless chuckle, "I've done _everything_ you wanted! You wanted time to find yourself and didn't want to be with me and I finally stopped forcing myself on you because I _hated_ seeing you mad at yourself for what we did! You wanted to be friends...ok! I pushed my feelings aside so that at least I can still have that with you but I don't even have that!"

Mercedes looked at him in confusion, "What are you talking about? We're friends..."

"No!" He yelled, "Because _you_ won't even hang out with me as a friend! You can't even be alone with me without having Quinn or someone around and yet with _Shane_..."

"So that's what this is about?" She asked angrily as she placed Jacob down and crossed her arms, "You're mad because I'm friends with Shane? I'm not going to just stop talking to him because you have some jealous fits!"

"No! I don't care that you're friends!" Ok maybe that was a little bit of a lie. Sam did mind that they were friends because that meant he was still sharing some of her with her ex but that wasn't the problem he was having now. "_That_...what you just did in the hall with him...why can't you do that with me?" He asked. "You won't even _look_ at me sometimes, Mercedes! And it hurts like hell!" She frowned and looked away from his gaze. "See! And yesterday in my room you acted like you didn't even want to be around me! You can laugh and hug on Shane but not with me?"

"Sam..."

"It's like you're avoiding me and we're suppose to be friends! If it weren't for Jacob you probably wouldn't even be spending so much time with me!" Speaking of Jacob, Sam was surprised he hadn't started crying from all the yelling he was doing. He sighed and tried to calm his voice, "I don't like that you treat me like a stranger."

She looked back at him, "I'm not treating you like a stranger...you know I love you, Sam...its just..." She sighed and tried to think of an explanation as to why she was treating him the way she was. He was right. They were suppose to be friends but she still treated him like he was threat to her. But in honesty; after everything they've been through, she didn't know how to be just his friend anymore. It was easy with Shane...but Sam was a different story. "I don't know how..." She stopped when she noticed a very happy Puck coming down the hall towards them. He had sunglasses on while Johnny was strapped to his chest in a baby backpack. Him and Tina must have finally came to an agreement.

"Guys!" He exclaimed as he grinned at them, "Tina is letting me have him for the rest of the day!" He didn't notice the look of frustration on Sam's face at being interrupted. "This is totally gonna be a daddy and son day till tonight when we go over Mike's!"

"That's...uh...that's great, Puck!" Mercedes replied. She was relieved that he was there now but Sam looked like he didn't feel the same. "I'm glad that you and Tina aren't at each others throats anymore."

Puck shrugged, "Yeah. She's cool when she ain't all screaming at me. Not bad for being my baby momma number two."

"Maybe you should stop calling her that if you want to get on her good side." Mercedes chuckled. She looked past Puck to see one of the girls from Cheerios making her way to them. She let out a frustrated sigh. Can this day get any worst? From the look on the other girl's face she knew this was about to be drama.

"Puckerman!"

The mohawked teen turned to see the girl make her towards him with a sly smile on her face. Before she could lean in and give him a kiss on the mouth, he pulled back and took off his sunglasses to shoot her a disgusted look, "Back off, woman! I got my son."

The girl's face dropped as she snarled at him, "You've _got_ to be kidding right?" She looked down at the doll strapped to his chest, "You said we were gonna spend the day together!"

"Change of plans." He replied coolly as he grinned down at Johnny. "Baby momma number two...er...I mean _Tina_." Mercedes gave him a satisfied nod, "Is letting me have Jacob so the dates off." The girl reached for him but he stepped back, "Back away, evil seductress! I told you I have my son so the Puckmister ain't got time to be sexing up some girl!"

Sam snapped out of his anger for awhile to stare at his friend in shock. Was Puck actually turning a girl down? Well this was a first! Tina would be so proud if she was here to see this! He wondered if Mike would believe him if he told him...

"Are you insane?" The girl asked angrily, "You're cancelling on _this_!" She gestured to her body, "For a _doll_?"

Puck didn't seem fazed by her anger. He looked down at Johnny and placed a pacifier in his mouth before shrugging, "I've seen better. Plus you chicks come and go. This little man right here...he's my life for the week." The girl stared at him in shock for awhile before turning to storm down the hall. "Bitches be acting crazy, son. You need to watch out for girls like that..._crap_...I shouldn't be saying the b word! Don't tell, Tina!"

Sam and Mercedes just stared at him, too in shock about what they witnessed to even think about snitching him out to his partner.

"See you tonight, Sam! Bye, hot mama!" They watched as he walked past them and continued his way down the hall with that huge grin on his face.

"I gotta go..." Mercedes spoke up causing Sam to turn his green gaze to her. "We'll talk about this later...I don't like you mad at me." He was going to reply that he wasn't mad but his stubbornness stopped him from replying so instead he shrugged and walked away from her yet again.

* * *

><p>"So then we get to her house and all we hear is crying. I began freaking out and then she begins freaking out because we're running around like chickens with our heads cut off looking for Joy and then there she is...tucked inside Brittany's closet with all these crayons and paper surrounding her! So I look at Brittany and she bursts out into tears and holds onto Joy as if her life depended on it and said she was tracing her feet to hang up on the wall and forgot she put her there." Mike explained as he sat back on his couch. He sighed and bit his bottom lip before looking up at the ceiling, "I never been so happy to see a doll in my life..." When he realized what he said he shot the other two guys in the room a look of embarrassment. "Don't ever tell anyone I said that! I need therapy."<p>

Sam gave him a crooked smile before leaning forward to pat his friend on the shoulder, "Dude, you are not the only one feeling this way. Look at Puck right now." The two of them looked over at the older teen who sat on the other couch by himself while attempting to read a parenting book. His face held a look of confusion as his mouth hung open. "We all are going insane over these 'dolls'. Did you know I was even planning to dress Jacob up in a Batman costume?" Mike shot him a look. "I'm serious, dude! They have the cutest costumes for babies on eBay!"

"We only get them for a week...therefore they won't be around for Halloween..."

"Stop it...you're depressing me."

"Did you know reading to a baby at a young age can help it learn faster?" Puck asked as he looked up to his friends, "Also watching certain shows and listening to certain music can help. I don't know who Mozart is but that guy sounds bad ass!"

Mike glanced at his watch before getting up from his couch, "Brittany and Mercedes should be here to drop them off soon. My parents won't be home so we should order pizza or something since you know...none of us know how to cook..." He noticed Sam shift in his seat, "You never did tell me what happened between you and Mercedes earlier...Puck said you guys looked like you were having a heated conversation in the hall."

Puck nodded, "Yeah...hot mama seemed like she wanted to cry and I know when a chick is about to cry cuz I make it happen a lot. They get all big eyed and start clenching their fist and stuff. It sucks. Lady tears are _not_ cool..." He glared at the blonde, "And if you hurt her feelings or anything Imma punch you in your face!"

Sam took in Puck's appearance; he was holding onto Johnny while having a pacifier clipped to his shirt with a monkey blanket slung over his shoulder and a big teddy bear that said 'Baby's Best Friend' on it by his side. He rolled his green eyes, "Yeah you look _really_ threatening, Puckerman."

"Don't let the binky, teddy, and baby fool you. I can still kick your ass."

"Look it was just something I needed to bring up to her and it took seeing her with Shane for me to lose my nerve, ok?" He exclaimed as he rose from the couch too. "I feel like a jerk right now and I don't know how to apologize because I'm sure she's mad at me and she has every right to be..." There was a couple of knocks at the door causing the three guys to glance at each other before Mike went to go answer it. Sam bit his lip as both Mercedes, Tina, and Brittany came into view. Both girls but Mercedes looked over at him and Puck and waved to them.

Tina gave her boyfriend a kiss before going over to Puck to check on Johnny. She handed him some more things he would need for the night before giving him a small smile, "You're really good at this!" She sounded surprised which caused her partner to shoot her a look that said 'I told you so'. "Since he will be staying the night with you I must warn you that you will be up...for _hours_. I don't know what it is about these dolls but they seem to hate letting you sleep."

Brittany nodded in agreement, "I had to get a new nightlight so when I stayed up the crazy baby stealing dwarfs wouldn't come out and try to steal Joy." Mike was going to say something but decided against it. "And thanks again for today, Mike...you're a good friend." The blonde said as she stared at her partner with a thankful expression. She was pretty sure any other person would have yelled at her but Mike was really sweet even when she was having her own doubts about herself.

The Asian shrugged as he gave the girls a smug look, "Yeah...I know." Tina lovingly rolled her eyes at her boyfriend. "And remember what I told you, Britt..." The blonde nodded. "Whose a _good_ mommy?" He asked causing her to blush and grin shyly before rocking back and forth on her heels.

"I am!" Brittany cheered.

"And whose gonna have demon dancing babies with Santana?"

"I am!"

"Good." He went and grabbed all the things from her and turned to set it down on the couch before shooting Sam a look that told him he better make things right with his partner.

Mercedes noticed the tension in the room between her and Sam and for once she was wishing that it was Tina and Puck that was the couple with the problem. She still hadn't talked to him since their fight earlier and to be honest she wasn't ready to. What was she going to say to him that'll make it better? She knew how she sometimes felt uncomfortable around him but it was still weird being just friends. "Well we gotta get going so..." She handed Sam the carrier, avoiding his eyes before turning to make her way out the door.

Mike and Puck stared at their friend in disappointment as he just let her go without them resolving their problems. "You're an idiot." Puck announced before getting up to grab the remote and turn the tv on, "And coming from me that's saying a lot." He settled on Spongebob Squarepants before sitting next to Mike who was now holding Joy.

"I don't think they should be watching this." Mike frowned as he looked at the cartoon, "I heard Spongebob makes kids stupid..."

Puck glared at him, "Does not! I watch Spongebob all the time!"

Sam and Mike looked at each other before Mike leaned forward and snatched the remote from Puck's hand. "And you just proved my point. Hey...let's play some video games!" he suggested as he made his way to the PS3 and began looking through the games he had.

Puck covered Johnny's ears, "Spongebob is the shit and you're a hater but I'm down for some video games. Just don't start crying when I spank you infront of your daughter!" The Asian turned to give him a challenging look. "You know I'm the master daddy of all things on the PS3!"

"You couldn't 'spank me' if I dropped my pants and bent over for you."

Sam watched as his friends began arguing with each other and the trash talking went up a whole new level when they both agreed on a video game. It was like any other time the three of them hung out except there were realistic baby dolls they were suppose to be watching. Sam glanced down at Jacob while the other two shouted at each other some more because Mike started accusing Puck of cheating.

"Hey guys..." The blonde spoke up as he looked over at them, "Has yours opened their eyes?" He asked curiously as he watched them hit random buttons on their controllers, the both of them glaring and making faces at the screen.

"Dude, you're a fucking _cheater_!"

"Watch your mouth infront of the babies, you douchebag!"

"Yo!" They both glared over at Sam who looked at them expectantly, "Can you two stop screaming at each other? If they start crying I'm going to kill you both!"

Puck scoffed, "Yeah...whatever, Avatar boy." His eyes went back to the screen before answering Sam's question, "Johnny opened his eyes when Tina willingly let me hold him. It was cool. Tina nearly had a panic attack and took out her camera phone to take like a billion pictures...WHAT THE FUCK, MIKE! THAT WAS MY LAST LIFE YOU DICKWAD!"

The Asian let out a victorious laugh before glancing at Sam, "Yep. She did it when we found her...yours hasn't?" The blonde shook his head, looking a little disappointed that he has yet to see Jacob's eyes. "Hmm...I wonder _why_!" Mike said sarcastically, "You need to make things right with Mercedes and stop being such a little girl."

Sam frowned. That was easier said than done. He could make it right with her and go back to being just friend but what was the point of that? It sucked being just friends. But Mike had a point and he had to make it right since he will have to be spending most of the week with her thanks to Jacob. He wasn't even a real father yet and he was already having to compromise because of the kid.

"Grr...stop using the same damn move!" Puck yelled. That must have been the final straw because Johnny began crying in his lap causing the teen to quickly drop his controller and turn his attention to the doll. "Oh shoot...daddy's sorry! Don't cry! Daddy's got you!" He began rocking it back and forth before glaring at Mike who busted out in laughter.

"That's what you get!" Puck flipped him off but it didn't phase him as he smirked, "I doubt Tina would appreciate you using such language..."

"You _wouldn't_!"

"Try me...oh no..." Mike's face dropped as he heard a small noise before his doll began crying too. "Yours is causing mines to cry! Dang it, Puck!" He grabbed the bag next to him and began going through it and hoped Brittany remembered to make the bottles. He pulled out a bottle and formula but they weren't made so he cursed again before looking over at Sam who gave them an expectant look.

"See if you two wouldn't have been yelling then maybe yours wouldn't have..." He stopped his lecturing when Jacob began joining the other two dolls in crying. Sending his friends an accusing glare; he rose from the couch to get the supplies Mercedes left him. "They didn't make the bottles..."

"No shit..."

"Would you stop cussing infront of them!" Puck exclaimed angrily as he paced back and forth with Johnny in his arms, "I swear if you weren't my baby momma's boyfriend I'd punch you in the face!"

Before another argument between them could break out; Sam interrupted, "This formula stuff for the bottles comes with instructions, guys. We can just read it..." He looked down and realized he must have been really stressed because his dyslexia was acting up. "Crap...Mike, you read it!" He tossed it to the Asian who caught the thing easily before glancing down at it.

Puck took out the three bottles and placed them on the small living room table as all three boys stared at them in confusion. Mike then began instructing them on how much to fill it up; Sam pouring the water and Puck putting in the powder stuff. They were relieved when they managed to make a baby bottle without any explosions or toxic gases being released. Sam was about to grab one and give it to Jacob before the older teen grabbed his wrist and stopped him, "What?" He asked, eyeing Puck as he in return gave him a questioning look.

"Dude...aren't we suppose to like warm it up or something? That's what the parenting book says..."

"They're dolls though...it shouldn't matter." Mike replied though the look on his face told them he wasn't so sure if they were suppose to do that or not. "Would it...would it be _better_ if we did?" He glanced down at Joy who continued to scream. "Maybe we should call the girls..."

"No!" Puck shouted. He reached to grab all three bottles from the table before hastily making his way to Mike's kitchen. "I am not gonna give that woman the satisfaction of me asking for her help on my first night with him!"

"That's the love of my life you're talking about!"

"Then you should know how psycho she is!" Puck replied from the kitchen. They heard the microwave start as they both exchanged glances and waited for him to come back in with the bottles. A few minutes later he reappeared back in the living room with a bottle in each hand while he held his own in his mouth causing his friends to shoot him a look of disgust.

"Please tell me you're not going to drink that..."

Puck tossed them their bottles before shrugging, "Why not?" He asked as he took it out his mouth to glance down at it, "Don't you wanna know how this stuff tastes?" Before they could reply he took a sip from the bottle and nearly gagged and spit it out, "_Gross_! It tastes like swamp water!"

Mike rolled his eyes, "Umm...yeah! I'm pretty sure it does taste horrible due to that fact it's meant for the dolls and not humans. Also it's suppose to make the babies excretion look and smell more realistic so I'm pretty sure it's going to taste disgusting."

"What the hell is 'excretion'? Stop using big words you know I hate them."

Sam laughed as he shook his head at Puck's stupidity, "Their _poop_, Puck! Excretion means poop. So technically you just drank Johnny's poop."

Realization filled his hazel eyes as he looked down at the baby bottle in disgust. "Eww gross...seriously, man? I've had some weird stuff in my mouth but this takes the cake!" He moved past them and sat on the couch with Johnny before feeding him. The look of sickness never left his face as he watched the doll quiet down and drink the bottle.

Before Sam could put the bottle in Jacob's mouth, the doll stopped crying. He frowned and glanced over at Mike and Puck who were too busy with their own to notice that his stopped on its own. It wasn't until his cellphone started ringing did he start to think that these babies were some kind of weird voodoo psychic dolls because Mercedes' name flashed on the screen. He quickly excused himself and made his way to the kitchen before answering his phone, "Hello?"

She was silent for a moment but when she spoke he could hear the forced friendliness in her voice, "Hey...just thought I'd call to check in...how's everything?"

Sam bit his bottom lip as he leaned against the counter in the kitchen, "Umm...fine. Me and the guys got this under control. Piece of cake..."

"OH MY GOD! HOW MUCH CAN A DOLL POOP? SHE LIKE HAS IT EVERYWHERE!"

The blonde winced as Mike's voice echoed throughout the house causing Mercedes to laugh. So much for her believing that they were handling this well by themselves. He was about to come up with an explanation to make it look like the three of them weren't completely hopeless when it came to the babies till Puck had to open his big mouth too.

"SHUT UP, MIKE! I'M FINALLY GETTING JOHNNY TO FALL ASLEEP IF YOU MAKE HIM CRY AGAIN I'M GOING TO THROW YOU IN A DUMPSTER!"

"Yeah...sounds like you guys have everything under control. You guys sound calm, cool, and collected..." Mercedes chuckled as Sam sighed into the phone. "Well I hope Jacob isn't being too much trouble...what is that noise?" she asked suddenly when she heard a small banging coming from his side of the line.

That was a good question. Sam frowned and leaned forward to peer into the living room; Mike was once again banging his head against the wall as Puck shot him an angry look.

"Stop doing that, dude! You'll like ruin your brain and I need your smartness to help me with my math homework!"

"Nothing!" Sam replied quickly before turning away from the scene as if that would stop Mercedes from hearing the noise. "And Jacob isn't too much trouble. He's perfect...he misses you..." He admitted softly. Even though they had a little argument earlier he wanted to make sure she knew that he wasn't giving up on her. No matter what.

She must have realized he wasn't really talking about Jacob because she replied, "I miss him too. I'm trying, Sam...I really am...I just need time..."

"I know. And I was a dick earlier and for that I apologize but I was completely serious when I said you don't even treat me like a friend, Cedes."

"Yes but something tells me if I did treat you like a friend that you still wouldn't be satisfied." She had a point there. "Look I gotta go...Brittany got herself stuck in a confessional and me and Tina gotta get her out. Want me to still pick you up for school in the morning?"

He smirked, "I'd like that. Bye, Cedes."

"Bye, Sam." Sam hung up his phone before releasing a breath. At least she wasn't mad at him...and this could be the start of things getting better between them and of her not being so guarded. He believed it wouldn't be long till they were back together and he hoped it was soon. They were wasting so much time with this 'friends' nonsense. He was about to return to the living room before he heard Puck begin to shout again.

"DUDE! JOHNNY JUST THREW UP ON ME!" And then once again all three babies began crying. Sam mentally cursed Puck...this was going to be a long night.

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><p><em>AN: Up next Mr. Schue begins worrying about the kids as they get more serious about their dolls and we get some Quinn and Rachel, Artie and Santana...and Finn finds out that Little Debbie is sick...dun dun dun! Thanks for the reviews, favs, and alerts! Love the feedback._


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary: Sue Sylvester forces the Glee club to get up on their parenting skills now that she's pregnant giving each of the kids a life like baby to take care of for a week. Samcedes. Sam/Mike/Puck friendship. Various Glee friendships.**

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><p>Quinn Fabray has and will always be a morning person. She didn't know why but she felt the most energized when school first begins in oppose to the rest of the day when she just wants to drag herself to bed and sleep after glee and the extra studying she's been doing for Yale. Her green eyes looked down at Richie who was tuck safely in his carrier on the ground by her locker; grinning, the blonde began to open her locker and smirk at the picture of Beth before getting her things. She was feeling much better these days and Shelby would send her daily pics of Beth that would always make her burst out in giggles. She was getting bigger and beautiful every day...she missed her.<p>

Quinn frowned and bit her lip, she would not think about that right now. She was seventeen and it was time to enjoy her last year at McKinley, she was going to take Sam's advice to heart. _Hold onto sixteen..._

"Hey, Quinn!" The blonde jumped and turned to meet Joe Hart's soft light eyes, grinning automatically at his presence. She didn't know what it was about the guy that made her happy. He was a Jesus freak who had a tendency to be really naive at times but she found that the most endearing about him. Maybe it was the way he didn't mind that people found him strange, maybe it was the way he had a bible quote for everything...or maybe it was because his heart was pure...but Quinn truly liked him. "I heard about your new baby." He continued, not noticing that she was staring at him intensely. She frowned at that; all the guys at McKinley turned to mush at her gaze. Finn, Puck, Sam...the three of them couldn't resist it. Joe on the other hand didn't even flinch. "I was thinking maybe the God Squad can hold a little baptismal for it!"

The blonde shook out her thoughts to look down at Richie before looking back up to Joe, "Actually...that is a really good idea. I wanted to baptize Beth but..." She trailed off not wanting to think about that right now, "I'd love to baptize Richie. You don't think Sam and Mercedes would mind?"

Joe shook his head, his dreadlocks swaying back and forth as he answered her, "No I talked to Mercedes about it and she agreed. She even wants to do it for her and Sam's!"

"Really? Well then let's do this..."

"I don't think so!" Quinn shut her eyes and mentally cursed before turning to see Rachel standing behind her with a look of anger spread across her face. Since Quinn was staying with her for the week, they would arrive at school real early in the morning but Rachel took that opportunity to practice her notes and plan things for glee club while Quinn finished up homework and organized things. She thought Rachel would be in the auditorium right now; bossing the band around or whatever it was she did there. "Are you forgetting that I'm Jewish?" the brunette asked sharply but her eyes darted to Joe who visibly gulped at her stare. _Oh sure, he reacts to her looks._ Quinn thought angrily. "Hello, Joseph, I see you didn't take my advice on why wearing sandals to school especially in the winter is a major fashion and health hazard."

"Oh like you know anything about fashion." Quinn said with a roll of her eyes. She shut her locker before turned fully to her partner, "I want to baptize Richie." She announced with a shrug causing the brunette to gape at her. They never really talked about what religion they wanted Richie due to the fact they only were going to have him for a week but Joe bringing that up must have struck a nerve on Rachel.

"Richard is my son too, Quinn. You cannot just go around making these decisions without asking me first!"

"Well I let you choose everything else!" She exclaimed, "I didn't stop you when you wanted to give him a warm milk bath because it was good for his breathing and skin! I didn't stop you when you made us watch all of Barbra Streisand's movies and songs...I even let you dress him in that ridiculous sweater vest that I'm pretty sure you stole from Mr. Schue and shrunk..."

"I did not!"

"But this is something I believe in and I want my..._our_...child to be a Christian!"

"And I want him Jewish." Rachel replied with equal intensity and emotion as Quinn. Both girls stared at each other, the both of them refusing to look away because they both wanted what the other girl didn't.

Joe's eyes darted between them as his mouth hung open at their anger towards each other. He wasn't trying to start a fight, he just really thought it would be nice to have a baptismal for Quinn's baby since she would only have him for a week and he thought she would enjoy doing that. Rachel on the other hand was not happy about his suggestion and the way the smaller girl was clenching her jaw and fist he could see that maybe this was a bad idea. "Um..." He spoke up causing both girls to glare over at him, "I didn't mean to start a fight...I'm sorry..."

"Well you should be!" Rachel yelled causing the boy to jump back as she advanced towards him and poked him hard in the chest. "He is my son! Who do you think you are coming in and trying to baptize him!"

Quinn had enough. She quickly pushed herself between Joe and Rachel, her green eyes burning into Rachel's brown eyes, "Don't talk to him like that! And there you go with that 'my' crap again!" The brunette frowned. "Last time I checked Ms. Sylvester assigned the both of us to Richie..."

"They did. And we're not baptizing him and that's final!" Without another word, Rachel grabbed Richie's carrier and stuck her nose in the air before storming off dramatically.

The blonde growled before hitting her hand on her locker in anger. Rachel was infuriating and she wanted to strangle her more now than she ever wanted to. So far this being a mommy thing was easy. Quinn saw how everyone else struggled with their partners and how they couldn't deal with the dolls constant crying but Quinn was doing so great...it was natural to her. But now it was becoming a struggle because she was realizing this partnership with Rachel was not as easy as she hoped because they were both so different when it came to their views on how to raise a baby.

"I really am sorry." She looked over to see Joe looking at her with a look of sadness and guilt. He looked uncomfortable at her outburst and she suddenly felt bad for reacting like that in front of him. "I'll tell Rachel that I was just playing...we won't do it..."

"Oh yes we will!" Quinn replied, interrupting him. "We're going to be baptizing Richie whether Rachel likes it or not because he is mine and no one is going to tell me what I can and cannot do with my child!"

* * *

><p><em>Isn't he lovely<br>Isn't he wonderful  
>Isn't he precious<br>Less than one minute old  
>I never thought through love we'd be<br>Making one as lovely as he  
>But isn't he lovely made from love<em>

Quinn sang as she swayed back with Richie in her arms, her green eyes looking down at him with adoration before snapping up to give her partner a cold glare. Her pink lips got thin as Rachel went and took the doll from her arms before singing the next verse to Stevie Wonder's song with love and an edge that only Quinn understood:

_Isn't he pretty  
>Truly the angel's best<br>Boy, I'm so happy  
>We have been heaven blessed<br>I can't believe what Sue has done  
>Through us she's given life to one<br>But isn't he lovely made from love_

Rachel grinned happily as the glee club clapped along to the beat and completely ignored the blonde as she tried to make her way over to her and the doll. She glanced over and caught her intense green gaze and watched as Quinn clenched the sides on her long yellow skirt instead of shooting forward to snatch Richie but they put aside that anger to sing the next line they wrote for Richie:

_Isn't he lovely_  
><em>Life and love are the same<em>  
><em>Power is Richard<em>  
><em>The meaning of his name<em>  
><em>Faberry it could have not been done<em>  
><em>Without us who brought the one<em>  
><em>That's so very lovely made from love<em>

The both of them barely muttered the last word 'love' because right now they had nothing but anger towards each other. But when the music finally stopped and they were done with their song, their friends all cheered as Mr. Schue rose from his seat to give them an approving smile.

"Wow, Rachel and Quinn...that was beautiful. I truly felt the adoration you had for your doll. Not to mention changing the words around to match him...excellent!"

"That was intense yo." Puck spoke up as everyone turned to stare at him, "I totally thought you guys were going to bust out into a fight the way you were glaring and snatching Richie from each other..." A slow grin spread on his face as he nodded slowly, "That would be so hot. You should take off your tops and do that!" Tina punched him in the arm causing him to wince in pain, "I was just joking! It was a joke!"

Quinn quickly took Richie from Rachel before sitting herself on the farthest side of the room away from her partner causing Artie to frown when the blonde took the empty chair next to him, "Am I missing something here? Because I'm starting to believe what Puck is saying...you guys mad at each other?" He asked as he glanced down at Rachel who took the available seat next to Brittany.

"I'm not mad."

"Neither am I."

Everyone took in their 'not mad' glares at each other and shot Mr. Schue a questioning look causing the teacher to shrug in confusion. Once again there was another partner fight and he thought Rachel and Quinn was the best out of all of them. They never once argued about Richie, he wondered why they were acting like this now. That's when he noticed something...

"Where's Finn?" He asked noticing the tall teen wasn't in the room. "Did he come to school today?"

Sam shrugged, "When Mercedes got me he wasn't home...I figured he left early or something."

"I haven't seen him." Kurt replied, "I thought he was with Rachel and Quinn knowing they like to make it to school early."

Rachel frowned, "He told me not to pick him up today..."

"I totally fell asleep in math so I don't know if he was there." Puck spoke up, looking over to Mike who shrugged also. Both boys didn't know if Finn came to school today and felt like bad friends but after last night with the three babies they were beyond exhausted to notice anything right now. "Maybe he'll be at football practice today."

Sam smirked, "He better be. Since I got my spot back on the team I really ain't up to being quarterback today after last night. I will gladly let him boss us around because I am too tired to do it myself." He also didn't want to be quarterback because that meant he had to interact with Shane more than he wanted to. But he wouldn't admit that aloud to anyone. The guy hasn't done anything wrong to him, he just wasn't comfortable around him.

"Well...if no one sees him today it would be nice if one of you checked up on him." Mr. Schue replied, "He's a single father, remember? I still gotta have a talk with Sue about these dolls. Maybe we can cut it to being shorter than a week..."

"No!" Everyone in the class shouted as they stared at him with angry and scared expressions. He backed away at their sudden outburst before raising his hands in surrender. He thought they would be happy to have the dolls only for a couple of days seeing on how they all were going crazy with their partners. Maybe he was wrong...

"Me and Mike are bringing Joy to our dance classes." Brittany announced as she grinned at her partner, "She opens her eyes when we dance so we figured we should take her to class with us. That way she can see how awesome her parents are and will learn our great moves and out dance all your kids and steal away their boyfriends and girlfriends because she will be bilingual like her mommy." Mike shot her look as Santana grinned lovingly at her girlfriend.

"Yeah and I already got all this cool shit for Johnny." Puck said as he held his hands over the dolls ears but everyone else glared at him for cursing infront of theirs babies. "What? I covered mines ears...ain't my fault you guys ain't quick enough to do the same for your kids!"

"What we're trying to say, Mr. Schue, is that we actually really enjoy this assignment." Mercedes spoke up with a grin, "I mean yeah at first we were reluctant and freaked out at how creepy these dolls are but it's really fun being a parent for a week...having to care about something other than school and ourselves. It's a distraction."

"A distraction? You should be focusing on yours and Trouty Mouth's relationship, honey. Coz the rest of us are tired of all this sexual tension. Just get back together already!" Santana exclaimed as everyone in the room, including Mr. Schue and the band nodded in agreement. Mercedes shot her friend a look causing the Latina to shrug carelessly before turning her attention back to Jackson, "I'm just keepin' it real."

"And on that note...back to glee club!"

* * *

><p>"I now call this meeting of the God Squad to order!" Mercedes exclaimed as she sat at the head of the table with the gavel in her hand. She glanced across to see her friend still in a sour mood as she held Richie and rocked him back and forth consciously. Mercedes frowned, wondering why Quinn wasn't happy and what was going on between her and Rachel. She looked over at Sam and saw him staring at her in return, wondering what she was wondering. "Quinn, are you ok?"<p>

The blonde snapped her eyes up to them and noticed Mercedes and Sam giving her the same look. How did they always manage to do that? Always be so in sync with each other? She would have laughed and commented on it if she wasn't still so angry. Then there was Joe on his side of the room sitting there all sad looking and she felt bad for him. He thought she was mad at him but she wasn't; she was frustrated...with _Rachel_! Even the thought of that girl made her want to grit her teeth in anger.

"I'm fine." She lied, hoping her friends would get the point that she didn't want to discuss it. Sam seemed to let it go but Mercedes, being the good friend and diva that she was, was not going to let it go.

"You're not fine...you're angry about something."

"Drop it, Mercedes..."

"This is a club and you are my friend. I am not going to just 'drop it'." She replied angrily, almost offended that Quinn thought she would let her forget about what's bothering her. Mercedes hated that she wasn't there for her when Quinn had her rebellious days which turned out to be from postpartum depression and after that she promised herself she would never leave Quinn alone again. "What's going on?"

Joe sighed causing everyone to stare at him as he stood, his light eyes holding a lot of emotion. "This is all my fault. I brought up you guys baptizing your dolls and Rachel found out and her and Quinn got into a huge argument...I'm sorry." His head hung low as his dreadlocks covered his shame filled face.

"Dude, we all agreed we'd do it though...it's not your fault." Sam replied.

Quinn nodded, "Exactly what I've been telling him. This is all _Rachel's_ fault!" She seethed as she remembered the argument in the hallway. "I cannot believe she thinks she can just take everything that has to do with Richie from me...I have let her make so many choices when it came to him but this...this is something I _strongly_ want."

Mercedes frowned, "And Rachel strongly wants Richie to be Jewish." The blonde rolled her eyes before turning her head away from her friend. "This is a big deal for you both. And since you only have Richie for a week it's an even bigger deal..."

"Can't you guys like flip a coin or something?" Sam asked causing both girls to glare at him. He frowned then shrunk back in his seat. "What? Just a suggestion..."

"I really hope you don't use 'flipping a coin' to decide on how to raise our kid, Sam." Mercedes replied, "Especially when it comes to religion."

He gave her a crooked smile, "I wouldn't have to do that since we already have the same beliefs but thank you for thinking about the future of _our_ children."

Her eyes widened, "I..I wasn't...I meant...I was talking about Jacob!" Mercedes stuttered as everyone gave her a knowing look. "_Anyways_!" She shouted before Sam could say anything else, "You and Rachel need to talk this out...avoiding each other is not going to settle anything especially when you will be staying at her house all week, Quinn."

Quinn smiled, "You're one to give advice about trying to not avoid feelings, Mercedes." Her and Sam grinned at each other before Mercedes gave them both a death glare. "Ok, ok...I'm sorry. That was inappropriate." The diva nodded in agreement. "Its just...this assignment means a lot to me and I wanna be able to do everything a regular mom would do if they had a baby. It being baptized was always number one on my list because you know how much I believe in this!"

Mercedes nodded, "I know, Quinn. And I know it's not easy for Rachel either. She's the only child of two gay fathers...you know she's use to having her way. I bet she has Richie's future planned out in her head and when you brought up baptism she freaked..."

"I just wanna do it because I always wanted to try." Joe spoke up, "My dad taught me how to do it when I was six but I never got to do it and I saw this as an opportunity..."

Quinn frowned, not liking how sad he seemed lately. "I will talk to Rachel. We'll settle this. Let's just hope it don't end in a bloodbath."

* * *

><p>Artie wheeled his way out his last hour class with Jackson wrapped in a blanket in his lap. He had him most of the day since Santana was busy with the Cheerios plus it was his night to have him and he was beyond happy to have fatherson time. School was finally getting over and he managed to go throughout the day without so much as a rude remark from Santana about all the Michael Jackson songs he would sing to him; but when she wanted to belt out Amy Winehouse he'd let her! They were somewhat getting along but he would still call her the occasional 'woman' and she had changed his name from wheels to the BD...meaning the baby daddy.

He made it to his locker when he felt the familiar shadows and crowding of the hockey team. Gulping, Artie looked up to see Rick and the rest of the team staring down at him with slushies and menacing smiles. Ever since being assigned dolls the rest of the school would shoot them weird looks but never commented on it due to the fact Sue had threatened anyone who messed up this experience for the glee club. Even the football team didn't care that they had these dolls, they even helped Finn change Little Debbie or would hold her when she cried and Finn was too busy on the field. But leave it to the hockey team to be the big douchebags and pick on him of all people since he was the most defenseless.

"Hey, guys." Artie said as his eyes darted around at each of their faces. His arms enclosed around Jackson as he held the doll tighter to his chest in fear that they may try to take him. "What do I owe the pleasure?" he asked but his blue eyes went to the cups in their hands and knew exactly what was up. It was after school so Sue was probably out on the field with the Cheerios and Schue was probably on his way home. He knew the rest of the football team was already in the locker room getting ready for practice so he was pretty much screwed.

"Oh you know why we're here." Rick sneered as his eyes went straight to Jackson. "It's bad enough you glee losers are stinking up McKinley with your dumb music but now you're bringing dolls into the mix? Nuh uh...not cool. You deserve a slushie. A whole _bunch_ of slushies." The hockey team chuckled and nodded in agreement with their leader.

Artie knew he was cornered and there was no way getting out of this. He was actually surprised it took the hockey team this long to get to him, it was only the third day but he was sure they have been wanting to do this since Sue handed out the dolls. He released a sigh, "Ok let's just get this over with." He wrapped the blanket around Jackson tighter, "Just...don't get any on the baby, please?"

Rick shot him an incredulous look, "It's a _doll_!" he snorted, "Man, you make this so much easier for me to do! Ready guys?" He watched as Artie shut his eyes tightly before squeezing Jackson tightly to his chest in protection. He was about to throw the first cup till a sharp grip grabbed his upper arm, throwing him to the side. "Ouch...what the hell!" He turned to see Santana giving him the darkest look ever; her sharp nails digging into his skin as it drew blood. "Let go of me, you crazy bitch!"

Santana's brown eyes darkened even more as she held up her nail filer to Rick's face, her voice was low and dangerous, "I _know_ I did not just walk in on you and your dickless loser friends about to slushy _my_ BD and son!" She watched as he winced under her gaze, even the rest of the guys backed up in fear of what she would do. "Oh so now you can't say anything when someone actually stands up to you, puckheads?" She finally released his arm causing him to gasp and hold his arm in pain. "Lemme tell _you_ something if you mess with him you mess with me! And no one messes with Santana Lopez without there being consequences, got that?" Rick nodded quickly and she gave him a devilish grin, "Now apologize to Artie!"

"S-sorry man..we were just messing around..."

"Oh shut your mouth, mullet!" Santana snapped as he tried to make an excuse for his horrible behavior. "I can't stand a bully and I can't stand you now gets outta my face befores I go all Lima Heights Adjacent on that bony white ass of yours...wait!" Before he could turn and walk away, she snatched the slushie from his hand and tossed it in his face. "There..._now_ you can go."

Artie watched in shock as Rick and the rest of the hockey team ran off like dogs with their tails between their legs. He looked over at his partner to see she was still pissed off about what she was about to witness and he knew after the whole Dave Karofsky thing she hated seeing someone bullied but this was Santana standing up for him. He was use to everyone else in the glee club doing it but he thought after the whole history between him, Brittany, and her that she hated him. Sure she manipulated Brittany into being with her at first but when Artie seen that they truly loved each other he let it go but he thought Santana didn't like him because he knew for a fact the Latina still felt threatened by him.

"Uhh..." She turned to look at him as he tried to find the right words to say to her, "Thanks?"

Her anger seemed to melt away as she smirked and gave him a careless shrug, "You're my BD! What kinda baby momma would I be if I allowed those dicks to do that to you?" she asked, her eyes going down to Jackson. "If I wouldn't had made it on time and they slushied our baby I would've been one pissed off bitch!"

"Well...thanks for coming to rescue our son." He joked but she frowned at that and placed a hand on his shoulder before leaning down to look at him. "I mean I couldn't do it so at least one of Jackson's parents has to have a backbone..."

"Don't say that, Artie." His blue eyes darted to her face as he gave her a shocked look. Her voice sounded sincere and she actually said his real name. "I came to stop them from harming _you_." She grinned at his expressions, "Believe it or not, you are my friend and if they mess with you then they mess with me. Protecting Jackson was just a plus." She winked at him before picking up the doll to hold as she sat on his lap in the wheelchair. "Now wheel me to the field, baby daddy! I'm already late for cheer practice and I'm sure Sue will have my ass!"

Artie grinned brightly at her before doing as she said.

* * *

><p>Sam made it into the locker room immediately spotting Mike and Puck who were already shirtless as they pulled out their uniforms to change. He glanced around and saw the others; ignoring the look Shane gave him, before making his way to his locker, "Where's Finn?" he asked Mike when he realized the teen still hasn't been seen. He was starting to get worried.<p>

The Asian shrugged, "Still haven't seen him...Puck tried to call his cell but no answer." He replied with a frown. "I think we should send out a search party. This isn't like him at all."

"Yeah...what if he like died from exhaustion or something?" Puck asked, his eyes wild as he thought of all the possibilities. "We saw how he was with Little Debbie...maybe the stress took a toll of him and he had a mental breakdown somewhere."

"Puck, don't start with your crazy theories..." Sam stopped when he noticed a tall figure enter the locker room out the corner of his eyes. He turned to see a very tired and sad Finn. He looked paler than usual and his brown eyes were big and rimmed with redness and unshed tears. He immediately dropped his bag and made his way over to his friend as the rest of the football players stared at him in concern. "Dude...you ok?"

Finn held onto his carrier tightly and shook his head no. "I've been up all day trying to make her feel better...she's been sick, Sam...I don't know how to make her feel better." He sobbed before pulling the blonde into a hug, nearly crushing him. "Little Debbie has been crying and throwing up and I've been freaking out! I wanted to take her to a doctor but she's a doll so you know they'd like think I'm crazy but...Sam...I'm _scared_!"

Before Sam could reply, Coach Beiste entered the room to see the boys in a hug as the rest of the team stared at them. "What's going on here?" She asked causing Finn to release Sam and crash into her body, his long arms wrapping around her frame as he hugged her tightly. "Whoa there, Hudson...why are you hugging me? Loosen your grip! You're squishing my chest!" Finn loosened his grip on her but didn't let go. "Why is he crying and hugging me? I could've sworn this was the boys locker room _not_ the girls!"

"His doll is sick." Sam replied. "He's having a hard time trying to get her better..."

"How does a doll get sick?" Coach Beiste asked as the guys all shrugged. They wanted to know that too. It was awkward enough seeing their quarterback, the guy who was suppose to be their leader, crying over a doll. "Let go of me, Hudson!"

Finn did as she said and set his carrier down to pick up Little Debbie to show to them, "Look at her...she's all sick looking!" He tried to repress a sob and knew that he would get teased for this by his teammates but right now he didn't care. He just wanted her better!

Azimio got up and approached him, his eyes looking curiously over the doll's face. "She looks fine to me, man. I think you're exaggerating..." Before he could finish the doll let out a greenish, chunky thing all over his beater causing the larger man to jump back and look down at his chest in horror. "She just threw up on me!" He exclaimed as Finn quickly grabbed a towel to clean up Little Debbie. "That doll is the freakin' Exorcist! Call a Priest! Sam!" The blonde turned to looked at the hysterical teen, "Ain't you part of the God Squad? Getcho white butt over there and perform an exorcism!"

Finn held onto Little Debbie protectively before shooting Azimio an offended glare, "She's sick, ok? It's not her fault!"

"Alright everybody calm down!" Coach Beiste yelled before everyone went crazy. "Finn, just stop feeding the doll and she'll stop throwing up..." She watched as Finn gasped and looked at her in horror at the thought of not feeding Little Debbie. "That's the smart thing to do..."

"She'll _starve_!"

"She's a doll!"

"You don't understand!" Finn cried out before walking past everyone to make his way into one of the bathroom stalls, "No one understands! She's sick and there's nothing I can do about it! I just want her better! She needs to get better! _Idontwannatalktoyouguysnomore_!" They all exchanged glances as he sobbed in the stall and continued to mutter things incoherently.

"This school has turned into a loony bin!" Coach Beiste exclaimed as she listened to her star quarterback cry like a little girl in the bathroom. "Me and Sue are going to have to have a talk about this! Till then everyone else better be on the field in five minutes! No excuses!"

Sam, Mike, and Puck exchanged glances, not knowing if they should go comfort Finn or just leave him to cry his feelings out. They knew Beiste would give them hell for being late for practice but right now Finn was having a panic attack and they knew all too well how it felt to freak out over the dolls. It wasn't till Artie entered the locker room did they decide to put it all on him since he already had Jackson.

"What's up, guys?"

"You're on Finn duty!" Mike announced before turning to continue to change into his uniform.

"Yep, good luck with that. He's in the bathroom crying." Puck said.

"Little Debbie is sick so stay away from her mouth coz she's shooting out vomit left and right." Sam warned as he began taking off his shirt. Artie examined the trio before releasing a sigh and wheeling towards the bathroom to check on Finn. This is why he hated being late for practice.

Before Sam could continue to get naked his cell went off and he saw he had a text from Mercedes. He read it with a slight grin, she was inviting him over his house tonight so they could go over a song to sing to Jacob for glee club. Hopefully they could take this opportunity to talk more about them since things seemed like they were getting better. He wasn't going to push her back into a relationship with him...he was just going to make sure that she knew he was the one.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Next up Sebastian makes an appearance and Sue makes a suggestion...: )_


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary: Sue Sylvester forces the Glee club to get up on their parenting skills now that she's pregnant giving each of the kids a life like baby to take care of for a week. Samcedes. Sam/Mike/Puck friendship. Various Glee friendships.**

* * *

><p>Kurt realized it was hopeless getting Rory interested into the same things he was in the moment he put on <em>Burlesque<em> and the Irish boy would giggle every time the girls wore a skimpy outfit and mutter 'Boobies'. So instead the young teen decided to take his partner with him to the Lima Bean so they can get some coffee and chat a little since he really didn't know much about the new kid. Ever since getting a boyfriend, Kurt really hasn't took the opportunity to talk to anyone else. He had his occasional diva nights with Rachel and Mercedes but since one was now engaged to his stepbrother and the other was having major boy problems; he barely hung out with them anymore. And since Blaine's time was spent on taking care of Queen so Sugar couldn't completely ruin their doll, Kurt barely seen him as much anymore either.

"This place smells weird." Rory frowned as he sat in the seat across Kurt, his green eyes taking in his surroundings warily. "What is this place?"

"The Lima Bean...you've never been here?" He watched as the other boy shook his head. "You mean you've been in Lima this long and haven't tried these delicious, addicting drinks? You poor deprived kid!" He exclaimed. He has been saying that to Rory a lot lately but it was true. It's like the boy was completely and utterly naive...even more than Finn! "You are so lucky to have me as your partner."

The corners of Rory's lips quirked up, "Oh now you're happy to have me as a partner? I had to practically beg you to let me hold Cher."

"Yeah I know...I have my moments and for that I apologize." Kurt sighed. "In my defense I was an only child for a good chunk of my life so I am not use to sharing. Also I didn't know much about you except what Brittany tells people and since that girl doesn't have all the bolts in her head I tend to not listen to anything she says." Rory nodded. "You're not a bad guy, Rory. You're actually kind of adorable. Like a little puppy."

Not knowing if that was an insult or compliment, the other boy blushed anyways. "You either. I can't believe I believed Puck when he said you were going to get us matching jean outfits like Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake!"

Kurt made a face and patted his hand, "Oh honey...you will never find me in a jean outfit. That is tacky." He was about to take a sip from his drink when he saw Sebastian enter the cafe and make his way over to them. Kurt rolled his eyes. The Warbler was sweet after the whole Dave Karofsky thing but he was still a little weasel. Sure he took his bullying down a level but a person like that didn't just change over night. Even Santana still had a problem keeping her bitch attitude in check. "Hello, Sebastian." He greeted as nicely as he could when the Warbler approached them with his signature smirk. "Not surprised to see you here...do you own the place or something?"

The other guy laughed as Rory darted his eyes from him to Kurt. "Oh Kurt, you never cease to make my day better." Sebastian looked down, noticing the other boy for the first time. "And this is...?" He had a hard time keeping up with all the New Directions people especially if he didn't see them as a threat. He's seen Rory from time to time but never thought he mattered since he's never seen him sing a solo or anything, "More of your backup dancers from glee?"

Rory frowned and was about to reply but Kurt beat him to it, "No, Sebastian, he is not a 'backup dancer'." He said with a roll of the eyes, "Rory can't even dance. He has no rhythm at all!" Kurt smiled at his partner but Rory was not at all pleased by him coming to his rescue. He just seemed to insult him more! It wasn't his fault he couldn't dance! And in his defense back in Ireland people thought he was a really good dancer!

"Oh." Sebastian looked over at the small carrier in the seat next to Kurt. "And whose is that? I really hope you didn't start a babysitting club to pay for your way to Nationals..." He looked closer at the baby and realized the baby was looking up at him with the most creepiest glassy green eyes he's ever seen. "Why is it looking at me?"

Kurt quickly covered Cher before turning his glare to Sebastian, "It's a doll that we have to take care of for a week. Rory is my partner and if you don't mind I don't want your horse teeth being my kids first memory." Rory's eyebrows shot up as he looked up to see Sebastian's expression...the other boy didn't look mad at all. He seemed even more amused as he examined Kurt before looking down at his watch. "Somewhere to be?"

"No just wondering when Blaine is going to show up...or is this one your new boyfriend?" Rory glared at him. "He seems more like your type. You both have the skin of a toddler's backside. You guys can even go through puberty together!"

"Get lost, Sebastian!"

"Don't have to tell me twice. See ya later. Congrats on the win again." Before they could say thanks, the Warbler sharply turned and made his way down the aisle with that stupid smirk plastered on his face once again.

Kurt was fuming. Leave it to Sebastian to turn his good day to a bad one in less than a minute. He took the blanket off Cher to glare down at her now closed eyes, "You've betrayed me, Cher! Opening your eyes for _him_ of all people!" The doll continued to breathe evenly, like it could care less that Kurt's rival got an reaction from the doll. "Daddy is not happy!"

Rory frowned, his accent thickening as he leaned over to peer at Cher, "Leave 'er alone, Kurt! She don't know any better." He finally took a sip from the drink Kurt ordered for him before wincing with disgust. "Ugh...I hate caffeine! Where is Blaine by the way?"

"I invited him and Queen but Sugar had to do something so couldn't come." Kurt explained, "She doesn't want me and Blaine alone with Queen because she's afraid we'll run off with her daughter or something like that." He shrugged as the Irish boy shot him a confused look. "She's been watching a lot of Lifetime movies lately so she's more paranoid than ever...but to be honest I so would run off with Blaine and Queen. Two daughters with my boyfriend? It's a gay man's fantasy! No offence...you're a good father and all but..."

Rory quirked a brow and smirked, "Not your type, eh?"

"Exactly."

"Well you're not mine either."

The two boys grinned at each other before returning to their drinks.

* * *

><p>Sam was running late to Mercedes' house thanks to Finn. After practice, the guys finally got the teen out of the stall by promising him cake and saying that Little Debbie would get better in which she did. The doll had finally stopped throwing up and according to Finn she was back to her 'natural color', though none of the guys thought she looked any different but they weren't going to argue with their quarterback. It was nice to see Finn happy again and Coach Beiste was still threatening to have a talk with Sue about turning her players into sissy little girls.<p>

The blonde quickly showered and told Mike he'd meet him later so they can do their English homework together and from the numerous texts he received from Mercedes he knew he was going to be in trouble for being two hours late. He figured she was rushing him because her parents weren't home which meant she was left alone with Jacob and as much as she felt she would be a good mother, she still was not ready to take care of a baby by herself. Especially since she still did not know what she was doing.

He quickly jumped out Puck's car, thanking the teen for a ride before jogging up to Mercedes' porch and knocking on the screen door. He heard some movement and crying as the front door quickly swung open and before he could greet her, she grabbed the top of his shirt and pulled him into the house. When he finally regained his composure, his green eyes examined his partner and noticed she was in sweats and her hair was all over the place; her face was makeup free and her normally warm brown eyes were wary and tired. "You ok, Cedes? You don't look so good..." Sam looked down to see a screaming Jacob in her arms and winced. Has he been like that all day?

"He will not stop crying!" She exclaimed, "I don't know what's wrong he just keeps going and going...I've tried everything! I called Quinn and she said wait till you show up and maybe he'll stop. So I've been calling and texting you but no reply!" Mercedes shot him an angry glare causing him to rub the back of his neck and look down in shame.

"Er...sorry about that. Finn was having a crisis with Little Debbie..."

"I was having a crisis here! With your son!" Mercedes yelled. He looked up at her and took in her expression before biting back a smirk that made her even more mad, "What is so funny, Evans?" She asked, "This is not a joke!"

That caused him to outright laugh at her and her look darkened as he lifted his hands and tried to explain himself, "I'm sorry...it's just...you really sound like the mother of my child right now. I feel like some husband who just got home really late and his wife is mad because he left her alone all night with their newborn child..." Mercedes didn't look amused at all so the smile on his face quickly disappeared, "Sorry...here...give him to me." Sam took Jacob from her arms and frowned when the doll immediately stopped crying. "That's so weird..."

Mercedes stared at him in shock before biting her bottom lip, "Why does he always calm down when we're together?" She asked aloud causing Sam's green eyes to snap up to hers. "And yet...still no opening of the eyes."

"Give it time. He'll do it...hopefully before the week is up."

"We have till Monday then!" The diva exclaimed. She ran a hand through her messy hair before glancing up the stairs then back at Sam, "Ok let's take this up to my room. I have a list of songs that may be good for us to sing for Jacob..." She stopped when she noticed a familiar look in his eyes that caused her to blush and look down. "Don't make this weird..."

The blonde bit his lip before replying, "Sorry...just remembered the days when you use to invite me to your room for different things..."

"Sam..."

He shrugged, unashamed. "Well it's true." A grin spread across his face as Mercedes quickly turned to make her way upstairs but he caught her small smile. "Your room is still the first door on the left, right?" He asked as she continued to make her way up the stairs, "I really hope you got your bed fixed after that little incident..." Mercedes almost tripped up the stairs as she turned to give him a look of shock. "Too far?"

"Way too far, Sam!"

The blonde grinned but followed her up the stairs anyways.

* * *

><p>Mercedes' room was just how Sam remembered it. There were more pictures of her and people from the glee club plastered all over her vanity and the walls were a dark purple with posters of famous black singers she admired as her name written in gold was above her leopard sheet bed. He glanced around and noticed that there was a picture of Mercedes and Shane still on her bedside table and tried his best not to shoot her a jealous look that said 'Are you kidding me?'. But then he noticed the pictures of her and him from a photobooth when they went on one of their mall dates next to it; right by a pic of her, Quinn, and Beth. He smirked at that.<p>

"Ok so I have these songs..." Mercedes spoke as she sat on her bed with the laptop. "And I was thinking when we pick a song we should be the last to perform. I hate going and then someone goes after me and I wish I would've done something different...this will give us time to not change our mind." She glanced at him and noticed he was still looking around her room, "Sam?"

He shook out of his daydreaming to point to her bed, "I see you got the headboard fixed too."

"_Inappropriate_!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I'm not really good at this..." He frowned then his eyes lit up when he thought about something, "Ok let's make up a code word. Since we're doing this 'friends' thing...every time I bring up a memory that is too...uh..."

"Inappropriate?"

"Yeah that...too 'inappropriate' you say something like...you say...oh! I got it! You say 'Avatar'!"

Mercedes shot him a look, "Seriously, Sam? Avatar?" She smiled when he nodded, completely serious about this. "So I say Avatar and you lay off?"

"Yup." The blonde replied, "Sometimes I act before I think...it's a habit of mine and since we really didn't end on bad terms in my mind you're still mine so you have to keep reminding me that we're just friends for now."

She completely ignored that little feeling she felt in her heart when he called her his still and decided that she'd let the 'friends for now' thing go too and nodded. "Ok. Agreed." He smiled brightly before placing Jacob on the bed and sitting next to her. "So how about this one..." She stopped when both her and his phones went off. The both sighed and rolled their eyes before answering their cells.

"Santana, this better be important..."

"What's up, Artie?" They both listened to their friends chat on about something before they both agreed and hung up their phones. "Artie says we're all going to be meeting up at Mr. Schue's tonight...Sue has something she wants to discuss with us."

"Yeah I know...Santana told me that too...I'm kinda scared."

"It's Sue so it can't be good..." He stifled back a yawn before looking over at the laptop screen with droppy eyes. Mercedes noticed and took in his exhausted face, there were bags forming under his eyes. She's seen him like this a bunch of times over the summer when he would visit her after a long day of working and babysitting Stacey and Stevie.

"You look tired."

"I am." He replied, his eyes never leaving the screen as he looked at the song choices. It wasn't till he felt her hand on his shoulder that he looked at her. "I'm fine, Mercedes...it was just a long football practice. Not to mention Shane made sure to tackle me to the dirt every time he could." He chuckled humorlessly as she frowned. "It's ok...I'm use to it plus I kinda deserve it..."

Mercedes closed her laptop with a sigh and placed it on the spot next to her. "It takes two to tango, Sam. It wasn't just you who kissed me...I kissed you." He looked down at his hands. "And if Shane wants to take out his anger on you then I should get the same treatment. It's not like the blame is all on you..."

He made a face then looked back up at her, "Yeah but if he tackles you I'd have to kill him." She laughed. "He's upset. I get it. I'm upset too..."

"Avatar."

Sam's eyebrows furrowed, "Why? I'm not saying anything inappropriate..."

"Yes you are. You're bringing up those feelings. Feelings people who are just friends should not be talking about." She replied and watched as he released a little growl of frustration before running a hand through his hair. "You need to get some rest, Sam." She said seriously as she watched him look even more sore and tired. "Take a nap here."

The blonde smiled at her suggestion, remembering how every time he would visit her after work they would nap together on her bed. He was going to bring up those memories but thought against it since it wasn't friend appropriate plus he didn't want her changing her mind either since he really was tired. "Only if you take a nap too." He suggested, biting his bottom lip anxiously as he watched her think about it.

"Ok." She shrugged finally. "But you stay on your side and I stay on mine. It's going to be like a friendly nap...like the ones I take with Kurt!" Mercedes smiled at the memories of her and her best friend before Sam had to go and ruin it.

"But you and Kurt cuddle! That is so unfair!" He blurted out with an accusing look. "Friend favoritism! I'm calling you out on it!"

Mercedes rolled her eyes, "Yeah but Kurt and I didn't date..."

"Uh...yes...yes you did. Well sort of."

"He's gay so that doesn't count! Plus sleeping with Kurt didn't lead to my bed nearly breaking and me having to get a new headboard! Remember that?" He smiled sheepishly. "Ok!" She got up and went over to pick up Jacob before placing him in the middle of the bed with two huge pillows on each side of the doll. "There. We'll have him between us so this can be as innocent ever." She smiled at him but he did not look happy as he stared at what she did.

"Are you trying to build a fort between us?" He asked with a raised brow. "Those are like the hugest pillows I've ever seen in my life. I'm not going to take advantage of you while you're sleeping, Cedes. Even if I were going to I couldn't because I'm really exhausted." He reached over and grabbed the two pillows before tossing them onto the side of the room. "Jacob will be between us. Good enough?"

She blew out a breath but nodded anyways before walking around to the other side of the bed. "We'll have to make sure we walk up in time to make it to Mr. Schue's house so I'll set the alarm." Mercedes grabbed her alarm clock and began setting it before she saw Sam stripping out of the corner or her eye. "What do you think you're doing?" She asked, her voice rising in panic as the blonde took off his shirt.

His hands went to the button on his jeans before he stopped and looked at her with a confused look, "Getting undressed." He said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "You get to be in your sweats all comfortable but I can't sleep in my beater and boxers?"

Mercedes muttered something under her breath about him making this difficult but decided she'd let him sleep in that anyways. When he went to climb onto her bed she shot him one last warning look but he countered it with the most angelic smile ever. She wasn't fooled but she was too tired to have another argument with him. It wasn't till they were both under the blankets and when he kept 'accidentally' brushing his toes against her foot did she kick him receiving a chuckle.

"Goodnight to you too, Cedes."

"Night, Sam!"

* * *

><p>Mercedes was the first to open her eyes and look at the clock to see that they had about five minutes before it went off. Turning on her side she saw that Sam wasn't still sleeping like she thought he would be, but instead he stared intently at Jacob causing her to frown. "What's wrong?" She asked in a small whisper, her voice still groggy with sleepiness.<p>

His eyes snapped to hers before slowly putting a finger up to his mouth, "Shh...don't make much noise or movement." She frowned and was about to ask why before he continued, "Jacob's eyes are open."

Mercedes felt her heart begin to pound fast in her chest as her eyes widened. "What?" She blurted as Sam shushed her once again and crooked a finger at her, telling her to look but do it slowly just in case the doll decided to close its eyes again. She slowly rose on her elbows and leaned over till she saw past the blanket Jacob was wrapped in to peer at his face. And there it was, their doll's eyes. She released a breath she didn't even know she was holding as she examined them. Around the pupil was a a brownish color as it blended in with the most greenish color she's ever seen making her think of an emerald.

"Wow."

"I know." Sam nodded. "I wonder how long his eyes been open...I woke up and he was staring straight at me. I nearly had a panic attack but his eyes are so cool looking. So glassy with a beautiful color of green and brown... it's like he has Mako in them."

"Mako? What's Mako?"

Sam looked up at her like she was crazy, "_Mako_...you seriously don't know what Mako is?" He sighed. "Cloud from Final Fantasy 7 was poisoned with Mako which caused his eyes to glow and become like two colors at once..." He stopped when he noticed Mercedes looking even more confused. "It's a _game_, Cedes."

"You're a dork." She grinned. Her phone began ringing with the song that she had for Santana causing her to quickly grab it, "Yes, Santana?"

"Yo where are you and Trouty?"

"You said it was at 6..."

"Yeah but then we all decided to make it sooner since we wanted to go out to eat after...didn't you get my text?"

Mercedes mentally cursed as Sam gave her a confused look. "Sorry...Sam and I were suppose to be going over songs but we ended up sleeping together instead..." She quickly shut her mouth as she realized she just used a bad choice of words to Santana, but it was too late to take it back because she heard various voices on the other line scream '_what_?'. "Oh my god, Santana! Do you have me on speaker phone?" Before the Latina could reply someone else shouted into the phone.

"Yes she does and we just caught yo ass, Mercedes!" Artie exclaimed.

"Oh my god, Mercedes, you were suppose to be finding yourself! I knew I saw that sexual glint in your eyes the other day!" Tina cried out, hysterically. "I should've been there to cock block! I'm never letting you out of my sight again..."

"Tina, we didn't..."

"So you and Trouty where slapping skins? I should've knew something was up when Quinn said he was over your house."

"Wait...so you're not a virgin, Mercedes?" She heard Rachel ask. "I could have asked you for advice when I had that emergency glee girls meeting!"

"What are we talking about?" A confused Finn asked causing Mercedes to roll her eyes. He must've just entered the room or something.

"Sam and hot momma bumping uglies!"

"Puck!"

"You owe me ten dollars. I told you she wasn't no virgin."

"I really don't wanna hear this..."

"Since Sam and Mercedes are having sex does that mean that they will have a chocolate and vanilla swirl baby?" Brittany asked in the background. "That sounds so tasty."

"Hell yeah it does!"

"Guys!" Mercedes yelled into the phone causing Sam to stare at her some more, silently asking what was going on since he could see the distress all over her face. "Me and Sam were not having sex. We fell asleep!"

"Ooohh." She heard all her friends say in unison.

"Wait...in the same bed?" Mike asked causing Mercedes to face palm as everyone once again went on to put their own theories into what was happening right now.

"Mercedes, diva, I do hope that you slept in your footsie pajamas so Sam couldn't take advantage of you." Kurt spoke up.

"What was Sam wearing during this 'sleeping'?"

"Did you cuddle? Because when Santana and I cuddle it leads to hot and heavy lady kisses."

"Sam snores..."

"What does that have to do with anything, Finn?"

"I don't know I'm just thinking why would she wanna sleep next to him if he snores..."

"Because they were bumping uglies!"

"Good bye, guys! Sam and I will be there soon!" Mercedes exclaimed before quickly hanging up her phone to peer over at her partner, "Now I remember why we wanted to keep our relationship a secret from those people."

* * *

><p><em>AN: Next chapter we will be getting somewhere with Samcedes...in the mean time what other glee partners do you wanna read more of? _


	7. Chapter 7

**A/N: Kinda short and not much humor but the next chapter will have a bunch : )**

**Summary: Sue Sylvester forces the Glee club to get up on their parenting skills now that she's pregnant giving each of the kids a life like baby to take care of for a week. Samcedes. Sam/Mike/Puck friendship. Various Glee friendships.**

* * *

><p>Once Mercedes and Sam entered Mr. Schue's place the whole glee club turned to stare at them. Quinn gave her friend a warm smile; being the only one that knew that her two friends didn't do anything, while Sam blushed and ducked his head. Mercedes sighed then went to take a spot on the couch next to her soul sister who happily patted her on the shoulder. It wasn't till when Sam went to take the spot next to his partner did Tina practically jump from her spot to push the blonde onto the floor, giving him an unapologetic look as she placed herself in the spot next to Mercedes.<p>

"What the heck, Tina!" Sam exclaimed as he looked up at the Asian with dark green eyes, "You just tackled me onto the floor!" He watched as she completely ignored him and shot her attention to the girl on her right.

"Mercedes Jones!" She yelled causing her friend to stop looking at Sam and turn her attention to Tina. "What do you think you were doing! Sleeping with him? What did I tell you about that?" She watched Mercedes squirm under her dark gaze, obviously embarrassed that all eyes were now on her. "You _just_ got out of a relationship..."

"_Tina_," Quinn interrupted, seeing how Mercedes was about to die from horror and now Sam was redder than a tomato, "She did not do anything inappropriate with him. She says they fell asleep next to each other and I believe her. The rest of you need to get your minds out the gutter."

Santana snorted, "What makes you the expert on who and who hasn't boned?" The Latina eyed Mercedes, making the other girl feel even more uncomfortable before biting her full bottom lip in decision and cocking her head to the side. "Check her."

"_Check_ me?" The diva blurted out, finally being able to speak as her eyes darted from Santana to Tina. "What does 'check her' mean?" Before Santana could reply; Tina shot forward and began examining Mercedes' neck causing her to shrink back and yelp, "What are you doing? Get off me, Tina! You're being crazy!"

"Checking for love marks!" Tina exclaimed as she tried to examine her friend's struggling body. Quinn shot the Asian a look before wrapping her arms protectively over Mercedes' body and slapping the other girl's hands away. "Ok...her neck is all clear!" Tina announced, rubbing her now sore hand before glaring over at Quinn with a pout.

"This should not be turning me on..." Artie said as he stared over at the girls on the couch with his blue eyes wide and his jaw slacked. "Please, Tina...wrestle her some more..." He ignored the disgusted looks the girls gave him and the angry glare from Sam who was still on the floor.

"Man, you are such a pervert." Puck spoke up from the other side of the room. He looked over to Sam when a devious thought entered his mind. Honestly, Puck had a crush on Mercedes and wished they would've went farther than their one week of dating but he knew Sam was in love with her. And to be honest they were kind of perfect for each other. He shook his head at Artie before grinning over to his partner, "Hey, Tina...you should like check the rest of her body coz you know boys don't always leave hickeys just on the neck..."

"Good idea!" Before the Asian could grab the top of Mercedes' shirt and look down it; Mike and Sam quickly got up to grab her and pull her away while Quinn hugged Mercedes closer to her body. "I was just gonna see a little bit!"

"That's enough violating Mercedes for today, Tina!" Mike announced as he dragged his girlfriend across the room with him, letting Sam take the spot next to his partner. "Hey...where are Sue and Mr. Schue at? I feel like we've been waiting forever for this meeting to get started..."

Santana rolled her eyes before collapsing on Brittany's lap, "We have and I'm freaking _hungry_. If I have to wait any longer I am going to barge into his kitchen and eat his food." She thought about it for a minute before shuddering, "Then again this is Mr. Schue's and Miss Pillsbury's place...they probably only drink protein shakes and eat vegetables. I _wants_ some _breadsticks_."

"Yeah...and I have curfew." Artie replied before glancing at his watch with a frown, "Ugh...my mom is gonna freak if I'm late for dinner." That caused his partner to perk up and stare at him with an almost predatory stare, "W-what?" He asked, feeling uncomfortable. After her saving him from the hockey team he felt more close to Santana but sometimes she still scared him. Plus they still haven't told anyone about that little hallway incident.

She grinned, showing all her pearly whites, "My BD is having a family dinner tonight and didn't invite his baby momma?" Before he could say anything she held up her hand, "What's momma Abrams making...huh?" She watched him sigh in defeat.

"Fried chicken and macaroni..."

"I am so there!"

"Don't be rude, Santana. You can't just invite yourself over to dinner." Kurt spoke up. "I'm sure it's bad enough Artie is tortured with having you as his partner. Don't add insult to injury."

Before she could defend herself, Artie spoke up, "No it's cool. It'll be nice to have her over for dinner." That's when everyone's shocked expressions turned to him causing him to squirm. Now he knew how Mercedes felt earlier. "What? Santana's not a _bad_ person...Everyone thinks she is but she's not." He caught the Latina visibly soften at his words before giving him a sincere smirk.

"Hey...that's what I told you!" Brittany spoke up as she looked over at her ex boyfriend. "See...I knew you'd see the light, Artie. I'm so happy the two people I love are getting along! Wait till Mr. Tubbington finds out. He told me I was gonna have to make you have a dance off to see who wins!"

"That would have been unfair since Artie can't dance..." Mike spoke up in confusion. Of all things wrong with her sentence he chose that one to speak out on. Then again he was use to Brittany's randomness. "Anyways...where are..." Before he could finish, an angry Mr. Schue exited the kitchen with Sue on his tail.

They watched as their teacher sighed before glancing at a smug Sue, "Ms. Sylvester would like you to join her tomorrow for one of her Mommy and Me classes." He announced with no excitement at all. He looked like he was tired from having a huge argument with her before they entered the living room. "But I told her it is up to you guys...you don't have to do it..."

"I would like to." Rachel interrupted as she smiled over at Quinn, "Anything that'll make me bond more with my child before his baby bar mitzvah..." She turned to grin at Mr. Schue as Quinn's calm face went from shock to anger in less than one second. "Since Quinn so rudely thought she could go behind my back and think about having Richard baptized I've decided I'm going to give him a bar mitzvah though it's usually when the boy is 13...but I can change the rules around for this week."

The blonde snapped forward causing Mercedes to quickly grab her wrist and pull her back before she could strangle the brunette, "HOW DARE YOU, RACHEL!" She screamed as everyone but her partner stared at her in shock at her outburst. It's been awhile since they seen Quinn this angry. "You know I wanna baptize Richie! How can you just think you can go ahead and do this yet not take my feelings into consideration!"

"Now you know how I feel!" Rachel yelled back, her brown eyes holding the same intensity as Quinn's.

"Guys!" Sue yelled causing everyone to look at her. "Look save all that screaming crap for later because seriously your voices make me nauseous. I hate you all. Especially _you_, Santana, since I had to spend extra money on your Cheerios uniform to cover those fake funbags." Santana looked down in embarrassment as Quinn calmed down a little but the intensity in her eyes remained. "Now you will be coming to this mommy and me classes because I am so tired of Curly Schue and Beisteman yapping at me about how these dolls are taking over your lives. I don't care that you guys get no sleep. I don't care that Finnzilla was crying in the bathroom stall like a blubbering buffoon..."

Everyone shot Finn a look that caused him to blush, "Little Debbie was sick, ok?"

"This is not a choice. You are going to these classes. And Will Schuester will be attending too because he will be playing the part of the father to my unborn baby."

Mr. Schue's jaw dropped in shock, "I didn't promise that!"

"You don't have to, Will. I promised it for ya." She replied with a smile before hitting him on the shoulder, "Can't wait to see you all tomorrow! And if you guys do good at this then I have a special treat for you..."

Santana perked up, "Bread sticks?"

Sue grimaced, "Jesus no! What is it with you kids and that place? Do they put crack in their food? And I'm surprised you aren't over 300 pounds from all the bread you eat, Santana! You wonder why I put you at the bottom of the pyramid! I don't want your gigantic butt squishing my Cheerios! Now I will see you tomorrow! Bye!" Before anyone could protest she stomped out the door after sending Santana one last dirty look.

* * *

><p>Sam was watching everything go down wondering if he could be any more embarrassed or red. It was bad enough that their relationship was just thrown out there but now everyone was thinking they slept together...well they did a couple of times over the summer but Mercedes made sure to know that no one ever found out that she was not a virgin. He guessed it was something about the Glee curse...once you sleep with one of them you sleep with more. He really doubted that would happen though. Sure the glee guys had their little crushes on Mercedes but he knew they wouldn't act on it now that he was back. That's why he was sort of thankful Shane swooped in and dated her because if he would've came back and found her back with Puck...he shuddered at the thought. He loved all his glee friends but they were one big group of bed hoppers.<p>

A buzzing came from his pocket, causing Sam to break out of his thoughts and reach in his jeans to pull out his cell. It was an alarm going off reminding him that he had a skype date with his family in a few minutes. "Crap." He muttered, catching the attention of Mercedes who was trying to calm Quinn down.

"What's wrong?"

"I have to get back to the house...have a skype date with Stevie and Stacey..." He looked up to see an look on her face that made him ask, "Do...do you wanna come?" Her eyes brightened as she grinned. "I mean...if you're not busy..."

"I'd love to!" She exclaimed loudly causing their friends to send them glances before they began getting ready to leave Mr. Schue's place. She cleared her throat and lowered her voice, "I mean I haven't seen or spoken to them in forever...I miss them." Sam grinned widely. "But...I doubt they'd want me to interrupt their time with you...just tell them I said hi."

He frowned deeply at that, "They miss the crap out of you, Cedes. They ask about you everyday. And when I told them about our doll and what we had to do they nearly had a panic attack. Stacey is dying to see what Jacob looks like and Stevie; even though he thinks dolls are for little girls, has already dubbed himself Uncle of the week." Sam chuckled as Mercedes grinned, "To be honest I was going to drive back there this weekend and take Jacob with me..."

"By _yourself_?" His partner blurted with a look of anxiety. She knew Sam could handle a weekend with Jacob by himself but she was getting so attached to the doll she didn't think she could go two days without seeing him. The both of them. "I mean...can you take care of him for two days without help? He does get cranky when one of us ain't around..."

The blonde shrugged, "I was going to ask if you wanted to come with me..." He didn't look at her then. Too afraid of her reaction and the look she would give him when she said no. Last night when he told his parents he would be visiting them for the weekend all he could think about was bringing Mercedes with him but he knew he was friend zoned. It kinda sucked because if he were anyone else she wouldn't say no...

"Ok."

That caused his green eyes to look up at her in shock, "Really?" He asked incredulously as she shrugged and nodded.

"Why not? We're friends right? Plus if Jacob is gonna be with your family then I should be too." She smiled. "Should be fun!"

He was gonna reply with a 'just like old times', but that wouldn't be entirely true so instead he grinned and nodded, "So about this skype thing...you down? I gotta be at the house in like 30..."

Mercedes turned to look at Quinn who still hasn't stopped her death glare towards Rachel, her green eyes following the other girl's every move. "Quinn, you gonna be ok? I'm gonna be leaving with Sam in a minute." The blonde stopped to look over and give Mercedes a small smile, "I can stay with you if you want though..."

"I'm fine. Me and Rachel will talk when we get to her house."

"Please don't kill her. I really don't want to see them have some C-list actress play you in a horrible Lifetime movie." That earned a laugh from Quinn. "I mean it! I'll make them have Lindsay Lohan play you if you murder her!"

Quinn gasped, "You _wouldn't_!" She knew that Mercedes knew of her hate for that actress. Every time she was in the tabloids or appeared in a movie they were watching; the blonde would fume.

"Be good." Mercedes replied before giving her a quick kiss on the cheek, rising from the couch with Sam. "Text me later and let me know what happened." They were about to make their way to the door till they heard Tina's voice.

"Hey, Mercedes! Sam! Puck, Mike, Britt, and I are thinking about going to get something to eat since everyone else seems to have plans for dinner already...you guys down?" The Asian asked as she eyed the couple carefully. For someone who didn't sleep with her friend, Sam sure did look really guilty about something.

"No...we're gonna head back to the Hudmel's..."

"Really, man? Two times in one day? Didn't think you had it in you!" Puck exclaimed as he sent his friend a proud look. "He gets that from me!"

"Gets _what_ from you? He didn't learn anything from you...just because you whore around doesn't mean everyone gets it from you." Tina replied.

Kurt sighed as he patted the older teen on the back before shooting Sam a glance, "See you at home, Sam. Just ignore everyone. I know my Mercedes still has her v card!" He winked at his friend who then began to flush. "We're both waiting till after we win our Grammys and get married! Unlike Rachel who couldn't keep it in her pants."

"Hey! I'm in love! I trust Finn with my body fully!" Said girl exclaimed as she hugged her boyfriend who completely ignored her as he began wrapping Little Debbie in a blanket. "It's ok if you're in love..."

"Ok..we're leaving!" Mercedes exclaimed, not really wanting to have them start talking about sex again. She loved her friends, really she did, but there are just some things she just did not want ot discuss with them. Even her closest of friends.

Brittany frowned, "So...you're not coming with us to get Chinese food?" she asked causing Mike and Tina to look over at her. The blonde glanced over at the couple in confusion as they crossed their arms and sent her a dark look.

"We're getting _pizza_. What made you think we're getting Chinese?"

Puck gave the them a confused look before looking down at Brittany, "Wait...we're not getting Chinese?" He asked causing Mike to glare at him. "Me and Brittany just assumed..."

"Because we're Asian?" Tina interrupted, tapping her foot. "Well no. We're going to my place and we're getting pizza. Sorry to disappoint, guys!" Brittany and Puck frowned at that. "See ya later, Mercedes!" She glared at Sam, "Keep it in your pants, Mr. Evans!" Before he could reply; the foursome made their way out of Mr. Schue's place.

"I'm really offended right now." Sam said as him and Mercedes made their way out the door too. "You could've been the one taking advantage of me and yet they're all overprotective of you! What about me? You took my innocence too you know..."

His partner laughed before frowning and giving him a sincere look, "Sorry, Sammy, I guess people just don't like you as much as they do me!" She watched as he shot her an offended look before nodding in agreement. "I'm not quite sure how I feel about these Mommy and Me classes with Sue yet..."

Sam shuddered, "For once I actually feel bad for Mr. Schue..."

* * *

><p>Later that night, Mercedes called her mom to let her know she was at Kurt's house with Sam to video chat with his little siblings. Her mother knew the story of them being "just friends" but that didn't stop from the lecturing on keeping it in their pants and that to keep Sam's bedroom door open at all times just in case they both got into the "heat of the moment"...her mom's exact words. Mercedes rolled her eyes but agreed to do as she said and promised to be home before nine since it was a school night. After a long 15 minutes on her phone, she finally hung up and glanced over at Sam who gave her a half smile and brought his laptop to the bed next to Mercedes.<p>

"Ready?" He asked before sighing as he saw that his brother and sister were ready to chat with Mercedes. Once his partner nodded he clicked on it and the faces of Stevie and Stacey popped on screen causing the teens to immediately smile at their huge eyes filled with excitement, "Hey there guys-"

"MERCEDES!" The kids screamed in unison, causing Sam to wince as Mercedes waved back at the joyous little Evans. "Omigawd! I missed you sooo much! Why haven't you came to visit us? Rory came to visit us! I wanted YOU to visit us!" Stacey began rambling off as Stevie rolled his eyes before quickly slapping a hand over his sister's mouth to shut her up.

"Mercedes, are you and Sam talking again? Last time he told us you weren't allowed to talk..." The young blonde frowned causing the diva's face to drop as her and Sam exchanged looks.

"Sorry...I told them about what Miss Pillsbury made us do..."

Stacey slapped Stevie's hand away from her mouth before leaning in closer towards the web camera, her big green eyes and pouty pink lips in the screen, "That's stupid! You don't stop talking to someone you love, Sammy! That's so dumb! Like Peter Cameron would always hit me so you know what I did? I didn't hit him back or ignore him for a week! I _talked_ to him!" Sam and Mercedes gave her an impressed look as she backed away from the camera to shoot the couple a disapproving glare, "Talking is good! I found out Peter hit me coz he likes me and I told him 'Look, Peter...I don't like boys. They're icky and they smell bad!'..."

"Keep that in mind when you hit puberty." Sam interrupted as he quirked a brow at his little sister who rolled her eyes, "Look, Stevie and Stacey, Mercedes really wanted to see you guys but she had a boyfriend at the time and..."

"Who? _Shane_?"

"We don't mention that name _here_." Stevie spat angrily as if the name of Mercedes' ex was a bad word. "Sooo...where's Jacob?" He asked, his and Stacey's eyes brightening up at the mention of the doll. At first Stevie didn't care about Sam's project with Mercedes till he was told it was a boy and he'd get to be an uncle for a week. Not to mention when he found out Sam would be back for the weekend with Jacob, he went to his parents to bust out all his old baby clothes so he could dress him in them.

Mercedes carefully picked up Jacob from the bed before holding the doll up to the camera to give them a good look at him. "He's usually alseep...but when he's not it can be a little crazy." She said as they stared at the doll in awe. She held back a chuckle at their similar expressions; wide eyed and mouths open. "And I have some good news! I will be joining Sam back to Kentucky with Jacob!"

The scream that escaped Stacey's and Stevie's mouth caused Sam and Mercedes to jump and cover their ears. Both of them happy that it didn't cause Jacob to wake up and cry. So far he's been pretty good which was odd.

"_Omigawd_! You guys are back together! Wait till I tell mommy and daddy..."

"Uh...Stacey, we're not...we're not back together." Sam replied before she could run off and tell his parents. He sighed at his brother and sister's hurt expressions before glancing over at Mercedes who looked completely distraught at hurting their feelings, "You guys are too young to understand but when you're older you will. Mercedes and I need time to think this out because we weren't thinking straight when she had a boyfriend..."

"But she doesn't _now_!" Stevie yelled, "It's not fair, Sammy! We were suppose to be a family by now! You promised things wouldn't change! You said it'll be back to normal when you went back to Ohio! You _promised_!"

Mercedes paled as she listened to Sam's little brother. His face held anger and desperation; identical to Sam's on Valentine's Day, and she once again felt her heart break and tears come to her eyes. Not only had she hurt Sam and Shane, but she hurt Stevie and Stacey. Sweet and innocent Stacey and Stevie who she would always read to and play with, who she promised to become their sister in law. Back when they had that great Summer together...

"Stevie, _stop_." Sam said, noticing Mercedes' watering eyes. He did promise them that he was going to be back with Mercedes when he went back to McKinley but sometimes things don't work out as they are planned. Not wanting to make anyone cry he sighed and ran a hand through his hair, "We'll talk about this later ok?" He tried to give his little brother a soothing smile but it didn't work.

"You guys are doing this all wrong." Stacey spoke up finally. Her green eyes held an emotion that Sam has never seen in them before she shook her head vigorously, "This is not how it's suppose to be! When you love someone you be with them! It don't matter what else is going on! The Prince and Princess end up together!" Sam opened his mouth to say something but stopped when his sister began to go on, her voice getting higher and angrier, "The villian, the other meanie trying to keep them apart...the _apple_! They always end up together because they love each other. And when you love each other you don't just stop...you be together forever and live happily ever after! Disney says this all the times!"

"Stacey, we're not Disney characters..."

"But you think about her all the time! When we left you cried! You said she was always on your mind but when you have her sitting right next to you," She pointed at Mercedes who squirmed under her intense gaze, "You do nothing just because one bump in the road? Keep on swimming!"

Mercedes smiled sadly, "It's not that simple." She watched as Stacey growled and pounded her little fist on the desk causing Stevie to jump. "Please don't be mad at me, Stacey. I'm trying...we both are. But I just need time..."

The young blonde took her words into consideration, the anger fading a little as she sighed. "Fine...but you'll be here this weekend?"

"Yes, ma'am." She seemed satisfied with that answer. "And we'll do all the things we use to. I promise. It won't be different. We're still friends!" She wrapped an arm around Sam who tensed for a moment before giving Mercedes a confused look, "See!" Stevie and Stacey did not look convinced. "I'll see you guys this weekend...I gotta get home and we have a big day tomorrow with these Mommy and Me classes..."

"Bye, Sammy! Bye, Mercedes!" The kids said in unison before blowing them a kiss and getting off the computer.

Sam let go of the breath he was holding and closed his laptop before glancing over at his partner who still seemed a little upset. "Sorry about that...that went kinda bad." He chuckled dryly before running a hand through his hair. "They just don't understand things like this. My parents taught us to be hopeless romantics as you can tell."

She smiled sadly and nodded, "They raised you all well."

"After the whole Quinn and Santana thing...they were really happy I found you..." He explained, his eyes trained on the floor because he knew looking at her would make this difficult. "You made me happy. They loved seeing me with someone who actually appreciated them and they said that me and you would be like my parents and get married...live happily ever after. I guess Disney movie nights with Stacey was a bad idea, huh?"

When Mercedes didn't reply, he looked up at her to see her lost in thought with a frown still on her face. Maybe it was a bad idea to have her come with him back to Kentucky for the weekend if this was how his brother and sister were going to react. The last thing they needed was to be lectured some more by little kids.

"I just got schooled in love by a seven year old." Mercedes spoke up finally. A small smile appeared on her face as she looked over to Sam who was gazing at her with an unreadable expression, "She made a good point though...I think we should-" Before she could finish her cell began ringing with a call from Quinn causing her to frown again. 'I gotta take this...and I should be heading back home...see you tomorrow?" Sam nodded, wanting to say something else but stopped when she got up to answer her phone before packing up Jacob's things.

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><p><strong>AN: Brittany/Mike and Tina/Puck got a tie so next chapter will have a scene frm them in it. Also Mommy and Me classes with Sue : P**


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary: Sue Sylvester forces the Glee club to get up on their parenting skills now that she's pregnant giving each of the kids a life like baby to take care of for a week. Samcedes. Sam/Mike/Puck friendship. Various Glee friendships.**

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><p>The next day in Glee club Mr. Schue noticed a lot more tension within the kids than he ever did before. Rachel and Quinn still weren't speaking to each other but sat beside one another for the sake of Richie; there seemed something wrong with Sam and Mercedes. He frowned. The only people that seemed fine was the couples he expected to not get along at all. He glanced over at Santana to see her happily chatting with Artie about something while he laughed and nodded to everything she said; Rory and Kurt were looking through a magazine as Kurt tried to get the Irish boy up on the latest celeb gossip, even Puck and Tina seemed happy as they cheered on Brittany and Mike who was dancing while passing Joy from one embrace to another. Finn actually looked energized and happy as he fed Little Debbie and Blaine was trying to teach Sugar to talk in a "mommy voice because high screechy eagle howls scares babies"...his words exactly.<p>

"So I see some of you are getting the hang of this. I'm really proud of how far some of you guys have come! Especially you, Finn!" The teen grinned at Mr. Schue's praise. "While others seem to be...uh...Quinn and Rachel...are you guys ok?" He noticed how the blonde kept shooting daggers at her partner every time the brunette would lean over and coo at the doll in her arms. He knew the two girls had a bad history but it seemed this past year they were actually becoming good friends. After Quinn's outburst last night, he guessed he was wrong.

Rachel stood abruptly before turning to the class with her hands intertwined in front of her, "Quinn and I are getting a divorce." Everyone stopped what they were doing and gasped in horror at her. "I know...I know...I, for one, do not believe in divorce...being raised by two amazing parents, but after last night me and Quinn came to this conclusion..."

"_Why_?" Tina cried out, her eyes starting to water as she stared at the two girls while she held onto Johnny tightly. "Can't you work this out? For Richie?"

"There's gonna be like separate holidays and shit...court dates! Baby momma drama! Custody battles!" Puck yelled, "You don't want a broken family, girls! The kid could turn out horrible...like me and Santana!"

The Latina shot him a sharp look before rolling her eyes and looking back at Rachel and Quinn, "Puck is right. Maybe you should try like counseling or something." She shrugged, "Isn't that what you rich white people do?"

"Aren't you guys staying together? Won't that be awkward?" Blaine asked as he tilted his head to the side and thought about it. "And you have to split everything!"

"_Ugh_, as if I'd let my partner go off with half my stuff." Sugar spoke up with a disgusted look, "Plus that leaves one of you with the baby while the other is free to run around and hook up with someone else. Then you'll end up on Maury...or Jerry Springer!"

"Lord Tubbington can counsel you guys. He helped me stop picking out of the trash."

"You guys _aren't_ married!" Mr. Schue shouted, causing everyone to stop and look at him. He gave them all an incredulous look as he realized that they were all actually serious about what was going on right now. They only had the dolls for a couple of days! Why did they all of a sudden think this was all real?

Finn shot him an offended look, "Whoa, dude, what's with the attitude? You have babies present. That is not cool, Mr. Schue." He said as everyone nodded in agreement. "You know I'm starting to think Sue has a good idea about making you go to these Mommy and Me classes because you will suck as a parent."

"Yeah...you pretty much already suck as a teacher." Mercedes spoke up and shrugged unapologetically when Mr. Schue got a hurt expression on his face. "I'm sorry but it's true. You are not the best adult role model, Mr. Schue. Why do you think Sam and I kept our relationship a secret from you too? You would've tried to turn us into the next _Finchel_...and everyone knows how your last marriage went when _you_ married your high school sweetheart."

"Ok...that's enough, Mercedes..."

"She has a point." Sam said before glancing over at his partner. "Sue's trying to teach us a lesson when in all honesty she should've gave you a doll too. Then maybe you'd learn a little compassion..."

"I have compassion!"

"You tried to seduce a married woman." Quinn pointed out before crossing her arms and giving him a look. "Anyways what Rachel means and we will not be staying together anymore and that Richie will be with me the remainder of the project..."

"I never said that!" The brunette yelled as she turned to glare at Quinn, "I said he would be with me! Richard is staying with me and he will be..." She stopped when her dark eyes noticed a familiar figure walking into the doorway causing her jaw to drop. "_You_!"

Joe Hart stopped in his tracks when he heard Rachel's screech and noticed her murderous look. The teen gulped audibly before taking a step back as she advanced towards him, "Uh...hi?" He was met with a sharp poke to his chest from her, wincing in pain when she continued to jab him with her finger.

"Who do you think you are coming to _my_ glee club?" She poked him again. "This is all your fault, Hippie boy!" Before she could touch him again a slender hand wrapped around her wrist and pulled her back before Quinn placed herself between the two.

"Ok first off this is not _your_ glee club...you don't own us..."

"Preach!" Artie yelled and Santana smirked and nodded.

"Secondly, don't poke him. I invited him here to join us because I like him and I think he'd be a great addition to the glee club." Quinn finished as Sam and Mercedes smiled and got up to make their way over to their God Squad friends, embracing Joe in a huge group hug while Rachel glared angrily.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Mercedes asked happily as she looked over at her friend, "This is so great, Joe! You have an amazing voice!"

"Yeah, dude! We could've had a God Squad celebration! Welcome to the club!" Sam said, patting the taller teen on the back. The rest of the club got up to greet him and introduce him to their dolls while Rachel watched them with an appalled look.

Everyone was finally settling down when Quinn dropped a bomb on them, "And I want him to be my partner for the remainder of the week."

"WHAT!"

Sam quickly grabbed Rachel before she could attack Joe but he still fell to the floor causing everyone else to watch him in confusion while Finn and Puck tried to calm the small girl down.

"Don't worry. He's just praying." Quinn explained causing everyone to nod in realization. "He did that a bunch when I asked him to be the new parent to Richie. He feels like he's doing something unholy by coming between me and Rachel..."

"HE IS! AND YOU ARE NOT TAKING RICHARD FROM ME, QUINN!"

"_Crap_! She bit me!" Sam yelled as Rachel broke from his embrace only to be grabbed by Mike. "I think I'm bleeding!" He looked over to Mercedes who was checking his hand for any serious damage. He watched as she rolled her eyes at the absence of blood but placed a quick kiss to his hand to make it feel better causing him to smile. But they had to break out their moment as all Hell began to break lose in the glee club.

Joe remained praying for forgiveness on the floor while the Cheerios held Quinn back and Rory held Richie out out the line of fire. Everyone was amazed over the amount of fight the two small girls had in them as they both tried to attack each other while throwing out 'How could you's' and 'I hate you some much right nows'. It wasn't until Mr. Schue psychically put himself between them did the two girls somewhat calm down put the angry words were still thrown. Once they heard a familiar small cry they went silent and looked over at Rory with ashamed expressions. Their doll began crying in the Irish boy's arms and he gave them a look that said 'It wasn't me' before Quinn and Rachel went over to him to take Richie.

"Back away! This is all your fault!" Quinn snapped as she reached Richie first. She shot Rachel a dark look but the brunette ignored her as she tried to sing to the doll to get it to stop singing. "Stop it with the singing, Rachel! He's crying because you kept screaming like a wild banshee!"

"_Me_? I wasn't the one screaming inappropriate words! Words that should not be said around _my_ child!"

"He's _mine_!"

"That's enough!" Mr. Schue yelled, on the verge of having a mental breakdown because all his kids have gone loony. "Quinn and Rachel, go see Miss Pillsbury and settle your problems now! I won't allow anymore of this Faberry angst in my class!" His anger went away when he noticed the weird looks all the kids were giving him, "What? They're called Faberry...right?" He shook his head, "It doesn't matter! Just go see her. And let's get class started because Puck has a song he wants to perform." Without another word the two girls and their doll left the room causing Mr. Schue to sigh in relief that there was finally going to be some peace for awhile. He couldn't wait till this week was up...

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><p>"What are you doing?" Tina whispered harshly as she followed Puck to the front of the class, "We haven't agreed on a song yet!" She watched as her partner went over and whispered something to the band before turning to her with a smile that she's seen many times before. She frowned, "What are you up to, Puck?"<p>

His smile brightened as he pulled up a chair for her, "Just sit here and hold Johnny. I heard this song the other day and thought it would be a bad ass song to sing to you..." At the words 'bad' and 'ass' he could see Tina pale and plop herself in the seat with Johnny in her arms. He didn't know why she was so scared. He's sung plenty of songs to some of the girls in glee and with the exception of 'Fat Bottomed Girls' that he sang to Lauren...he think he did a pretty good thing!

Tina shot Mike a wary look to find him chatting happily with Brittany as he held a small unicorn stuffed animal. She shrugged and looked back at Puck; Mike didn't seem to mind that his friend was singing a song to her. That's what she loved about him, he wasn't the huge jealous type. They had a trusting relationship and he wouldn't go crazy like some boyfriends would. She grinned at Puck as the music started up...

_Puckerman, baby..._

_I just wanna get your attention_

_I really wanna be all up in your head_

_Cause what I got you're gonna wanna get some yeah  
>But girl that's only if you ain't scared<em>

Tina's face dropped as she realized the song that Puck had selected to sing for her and Johnny. Was he _insane_? She quickly glanced around the room to see the look of her friends and they were thinking the exact same thing as her, but when her gaze stopped on Mike she froze. The unicorn toy he had been holding in his hand was now clutched in his fist as his eyes stared at his friend in anger. He was frowning deeply and his jaw clenched as he tried to control that oncoming emotion that Tina thought he never felt.

_And I won't knock or ring no bells  
>You just poke that bottom up in the air<br>I'll get you hot, I know you oh so well  
>And when I walk in, all that I wanna hear<em>

_Is you say Daddy's home, Daddy's home for me  
>And I know you've been waiting for this lovin all day<br>You know your daddy's home (daddy's home), and it's time to play (so it's time to play)  
>So you ain't got to give my loving away<br>So all my ladies say hey hey hey daddy  
>Hey hey hey daddy<br>So all my ladies say hey hey hey daddy  
>Hey hey hey daddy<em>

Mike had had enough and soon he was shooting from his chair to try and attack Puck but was quickly intercepted by Sam who once again had to hold someone back. "Not cool, Puck!" The Asian yelled as he struggled against his friend's hold, "You are not singing that song to my girlfriend!"

"Mike, calm down-"

"What the hell, dude, you just interrupted my song!" Puck replied, oblivious to the reason why Mike was mad at him. _Hey Daddy _by Usher was a bomb ass song! Plus it's called _Hey Daddy _so it obvious goes with the theme for that week. He quickly jumped back when Mike tried to rush at him again but this time Blaine and Rory had gotten up to help Sam hold him back.

"You think you should be singing something like that to _my_ girlfriend?"

"Calm down, Mike, you are overreacting..." Tina spoke up but suddenly stopped when she saw the angry look on her boyfriend's face turn on her. "It's just a song..."

"Oh lord!" Mercedes sighed as she face-palmed at her friend's choice of words. Could this day get any worse? Everyone was on the verge of killing each other! She tried to shoot her friend a look that said 'stop right there, don't say anything else!' but Tina was too busy giving Mike a challenging look.

"_Just_ a song?" Mike asked incredulously, his voice rising higher and higher. "Ok! Fine! We'll see! Brittany!" He turned to look at his partner who seemed oblivious to the fight that was going on as she giggled and played with the unicorn toy Mike abandoned and Joy. "Come here! I got my very own Usher song for you!"

"Dude, _don't_!" Sam said as Mike broke out of his hold. He watched his friend with pleading eyes but Mike was a man on a mission right now and was letting his anger control his actions. This was not going to end well. He glanced at Mercedes to find her staring at Tina knowing exactly how this was going to end. This was going to be a long day. He ran a hand through his blonde hair and sat down as Mike and Brittany made their way to the front of the room.

Puck was still angry about being interrupted and Tina was shooting Mike dagger's, _daring_ him to do something stupid. She watched her boyfriend go tell the band something while Brittany stood in the middle of the room blowing Santana a kiss happily before turning to Mike as the music for the song he was about to sing to her and Joy started up.

_There goes my baby(oo girl look at you) You don't know how good it feels to call you my girl_

_There goes my baby, loving everything you do ooh girl look at you_

Mike sang as he pointed to Joy and threw in his best Usher moves. Brittany squealed happily as she watched her partner and looked over to see Santana being the only one smiling back. Everyone else in the room went dead quiet like they were waiting for a bomb to explode. She shrugged and turned back to look at Mike who continued his song:

_Bet you ain't know that I be checking you out when you be putting your heels on._

_I swear your body's so perfect baby how you work it baby yea_

He didn't get to finish because Tina was on her feet and in his face with a really red face as tears brimmed her eyes, "I cannot believe you would disrespect me like that, Michael Chang, you jerk!" She cried out as the music stopped playing and everyone once again waited for a fight to break out.

Brittany stood there in confusion, having no clue why everyone was so mad. Santana quickly got up and grabbed her girlfriend's hand before kissing her on the lips and promising she would explain everything to her later but right now they had to watch the showdown between the Changs.

"It's just a _song_!" Mike replied sarcastically, suddenly feeling bad when he noticed the tears rimming his sensitive girlfriend's eyes. "Don't...don't you dare start crying...you know I hate seeing you cry! I have a right to be mad!" He looked over at Finn and Sam to confirm that he was right but the two boys remained silent. He was alone on this one.

"I am sooo out of here!" Tina sobbed before burying her head in her hands as she ran out the door.

Puck held Johnny as he gave Mike a dark glare, "Nice move, jack ass. You not only made your girlfriend cry but you made my baby momma number two run out of here like a crazy woman!" Mike suddenly felt embarrassed about his childish reaction. "Now who is gonna watch Johnny when I go hustle the chess club, huh?" Before he could finish; Tina ran back in the room and grabbed Johnny from him before running back out, still crying. "What the hell, Tina! Just because you're mad at Mike don't mean you can take my baby!"

"That's it...class dismissed!" Mr. Schue announced, not being able to take any more drama for the rest of that day. The glee club has filled it's quota! But Sugar stopped him before he could walk out the room.

"Um, what should we do about Teen Jesus?" She asked while pointing to Joe who was still on the floor praying. Everyone looked at him again, forgetting he was still in the room.

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><p>Mercedes was tired. Two of her closest friends were having problems with their partner and now all of glee club was on their way to these dumb Mommy and Me classes with Sue. The last thing she wanted was everyone breaking out into fights because she has heard enough screaming that her poor ears could handle. And that's saying a lot because the gospel choir at her church got loud! So the fights with the mixture of Jacob acting up once again was having her wish she could be deaf for the rest of the day.<p>

She pulled up to the place and saw Sam standing outside the building, waiting for her. He quickly rushed over to her when he spotted her getting out her car and helped with the things she needed to carry in. She shot him an appreciative smile, "Everyone here already?"

"Yeah...well not Rachel and Quinn. They still have to work out their problems." He sighed, "I heard it was another war zone in Miss Pillsbury's office. I hope those girls can get along once again. Oh and Joe is suppose to meet up with them...I don't know if that's a good thing or not."

"Poor Joseph." Mercedes replied. That boy had no idea about the history behind Quinn and Rachel. She smiled as Sam held the door open for her and walked into the building to see everyone already situated. Her gaze went over to Tina who still seemed pissed about what happened earlier and saw Mike shooting apologetic glances at his girlfriend as he sat on the floor next to Brittany. She was about to greet everyone till Finn walked in and the real pregnant ladies in the class nearly peed themselves as they struggled to get up and wobble their way to the tall teen.

"Finn!" The all exclaimed as Finn walked in with his carrier and baby bag. The fathers of the womens' babies stood back and rolled their eyes as their significant others fawned over him. From the looks of it, this happens a lot.

"Ladies!" Finn exclaimed, placing Little Debbie's carrier down before opening his arms wide enough to engulf all the pregnant women into a huge hug. The rest of the glee club watched in confusion as he complimented them, "Brenda! Looking ravishing, aren't we? You are about to burst any day now! Oh my god, Patty...you are glowing! How are the kids? Melissa, that book you suggested was awesome! I read it to Little Debbie every night!"

"You know these ladies?" Santana asked, her eyes darting from him to the women. "How many times do you come to these classes, pudgster?"

"When you hug them does breast milk squirt out?" Puck asked with wide eyes.

"You guys must be Santana and Puck." One of the pregnant women said as she looked over at them. "Finn talks about his friends from glee all the time! You're the mean Latina that always talks about his body and took his virginity but now you're a lesbian and deeply in love with a girl named Brittany-"

"Jesus, Blubber! Did you tell them my life story?"

"And that must be her!" The lady finished, pointing to Brittany who had Joy in her arms as she tried to introduce her to the other dolls that the class used as practice. "And let's see if I can guess the rest..Artie, I can tell by the wheelchair," Artie shrugged. It shouldn't be hard to point him out. "Tina, Mike, Kurt...his stepbrother right? I love the stories about you. You are a brave young man!" Kurt blushed. "Blaine...I can tell because Finn said you're about the same height as a Keebler Elf." Blaine shot Finn an angry look. "Sugar," She pointed to the her causing the girl to grin and flip her hair back like she was some celebrity. "Sam...and Mercedes!" The woman finally turned to look at the other couple, "The non couple that still loves each other but won't get back together because she's afraid?"

"Finn!" Sam and Mercedes said in unison as they glared over at him. It was bad enough they got this from the people in glee now all these pregnant women knew their business too.

He shrugged, "Don't look at me. I didn't tell her all that! All I said was Sam cried after you sang '_And I Will Always Love You_'! And that was the second time I've seen him cry...after losing his house you know. Oh and that you guys keep having all this eye sex that you think no one sees but I see it. Oh and let's not mention that picture that Sam keeps under his pillow..."

"Finn!" Sam exclaimed, turning red as he hit the older boy in the arm, "What the hell! I told you to stay out my room! How did you even find that picture?"

"Um..what picture?" Mercedes asked curiously as she watched Finn avoid her gaze all of a sudden, but they ignored her.

"I needed more diapers for Little Debbie so I searched your room. Sorry, dude...it kinda...came out at me." He glanced over to Mercedes then blushed, "You looked really pretty, Mercedes."

"_What_ picture?"

"No one else was suppose to see that! That is not for public viewing!" Sam continued to scold Finn as Sue walked in with a young looking woman with long legs and long blond hair causing all the men; excluding Sam, to stop and stare at her. "Am I gonna have to have Burt put a lock on my door? Why are you not listening to me?" He snapped his fingers in Finn's face till he saw who everyone was looking at. She looked a little older than the glee club but she was still young nonetheless. The females in the class shot her dirty looks already as she grinned widely at the guys.

"This is Lisa. She's Harriet's niece and will be substituting for her today." Sue spoke up, "Her eyes are up here, ya pervs! Now stop gawking and get on your mats you hormonal baby-making machines!" They began to do as she said so Sue turned around to give the girl a smirk before placing some money in her hand, "The blonde boy is Sam. Go for it, sweet cheeks. I need to get this thing on and popping if I want what I have planned to work, you hear me? So put your fake boobs to work!" The girl smiled and nodded before making her way over to them. Sue had a plan, and what Sue wanted Sue got.

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><p><strong>AN: I had to hurry and update cuz Ive been very busy. Esp for the rest of the weekend since I will be taking a 2 yr old to a party at the zoo...! Anyways I had to have some Tike angst, Im sorry but I hate them being so perfect all the time! Oh and finally got Joe Hart to join glee. Anyways...Samcedes up next as usual! Yay they get alone time ; ) Thanks to everyone who fav, alerted, and reviewed!**


	9. Chapter 9

_A/N: I just wanna point out how happy I am that the actors that play the characters I put as partners in my story are close friends. Naya/Kevin, Lea/Diana, Harry/Heather...hell I even seen a pic of Damian and Chris! All I need is one of Mark and Jenna. That would be bad ass lol._**  
><strong>

**Summary: Sue Sylvester forces the Glee club to get up on their parenting skills now that she's pregnant giving each of the kids a life like baby to take care of for a week. Samcedes. Sam/Mike/Puck friendship. Various Glee friendships.**

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><p>Everyone sat Indian style on the floor with their partners next to them, awaiting their teacher's instructions. Most of the guys continued to smile stupidly at her as their partners dared the young woman to attempt anything that was inappropriate; but the way she was grinning and literally licking her lips in Sam's direction everyone knew it was only a matter of time before something bad happened. The pregnant women all had their fake babies ready while Finn took matters in his own hands because he was too impatient to wait for Lisa to start the class. He practically lived in that class after school. He didn't need some new teacher telling him how to take care of <em>his<em> baby.

"Yo, Mercedes!" Mercedes looked over to Santana who was casting glances over at Sam and Lisa, who was now directly behind him. "You ok with ole girl being all over Trouty? Like can she be any more obvious? That is really disrespectful!" She watched as her friend rolled her eyes, "Oh play it off all you want but I know you still want to be on those guppy lips!"

"Pay attention to the class and not what you think the teacher is doing, Santana..." The Latina snorted before turning her attention back to Artie and their doll. Mercedes glanced over at Sam who seemed a little bit uncomfortable at how Lisa was now leaning on him as she told him something in his ear. Inside she was fuming but she tried to keep a cool exterior. From the knowing looks her friends kept casting her she knew she was failing miserably. "Can we start the _damn_ class already?" She blurted finally when she had enough of the lady rubbing Sam's shoulder, causing him and everyone in the room to look at her in shock.

"Watch that filthy mouth of yours, Mercedes!" Finn replied with an appalled look that everyone was sure he learned from Rachel. He held onto Little Debbie as if the word 'damn' would be embedded in its brain forever and cause the doll harm. She shot him a look before rolling her eyes. She was really starting to miss the old clumsy Finn who had no idea what to do with a baby. He was becoming way too attached and overprotective.

"She's right though!" Sue spoke up as she glanced over at a nervous Will who held a curly haired doll. "William here looks like he wants to pass out. I guess I should've had his fiancee come with me...seeing as she must have the testicles in the relationship." The glare he shot her didn't phase her at all. "Get to it!" She snapped causing Lisa to roll her eyes and get in the middle of the circle.

"I would like to start with the _fathers_," The females in the room released a groan that she chose to ignore as her eyes darted over to Sam, "I need a volunteer..."

"ME!" Brittany and the rest of the guys but Sam, Blaine, and Kurt squealed as they practically jumped off the floor.

Before the blonde cheerleader could get up she was quickly pulled back by Mike who whispered, "Um, Britt, I am the father here." He watched as she gave him a confused look before shrugging.

"I thought I was going to be the daddy now because earlier you kept crying and complaining about Tina having your balls..."

Mike turned red as his girlfriend shot him a look from across the room. It was true though. Earlier he had cried to Brittany about how much he hated seeing Tina cry and that he was sorry for being a dumb ass and it was just 'Puck being Puck'. Then he got angry about how she could be so inconsiderate about his feelings and pick Puck's side...yet he felt horrible even if they both were in the wrong. He was so whipped and went on to say how maybe one day he can finally get his balls and manhood back from Tina because she was turning him into a sap.

"Sam?" Lisa asked, quirking a dark brow over at the blonde who remained next to Mercedes. "Would you be so kind to..."

"He's comfortable where he is. Thanks though." Mercedes interrupted with an edge to her voice as she sent an icy glare in the woman's direction. Who did she think she was? Wasn't she a little too old to be trying to get with a high school boy? Her friends sent her knowing looks but she ignored them; but the intense gaze Sam was sending her she couldn't. She refused to look over at him because she already knew what he was thinking...she was _not_ jealous!

"I asked Sam." Lisa replied back tightly.

"Look,_ hard boobs_, my girl here said leave her man alone-"

"He's not my man!"

"And I suggest you leave him alone!" Santana finished, ignoring Mercedes. "Now pick any of those other volunteers. There's no reason for you to need Sam specifically...well unless you need him to carry the baby in his mouth but other than that the other _willing_ participants will do."

"Santana, be nice!" Mr. Schue spoke up but got nothing but a roll of the eyes and a wave of the hand from the Latina. "I can volunteer if you like..." He suggested as he realized that Lisa was going to start more drama in the glee club if she chose any other guy.

"Jesus, Will, you're going to be getting married soon! Stop trying to stick that desperate popsicle in things!" Sue said as she shot a glare over at him, "Lady lips will do it. Seeing on how almost every other guy looks like they're ready to blow a load in their little boy trousers already. No wonder you ladies are pregnant. They couldn't last a second could they?"

Mercedes gave Sue an incredulous look as Sam reluctantly tore his gaze away from her to get up and walk over to Lisa. "B-but, Ms. Sylvester!" She stammered as she watched her partner stand next to the woman that Mercedes was pretty sure she would be strangling later. "Have Blaine do it! Or Kurt!"

"But _I'm_ the daddy!" Rory replied with a hint of sadness, "I can do it!" Before he could stand, Kurt grabbed him by the hand and pulled him back on the floor.

"No you can't. Your palms are already sweaty." He said causing Rory to stare at his hands in confusion. Kurt looked over at his boyfriend, "I don't mind Blaine doing it." He shrugged as he winked at Mercedes knowing that this Lisa woman had an eye on his best friend's not boyfriend. Kurt waited way too long for them to get back on good terms for some bimbo to just mess it up. Which brought him to think...why was she so focused on Sam? Yes the blonde was really good looking but so were the others in the club. Something seemed fishy.

Blaine smiled and began to get up till he felt Sugar grab his wrist. He glanced down at her, "What?" he asked when he noticed her eyes were looking at what he was cradling in his arms.

"Um, leave Queen!" She pointed out and went forward to grab their doll but Blaine was quick to back away and give her a look, "I am the mother and you're volunteering!" Sugar exclaimed but Blaine once again refused her. His light brown eyes darted to Sugar than Queen and back again before he turned to give Kurt an apologetic look and sat back down.

"Sorry can't do it. My daughter needs me."

"_Blaine_!"

"Heh...I feel sorry for you guys when you have a kid together." Rory chuckled with a shake of his head, "You both are way too overprotective."

Lisa smiled and placed a hand on Sam's shoulder. "The mothers will be practicing breast feeding. It's important you learn how to hold the baby while it suckles your breast..." There was a snicker from Puck followed by Tina hitting his arm to shut him up. "While the men will learn about all the comforting places to..." Her eyes trailed up and down Sam's body causing him to shrink back in fear, "Rub."

"Oh hell yeah!" Artie shouted with a raise of his fist, "I knew there way a reason I got up this morning! Well other than having to clean that mess Jackson made all over my wheelchair..." He glanced over at Santana with a sheepish grin before going to reach out for her but was rewarded with a slap of the hand and a wave of her finger.

"Nuh uh, BD! These," She pointed to her boobs, "Are property of Brittany now. Nice try though." Her girlfriend let out a silent 'yes' and victorious fist pump. Her eyes went over to Mercedes who was still looking over at Sam and Lisa as the other woman went to grab his hands and try to place them on her flat stomach.

"Oh hell to the no!"

Sam quickly turned to see Mercedes making her way towards them. He has saw that look plenty of times to know that Lisa was about to get a verbal beat down but for some reason he could not stop smirking. Maybe it was because since this whole thing began it was always him being the jealous one. Jealous of seeing her with Shane, jealous of not being able to be with her. Oh how the tables have turned.

He was pulled out his thoughts as her hand closed around his bicep and he was pulled behind her. He looked down at his ex's short body to see she was now all in Lisa's face with a look of annoyance spread all over her pretty features. "Look you non slick hussy!" Finn gasped at Mercedes' cruel language but she ignored him once again. "I do not appreciate you trying to throw your hot and ready desperate booty at _my_ boyfriend!"

"Hot damn!" Artie exclaimed as Santana snickered. The couple pounded fists and watched Mercedes in amusement while everyone else gaped at her outburst and held their hands around their dolls' ears.

"This is too epic. I need to record this!" Santana said as she pulled out her phone and filmed Mercedes words and Lisa's reactions to them.

"I thought this was a Mommy and Me class! Not a potty mouth convention!" Finn exclaimed which caused him to get a hit to the arm from Tina, "Ouch, Tina! That hurts! No wonder Puck has so many bruises! Vicious!"

Mercedes, who didn't even notice that she now had an audience, continued to yell at Lisa, "And don't think I don't know what you're trying to do! How about you take your butt to the nursing home and get yourself a sugar daddy on his deathbed because that's the _only_ way you will be getting anything you home wrecking ho!" Sam tried to hold back his laughter but failed miserably. He was getting too much joy out of this and knew he needed to calm down his partner quick.

"Mercedes, baby, calm down!" He began rubbing the sides of her arms and felt her soften at his gesture but the anger she felt was not going away. He tried remain calm at the fact that she called him her boyfriend and man but they'd discuss that later.

Sue stopped Mr. Schue when he tried to get up and break up the fight, "I got this. If you go over there they'll all probably break out into song." Before he could protest, she was on her feet and over to Mercedes, "C'mon, Tyler Perry's Diary of An Angry Black Woman." Sue grabbed her by both shoulders and began to lead her away from a shocked Lisa and confused Sam. "We'll be right back...Lisa, you can go on home now. Your services are no longer needed." The woman frowned at that. "Brittany will be in charge while I'm out."

"Yes!" The blonde hopped up and skipped to the middle of the circle, "I have been waiting for the opportunity to be in charge of a bunch of pregnant people since I was five. Now first things first...how many of you were impregnated by an angry God?"

* * *

><p>Mercedes sighed as Sue led her out into the empty hall. Yes she overreacted and she was pretty sure her friends will be throwing this in her face later on but just seeing that lady all over Sam made her blood boil. She tried to remain calm, she really did. She counted to ten so many times in her head and even prayed that Jacob would cry so she could focus her attention on something else but once again the doll was perfectly quiet. Why did it only act up when she didn't want it to?<p>

"That was quite a show, Oprah."

"I'm sorry, Ms. Sylvester...it won't happen again." Mercedes muttered as she avoided eye contact with her. She really was not in the mood to have to explain herself to Sue Sylvester of all people; especially since Sue knew nothing of her and Sam's romantic history. She wasn't even sure that Sue knew she use to be involved with Sam...

"I would hope not." Sue replied with a mischievous look in her eyes and a smirk, "I didn't pay that airhead that money just for you and Kentucky Fried Stripper to continue that suffocating sexual tension." That caused Mercedes' brown eyes to snap up and look at her in confusion. "You thought I didn't know? Missy, I have cameras all over this school and I know of all the hook ups and relationships in the glee club! You kids switch partners more than Schue changes vests. I'm surprised you all haven't given each other herpes."

"Wait...so you know about what went down between me and Sam?" Sue nodded. "Ok...but why do you even care? Why have that lady get me jealous? You knew I would react that way...why would you care enough to set that up?" Mercedes didn't know if she should feel angry about this. In all honesty, she didn't know what she was feeling. Once again being in love with Sam had her all confused and mixed up and she wished it would just stop. But she couldn't stop feeling for him.

Sue let out an exasperated sigh and leaned against the wall, "Because of all the things I've seen within that atrocious glee club and all the drama and bed hopping..." She stopped and looked Mercedes in the eyes with complete seriousness, "Yours was the most adult and responsible." Mercedes gasped at the sincere tone in her voice. Was Sue actually complimenting her and Sam? "And I believe it shouldn't have ended that way. Sure you cheated...like all the others. But it _is_ high school. You took it hard on yourself and you shouldn't have, Mercedes. That boy with the abnormally big lips really cares for you and unlike everyone else who is your friend he was always _there_."

Mercedes frowned, knowing she was talking about Kurt and Quinn and how their friendships had fizzled out for awhile once there was someone new in the picture or once they didn't really need her anymore.

"You are really talented. More than Rachel or any other singer in there. And these past years I've seen you doubt yourself and seeing you do it again with him was the final straw. Stop sabotaging yourself and get in there and be happy. Take risks. You're young and this is your last year. Do you really want to spend it ignoring the only man you love?" Sue watched as tears began to fill Mercedes' eyes. "I thought so."

"T-thank you, Ms. Sylvester." Mercedes said in a small whisper as she once again avoided eye contact with her. She hated when people saw her cry but that truth bomb that was just dropped on her was way more worst than what Stacey told her the other night. When did this all become so complicated?

Sue smirked and wrapped an arm around her, "Yeah whatever. But if anyone asks tell them I came out here and gave you a good tongue lashing that made you cry. I got a rep to protect you know!"

Mercedes chuckled and ignored the tears that fell out her eyes, "Well you kind of did...when did you get so nice though?"

"Stupid hormones." Sue snorted. They both looked up when they heard a door open and close and Sue smiled knowingly while Mercedes tensed. "Well if it isn't, Mr. I'm Going To Fight To Get You Back."

Sam shot her a confused look as she just shrugged and released Mercedes to make her way back to the room, but not before shooting Mercedes a look that he couldn't understand. He chose to ignore it since it was Sue after all but when he turned his attention back to Mercedes to see that she was crying he quickly made his way to her, "Are you ok? What happened? Why are you crying? Did she make you cry?" He asked as he placed both hands on her shoulders and examined her face for any bodily harm. He knew Sue wouldn't really hit Mercedes but he also knew that Sue once did throw sticks at her so who knew what that lady was capable of.

She gave him a watery smile before shaking her head, allowing more tears to fall. "I'm fine, Sam...I bet everyone thinks I'm a psycho diva again, huh?" she joked humorlessly but he was still staring intently at her face. She hated when he did that. He had the most intense eyes ever and they always made her uncomfortable. Not even in her diva state could she handle that look.

"Not really." He said after awhile, "Artie and Santana are laughing and watching the video over and over again on her phone. Puck and Tina are watching Jacob for me right now, Mike and Brittany are trying to teach the pregnant ladies and their men some dance moves while Kurt and Blaine are getting a lesson in sharing from Rory and Sugar. I think the only one not happy about your outburst is Finn and that's for obvious reasons. Dude has his mommy panties in a twist."

Mercedes snorted, "Maybe him and Rachel were meant for each other..." She trailed off when Sam's hand that was rested on her shoulder came up to cup her cheek and he used his thumb to wipe away some of her tears. And that intense look was back once again. She was pretty sure she stopped breathing.

"Are you ready to talk?" He asked softly. And she caught his gaze drop to her quivering lips for a minute. "I think it's time we talked."

She rolled her eyes and turned her head away from him, "About me being a possessive ex? I shouldn't have overreacted..."

"You didn't overreact." He chuckled and turned her face back towards him, "That feeling you had in there was what I felt since I came back and would see you with Shane. Sure I didn't call him a 'home wrecking ho' but I was thinking it." He gave her a smirk that caused her to laugh. "But seriously...we need to talk. We're going to be spending a weekend together with my family and we need to get this out there because we never really _talked_ about it."

"What's there to talk about?"

"Me and you." He said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. "We love each other and though our infidelity made you feel like crap...it doesn't change the fact that you still want me." She once again looked away from him so he made her face him again. "You. Still. Want. Me."

"Everyone knows that, Captain Obvious." She replied sharply but bit her lip when Sue's words came back into her mind. She was still young and this was her Senior year. She lost Sam once because of fate but now fate also brought him back to her. Granted, fate did that when she had a boyfriend but he came back regardless. "We should talk about this." She agreed finally.

Sam grinned widely, "Cool. I'll get Jacob and we'll go somewhere and talk about this." He placed a quick kiss to her nose before turning to make his way back into the room to get their doll and things.

There was a buzzing in Mercedes pocket that caused her to break her gaze away from his back to check her cell phone. She frowned deeply when she saw it was text from Joe:

_**Help! Help! Help! I'm at Rachel's house and I'm pretty sure Quinn and her are going to kill each other! I need help! Please, Mercedes! I beg you to come! Peace & God -Joseph**_

"Crap."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Up next...the God Squad help Quinn and Rachel come to a decision and Mercedes and Sam get ready to spend the weekend together in Kentucky!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary: Sue Sylvester forces the Glee club to get up on their parenting skills now that she's pregnant giving each of the kids a life like baby to take care of for a week. Samcedes. Sam/Mike/Puck friendship. Various Glee friendships.**

* * *

><p>When Mercedes and Sam finally made it to the Berry residence they were surprised to see everything still intact. The outside wasn't burned down, the windows weren't broken, they didn't even hear screaming coming from inside the house. And when Mercedes slowly opened the front door there was no broken furniture or blood splattered across the walls. In fact the place was spotless and the smells of cookies and other foods filled the air causing Mercedes to frown deeply because she knew for a fact only Quinn would bake when she was truly upset about something. She did that all the time when she lived with them and had problems with Puck or her parents or just school in particular. But why was the house sparkling clean with the smell of Pinesol?<p>

Her question was quickly answered when she spotted Rachel on all fours on the floor scrubbing at the wood panel with an apron and her hair up in a messy bun. She muttered something angrily to herself trying to clean a spot that wasn't even there.

"Uh...?"

Sam looked around in shock too. He spotted Joe sitting on the couch with a plate of cookies on his lap and Richie cradled in his arm as he watched Tom and Jerry in confusion. "Are those cookies?" The blonde exclaimed happily before making his way over to the other teen to join him on the couch.

"Mercedes?" The diva looked away from Sam and Joe to see Quinn make her way into the front room, not even giving Rachel a look as she walked past her. "What are you guys doing here? Shouldn't you too be at the Mommy and Me classes?"

"We...uh...got a text." Mercedes replied as her eyes went over to Joe who turned to look at them with a look of fear. "Is everything ok...? You're baking..."

The blonde frowned then looked over at Rachel who finally got off the ground and plastered a forced smiled on her face, "Hello, Mercedes, when did you get here?" she greeted then shot Quinn a cold look. "I was just tidying up...this place is dirty...I must clean...clean, clean, clean!"

"This place is clean, Rachel." Sam said as he looked at the brunette with a mouthful of cookies. "You two are starting to freak me out...like Stepford Wives or something...Holy crap!" His green eyes looked past Quinn into the kitchen to find several plates of cookies, cupcakes, and pie on the counters. "Did you bake all that?"

Joe nodded, "They finally stopped fighting and Quinn said she needed to bake and she started baking and wouldn't stop...then Rachel came down with all this cleaning supply! She even cleaned and washed my nails!" He exclaimed as he held up his hands and put up his feet to show Sam his manicure and pedicure. "I'm afraid, Sam...I've been praying for this to stop for the last two hours!"

Mercedes sighed then took off her hat and jacket to hang them up before making her way over to the two girls, "Ok we need to talk because you guys are totally freaking out Joe and you have been acting loony since this whole project started." She wrapped an arm around each girl before leading them away towards the kitchen so the guys wouldn't interrupt her talk with them. Once they were out of earshot she waited for both girls to turn and look at her with looks of sadness, "Ok, start talking..."

"She doesn't even understand how important this is to me-"

"I have had the life of my first born planned out since I was ten-"

"-I let her get away with so much!"

"-She thinks she can control everything because she knows more-"

"-I don't even know what a sea salt facial is-"

"-I think she may kill me in my sleep, Mercedes!"

The diva watched the two girls talk furiously at the same time, only managing to catch little glimpses of what each was talking about. She held up her hands, "Ok stop! One at a time! And since we all know Rachel loves the sound of her voice I want to hear Quinn first!" She shot the other diva a look before the blonde sighed.

"I never got to be a real mother to Beth. She was taken away from me and even when Shelby came back...I was stupid...an idiot. I was around my daughter at my worst and tried to sabotage the only good thing in her life."

Mercedes and Rachel frowned at Quinn's confession. Maybe this didn't really have anything to do with Quinn wanting to baptize Richie, it was more that Quinn saw this little project as a week to be a mother and to show everyone that she wasn't the selfish, manipulative head cheerleader that everyone seen her as her first days as a senior. "Quinn..." Mercedes reached forward and pulled her friend into a tight hug while Rachel stood there and watched them with a dumbfounded expression.

"I just wanted to have this week and imagine how it would be like if I would've kept Beth...people would look at me and think 'Wow, she's a great mom! Look at how happy that baby looks!'...I would've baptized her, sang to her every night, spoiled her rotten." Quinn wiped her eyes as she chuckled, "I'm a good mother, Mercedes, I swear I am."

"You don't need to tell us that, Quinn. We already know." Rachel spoke up finally causing the blonde to pull away from Mercedes and look at her, "I was adopted and I know what it feels like to grow up and think you weren't good enough for your mother but...Shelby giving me up was the best thing she could have done. I love my fathers, I love my home...and I love her because this is all because of her. And when Beth gets older she will see that too." She gave her a sincere smile before pulling her into a hug.

Mercedes watched in shock, surprised that Rachel could actually say something that wasn't completely stupid and about her. "I have an idea." She smiled as the two girls pulled away from each other and wiped their eyes, "We can do both. I mean you only get Richie for a week so why not mix the religion? One day Rachel can plan the Bar Mitzvah then the next Quinn can plan the baptismal. That way you both get both and get to see a little insight on what the other believes in." Mercedes suggested as the two girls smiled widely at the suggestion.

"That actually sounds really good...we can invite the Glee club! Noah can help me out!"

"And the God Squad would love to help me...right?"

"Of course." Mercedes nodded, winking at her friend. "Just save all these pastries for the party because I'm afraid Sam might call up the guys and tell them...last thing we need is them finding out that you baked all this."

Quinn nodded and watched as Rachel went to grab the plated to wrap them up and store them away. Her eyes looked past Mercedes for a minute to the two guys sitting on the couch. Sam was trying to explain to Joe why Tom wanted to kill Jerry as the other guy frowned and asked why they couldn't just be friends and live in peace. She chuckled then looked over to Mercedes whose eyes seemed to remain on Sam. "Have you guys talked?" The blonde asked suddenly causing the shorter girl to break out of her trance and shake her head, "You need to talk."

"We were going to but then I got that text from Joe..."

Quinn sighed heavily before wrapping an arm around Mercedes to pull her close, "You need to stop putting others first, Cedes. Me and Rachel would have gotten over our little fit like we always do but I think it's time you fixed your problems. Everyone in glee club sees how madly in love you guys are and it is sickeningly sweet." She rolled her eyes jokingly before smiling, "Do us all a favor and get back together so we can all be a family again. Soon we will all be leaving each other and I don't want it to happen until I see you two dating...for real. No more secrets!"

"Fine, fine, fine. We're going to talk, ok?"

"Good. You two can use Rachel's room. There will be not interruptions." Quinn looked over at the brunette to confirm only to find her staring at both of them with a look of uncertainty on her face, "Something wrong with Sam and Mercedes using your room to talk?"

Rachel bit her bottom lip then shifted her weight to one foot before replying, "Well...what if they have makeup sex in my room?"

"_Rachel_!"

"What! I don't want my bed tainted...ok, ok! Go ahead and use my room just please if you feel the urge to take off your clothes and touch each other then use my floor..."

Mercedes decided not to humor her with a response so she turned to make her way back to the front room to find that Joe and Sam had finished off the plate of cookies. She smiled as she listened to Sam once again try to explain the cartoon to Joe.

"Dude! They are a cat and a mouse! They are not going to become friends and go to church with each other! They are going to _kill_ each other!" The blonde exclaimed as Joe's light eyes filled with sadness, "Do you see that look in Tom's eyes? He's hungry, man! He's hungry for little mousy meat and that just happens to be Jerry so he's going to try and kill him and-"

"That's enough, Sam!" Mercedes exclaimed as she quickly put a hand over Sam's mouth. She could see Joe paling at the images and knew it wouldn't be long before the teen was blowing chunks all over Rachel's spotless living room floor. "Quinn and Rachel said we could use Rachel's room to...talk." She watched as Sam's green eyes brightened up at that as he nodded before standing up too, the both of them stopped when they heard Joe.

"Is that code for intercourse? Because Puck told me there were different words for intercourse and that sounded like a code for intercourse."

Mercedes blushed as Sam shot his friend a look, "No that is not code for intercourse! We're just going to go talk about us..."

Rachel popped her head into the room and shot the couple a look, "I keep hearing the word 'intercourse'...you two better not have sex in my room!" She yelled before she was pulled back into the kitchen by Quinn who then popped her head into the room.

"Go on. I'll watch Jacob." She said with a small smile.

Sam nodded before glancing at Joe who looked back to watch the tv, "And teach Joe about cartoons please. It's getting frustrating!" He felt Mercedes' hand wrap around his and pull him towards the stairs.

* * *

><p>"Guys! Sam just tweeted that Quinn baked cookies at Rachel's house!" Mike exclaimed as the rest of the glee club began packing their things up to get ready to leave their first Mommy and Me class. "I am so there! I have been craving something sweet lately..."<p>

"Good because the only sweet thing you are going to get are those cookies! For a real long time!" Tina replied darkly as she watched her boyfriend squirm under her dark gaze. She knew Mike was truly sorry for his outburst in glee but she was still a little sore about him singing that song to Brittany of all people. She was blonde, beautiful, and a cheerleader and though she wasn't that smart she felt Mike and Brittany shared a connection she would never have with him because they both loved dance so much. Maybe it was Tina's own insecurities or the fact that when Brittany was with Artie and she believed they were sneaking around together that she just didn't forgive him. Even if Brittany was in love and 'bilingual' with Santana.

"Oh give it up, Female Chang!" Santana exclaimed as she threw an arm around her girlfriend, "So your man serenaded my girlfriend...it was just a song! Plus Puckerman started it as he always does." She shot her dark eyes over at Puck who frowned but remained silent which was a first for him. "Would you two just make up already because we have enough angst in the club especially from Sam and Mercedes...speaking of...why did they leave so early?"

"Yeah...they completely ditched these classes." Artie agreed. "What makes them get off so easily? The rest of us had to sit here and listen to Sue talk about how awesome her baby is as we all had to help her think of names! Which by the way, my suggestion was really good...I don't know why she got so mad. Demon Seed Sylvester...perfectly perfect!"

Santana snorted before giving him a high five, "You got that right, BD!"

"I say we make our way over to Rachel's." Finn spoke up after he finally said bye to all the pregnant women and held Little Debbie. "She has cookies...that always wins in my book. Plus Quinn bakes really good when she's upset."

"We won't be able to make it. I promised Sugar a date night..." Everyone glanced over at Blaine who shrugged, "She claims that as the father of her child I have to spoil her at least once before this assignment is over with and since I have been keeping Queen from her..." He gave his boyfriend an apologetic look, "I promise I'll make it up to you, Kurt. I got us tickets to see this show and we'll have dinner and everything it's just..." Sugar shot him a look. "She's really annoying and if I don't do this she won't shut up."

Rory nodded then gave him a pat on the back, "Try dating her, man." he muttered, trying to make sure that Sugar didn't hear.

"Dodged a bullet with that one." Artie said not so quietly receiving a hit to arm from Sugar. "Ouch...ok...off to Rachel's then?"

"Yeah." They all agreed and began to move, all except Puck who remained in his own little spot by the wall causing Tina to notice. She waited till the others were out the door before she approached him with a look of concern. It was weird, but he had the same look on his face that Mike did after he got into a fight with his father about his dancing. She remembered how pained he was after he had to disown his father and how it affected his personality.

"Puck...?" She touched him softly on the shoulder, causing him to look up quickly and break out of his thoughts, "What's wrong?"

He looked down in consideration before sighing, "My mom just called...my father is back in town."

* * *

><p>Sam entered Rachel's room first, shuddering at all the stuffed animals and the decor of the room. It was creepy to him. Not only was everything in perfect order but she had pics of her and Finn everywhere! In fact, she had pics of Finn practicing football...even in the locker room...when the hell did Rachel go into their locker room? He mentally made a note to himself to change cautiously next time just in case she set up cameras. "You know, if we were to get into the heat of the moment and hook up...it would not be in here! I cannot get it on with a huge poster of Barbra Streisand looking at my big boy parts."<p>

Mercedes quirked a brow at him before shutting the door behind her, "Big boy parts, Sam?" She chuckled as he nodded. "We are not here to hook up we are here to talk." She reminded him sternly. She saw a look of disappointment flash in his eyes for a second before he became serious.

He walked over to Rachel's neatly made bed and patted the spot next to him so she would come over and sit. "Ok...where to start...I love you. I want to be with you. Like really bad." He grabbed her hand as she stared at him in shock. He didn't know why she was so shocked though, he's told her this a million times. "And I know the whole Shane thing messed you up and you don't like the way you were but what you're forgetting is you acted that way because you feel the same for me. It wasn't some random guy you kissed, it was me. It wasn't some stranger you sang to, it was me. Samuel Evans. The same guy that you snuck around with last school year. The same guy you dated during the summer. The same guy you cried your eyes out for when I had to move..."

He watched her take in a shaky breath, "You're right. But even if you were the same guy...I wasn't the same girl. A lot changed after you left, Sam. Including me being single. I was with Shane and though I know I jumped into it to get over you...I was still with him. Just because you came back you expected me to run back to you but I'm not like that. I'm not like the other girls in glee who can just drop one guy for another..."

"I never said you were!"

"And I had to give what me and Shane had a chance." She finished, ignoring Sam's outburst as he glared at her at the mention of her ex. "If it were you in my position, be _honest_, would you have dropped your girlfriend the moment I showed up at your doorstep?"

"Yes. In a heartbeat." He replied quickly as she shot him an unconvinced look. He rolled his eyes at her, "I already left my home in Kentucky and my family for _you_! What's a girlfriend who didn't even matter in the first place? I'm gonna be completely honest here and tell you that yes I did see other girls while I was in Kentucky. They were all nice and pretty and a _distraction, _like Shane was for you." He watched her eyes narrow at the mention of other girls but he continued, "But they weren't you. And when Finn and Rachel came to get me all I could think was 'Wow...I can be with Mercedes and see my friends'. Screw the competition! I wanted to see you!"

"But I was with Shane."

"But you were with Shane." Sam repeated with bitterness. "And if I didn't love you then I would've packed up and moved back to Kentucky...hell, I would've even gotten back with Quinn since she propositioned me!" He chuckled and Mercedes smiled. She remembered when Quinn told her about the conversation they had when he came back. She was shocked that Quinn tried to date him again, only because she needed a father for Beth, but forgave her soul sister because she knew her mind was not in the right place at the time, "But I didn't. I stayed and I fought. Like I told you I would. And I'm a man of my word." He flashed her a huge smile. "So...are you done punishing yourself?"

Mercedes frowned and took in his words and of course he was right. It was funny, when Sam first joined the glee club and announced he had dyslexia and made some really weird comments...everyone dubbed him the dumb blonde jock, just like they had Brittany. When in reality, Sam was the smartest guy she ever met. Sure it wasn't book smart and he reacted on his emotions a lot, but he was right.

"Yeah."

"Huh?" His eyes snapped up to hers as he looked at her in shock with the most goofiest grin on his face, "Did you just say yeah? Are you saying what I think you're saying?"

She laughed at his expression and nodded, "I love you, Samuel Evans, and even though this relationship started on a secret and ended on heartbreak...we got a second chance." She winked at him.

"The second chance also started on a secret and ended in heartbreak too though..." He reminded her.

"You're ruining the moment, Sam. Just say 'I love you, Mercedes' and kiss me."

He grinned again, "I love you, Mercedes." When he slowly began moving his face towards her she stopped and turned away at the last second, "What's wrong?" He asked when he noticed her eyes on Rachel's bedroom door.

"I heard something..." She got up from the bed to open the door, revealing a sobbing Rachel. Her eyes were red and puffy as tears rolled down her face along with snot from her nose. "Oh my god, Rachel! Are you ok? What's wrong?" Mercedes quickly led the crying girl into her room, looking at her with concern.

"I-I'm so s-s-s-sorry!" The brunette cried as she attempted to wipe snot off her nose, "I j-j-just wanted to m-make sure y-y-you guys...d-d-didn't do it on m-m-my bed..." She was shaking with tears as she tried to get her words out, "I heard e-everything a-a-and...it was so...BEAUTIFUL!" She cried out before pulling both Mercedes and Sam into a tight hug, "I'm so h-h-happy f-f-for you guys!"

Mercedes and Sam exchanged glances before shouting, "QUINN!"

The blonde quickly made her way up the stairs and entered the room to catch Rachel in the moment with the couple. She gave them an apologetic look, "Sorry...I know I should have been watching her. Spongebob Squarepants came on and I was teaching Joe that Spongebob is not the devil but he's really convinced he is!" She quickly grabbed Rachel, "C'mon, cry baby." She said as she led the crying girl out the room. "Let's get you cleaned up!"

The couple turned towards each other and attempted to go in for a kiss again till they heard the front door open downstairs and hear Mike yell, "COOKIES! I smell cookies! Where are the cookies! Are you hiding the cookies!"

"I shouldn't have tweeted that tweet." Sam muttered to himself before he ran a hand through his hair and looked up at his now again girlfriend, "Should we tell them now that we're back together?"

She nodded, "But we'll wait till they're all full of cookies so they will be too tired because I'm pretty sure they will react just like Rachel...or worst..."

Sam figured they wouldn't cry but he knew there would be a bunch of remarks about them finally dating again, "Yeah. Ok...we'll let them be all buddy/buddy but this weekend when we go stay with my parents...you're all _mine_." He winked at her causing her to laugh and grab his hand.

"What ever you say, boyfriend."

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><p><strong>AN: Yay! Update! I just wanted to quickly get them back together. Trying not to drag that out. And the week is almost up but before it's time to give the dolls back (aww) there will be more moments before they have to give them up! Plus Puck's daddy is back...dun, dun, dun!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Baby Pratice**

**A/N: Look who finally updated (dont kill me!). Sorry I kinda had writers block plus I need to update my other stories!**

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><p>"Mercedes Jones and Sam Evans! Can you two stop bumping uglies for one minute we're having a glee club meeting in the kitchen!" Santana yelled up the stairs as she balanced Jackson on her hip; holding a bottle in the other hand. Her dark eyes looked over to Finn who in return was giving her an annoyed look. "If you say anything about me yelling in front of your precious Little Debbie so help me, Saggy Man Boobs, I will have my kid beat your kid up when they go to preschool together." That shut the other teen up as he quickly held his doll to him and walked away.<p>

Sam was the first to come downstairs not looking too happy about all the interruptions they've been having. Yes, he was very happy him and Mercedes were back together but would it kill the others to let them have a little privacy? He shot Santana a look in which she shrugged her shoulders and smirked, not caring at all that he was being cock blocked. "Why do we even need to have a 'glee meeting'?" He muttered angrily as he stomped past the Cheerio and into the kitchen.

"Geez, Grouchy Guppy, who spit in your wheaties?" Santana asked, humor in her voice because she knew why the blonde was angry. She looked up to see Mercedes make her way down the stairs too and she was doing a much better job than Sam at hiding her annoyance. "Look you two have plenty of time to have all that angst somewhere else. Puck wants to tell us something and Tina's bitching at us all to be around when he says it...she even called up the Keebler Elf and Sugar." Mercedes frowned and watched as both Blaine and Sugar made their way into the Berry house. Blaine looked angry as he held his doll and rushed past everyone, obviously trying to get away from his partner who was yelling something about being sorry for accidentally dropping Queen.

"Please no more partner drama we just fixed Rachel's and Quinn's." Mercedes muttered to herself as she said a silent prayer before going to enter the kitchen with the rest of her friends. She spotted Sam next to Joe as he took Jacob from the other teen - she gave him a quick smile before looking over to Tina who seemed to be whispering encouragement to Puck. Since when did they become so close? Mercedes decided she was too busy with her and Sam's relationship to see that everyone else seemed to be bonding too. Santana sat on Artie's lap, Mike had an arm around Brittany, Kurt was trying to accessorize Rory, Quinn and Rachel smiled at each other, Blaine and Sugar...well Blaine refused to be near Sugar but hey not everyone could make progress so quick.

"My father is in town." Puck blurted out causing everyone to stop what they were doing and stare at him in shock. "He asked to borrow money. But I said screw him and used the money for something else."

"Drugs?" Finn asked, receiving a hit from both Rachel and Quinn. "Ouch! What? It was just a question!" He avoided the looks of his ex and girlfriend and cuddled Little Debbie thinking she'd be the only girl that would never hit him because the glee club girls were brutal.

Puck glared at his best friend, "No...but I thought about it." He chuckled before smiling over at Tina who returned the look. "I umm...as you know most of us are seniors and our time together will be ending soon. Sure this project got us to spend more time together but it's not enough. You all became my family...my very incestual family." He looked over at the lovers and ex lovers as everyone chuckled. "But you guys are my heart. So I got these." He tossed tickets onto the table which Rachel quickly grabbed before anyone else could.

"Oh my Streisand! These are tickets to _Florida_!" She screeched as she looked up at Puck with excitement. "You got us all tickets to Florida!? Why!"

"Lemme see those." Kurt said as he snatched them from her grip before sniffing them and holding them up to the light to examine them, "They're real!" he whispered incredulously, his green eyes looking at Puck.

Tina rolled her eyes, "Of course they're real! Puck decided we could all spend a week in Florida for Spring Break! Isn't that nice of him?" She asked as everyone passed the tickets around to make sure they weren't being scammed. When everyone's shock settled down, Tina sighed, "You can thank him now!" Puck didn't even have time to react before he was engulfed in bodies and arms and screams of excitement.

"I'm so excited I have to start shopping now!"

"Wait...I need to find a babysitter for Little Debbie that week..."

"We won't have the babies anymore around that time, you idiot!"

"Don't remind me..."

"Whose touching my butt?"

"Do we get to pick our roommates because I am not sharing a room with the guys...!"

"Mercedes and I are dating again!"

Everyone stopped talking and were once again in stunned silence as they all stared at Sam who was hugging Mike who in return was hugging Puck. "What?" He asked as Mercedes hid her face in her hands, "Everyone else was shouting random stuff I thought that'd be a good time to tell everyone!"

"You couldn't wait until we were all sitting and _calm_?" His girlfriend asked as she smiled at him. "Sam Evans, you have no clue how to be subtle."

He shrugged before walking over to her and placing a not so subtle kiss on her lips in front of everyone causing the girls to melt at the scene while the guys struggled with either being uncomfortable or turned on.

"There are _babies_ in this room!" Finn exclaimed with disgust before storming out and muttering something about being the only good parent in the group. Sam pulled away from Mercedes a little to glare at his housemate before grinning at the rest of the glee club. Well now they knew and there was no need for that 'secret relationship' crap they had before. It was now out in the open and he felt light and happy for the first time in months.

Artie tilted his head as he examined the couple before his blue eyes looked at Jacob who was nestled in Sam's arms, "Dude...your doll finally opened its eyes?" He asked as he wheeled himself over to them. He took in the greenish brown glassy eyes, looking like a rare emerald. "It's eyes look like Mako!"

"Thank you!" Sam exclaimed before giving Mercedes an 'I told you so' look. "Someone who understands me!"

"Also," Mercedes said as she wiped at the edges of her mouth since he nearly smudged all her lip gloss, "We're going to be spending the weekend together with Sam's family and Jacob." She grabbed Sam's hand and squeezed it. Everyone gave her a look like she just said she's going to run off and get married with him. "It's just a weekend guys..."

Santana snorted, "Yeah and be sure to pack lots of condoms or little Jacob will become a real boy if you get my drift."

"The blue fairy is paying Sam and Mercedes a visit?" Brittany asked with excitement as she looked at her girlfriend, "Do you think she'll turn Joy real too?"

"You better wait till we're in our thirties for that to happen, babe."

"And on that note we're getting out of here before this turns into a sex talk again." Sam replied as he grabbed Jacob's bag and Mercedes. They last thing he needed was their friends prying into their sex life again. Last time it had him looking like the bad guy when it was actually Mercedes who had seduced them the first time they ever got intimate. "See ya'll at school tomorrow."

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><p>"You know...we did this wrong." Mercedes looked up from staring down at Jacob's eyes to Sam who was laying across from her, his eyes examining her as she gave him a confused look. "We had a baby first then started dating." He explained then chuckled as she rolled her eyes. "When we get married I promise we do it the right way so that Jacob won't be born a bastard."<p>

Mercedes gasped then placed hands over Jacob's plastic ears, "Language, Mr. Evans." She replied with a smirk. It was nearly midnight and she was sure her parents were going to kill her for having Sam over so late. But she missed nights like this when they would just lay in bed and watch TV and talk. Sure it made them seem like an old married couple but something about being alone with Sam made her feel at ease; like everything was right in the world. And now that they were together once again she guessed everything _was_ right in the world. Yes some of their friends were still going through things and this was her last year at McKinley but none of that mattered now. Because now she had Sam and their 'son'.

"Ok no more spending time with Finn for you." Sam joked as he leaned over Jacob to place a soft kiss on her lips. He'd never get tired of doing that especially now that he could do it whenever and anytime he wanted. "Hey...have you thought of a song for us to sing yet?" He watched his girlfriend shake her head and frowned. "So much has been going on that I nearly forgot about that..."

"Everything seems to be calming down...which means a storms about to hit."

Sam's green eyes snapped to look over at her with a worried expression, "Don't say that! Knock on wood right now, Miss Jones!" He watched as she rolled her eyes but did as he said. "I got you back and my family are doing well not to mention my grades have improved...just sucks I won't be graduating this year." He let out a frustrated sigh remembering when he was told he was being held back. He couldn't catch a break! Mercedes placed a comforting hand on his shoulder causing him to look back at her with sadness.

"There's still months before graduation so don't think about me leaving yet ok? Remember what you said before you left last summer? If it's meant to be it'll be."

"Screw that even if its not meant to be I'm gonna make it work." Sam replied seriously which caused her to laugh, "You don't believe me?"

She shook her head and tried to sober her laughter, "Yes I believe you. Your crazy, Sam Evans. Knowing you you'll probably visit me every weekend at college if you could."

Sam smirked, "Don't give me any ideas." He leaned forward once again but before he could kiss her Jacob began his crying. Before he could look and see what was wrong he already smelled the problem. "Diaper change." He muttered and watched that familiar fear fill his girlfriend's brown eyes. "Mercedes, you can do this...it's not even real poop it's artificial."

She sat up and glared at him, "That doesn't make it any better! It still looks and smells like it oh my god what did they feed him?" Mercedes asked as she placed a hand over her nose when Sam pulled off the doll's onesie. How a fake baby could use the bathroom like that would remain a mystery to her. Maybe Sue was using these things to punish the glee club. "Can't you do this one? It's _dripping_...ohmygodImgonnabesick."

Sam tried not to laugh as he grabbed the diapers and wipes trying to give her the serious look, "There's no way I'm gonna be doing all the baby stuff while you get to be the cool mom who plays with him and buys him stuff. We're a couple now this is more than a partnership. C'mon before it gets on your bed." She grumbled but sat up on the bed to change Jacob. This was something about motherhood she would never get use to.

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><p>It was a Friday and for some reason Finn sent out a mass message to the glee club telling them he hired a photographer for "family pictures". Even though they all believed their leader had finally lost his mind they were all pretty excited since they only had four days left with the dolls. It wasn't till they all had to meet up at the auditorium did it hit them that soon this project was coming to an end because Finn had taken the time to actually write a banner and hang it up with the words "Cherish These Last Moments" written in a bold red.<p>

Artie stopped midway down the aisle and stared up at the sign with a frown while Brittany almost busted out in tears. "That's really messed up, Finn." He said as he looked over at his partner and her girlfriend who sent the tall teen a dark look. "Are you trying to break all our spirits?"

Finn didn't seem bothered by their displeasure because he knew exactly how they felt. Little Debbie may not have been real and the first couple of days with her was Hell but he bonded with that little plastic thing and to know that after the weekend he would no longer have her was killing him. "Guys, I know I've been pretty hard to deal with lately..."

"You don't say?" Mercedes replied sarcastically as she placed a hand on her hip and quirked a brow.

"_Lately_?" Quinn asked incredulously.

He held his hands up, "I deserve that...but don't think I haven't been paying attention these past couple of days. This week has been good for us. We all hung out with people we barely use to and got to know each other more...and as much as it sucks...some of us are going to be leaving soon."

A pained look flashed on Sam's face as he unconsciously reached out to grab Mercedes' hand and squeeze it. His girlfriend in return looked up at him to give him a small smile but his eyes stayed looking forward; almost like he was afraid to look at her. She sighed and placed her head on his shoulder, hoping he wasn't thinking this was the end for them once again since they just got back together.

"We need to cherish these moments. And I don't mean only because we have these dolls for a little while I mean because we only have each other for a little while." Finn continued as he looked at the saddened looks on his friends' faces. "Yes we all hurt each other once and awhile but we put that in the past...we've changed now. For the better. So I got us a photographer today because I want to remember you all like _this_." His gaze swept over all of them and smiled, "Happy and in love."

Everyone was silent for awhile until Tina burst into sobs and ran to hug Mike, "I'm sorry...I'm so sorry...I don't wanna fight anymore! I love you!" She cried into his t-shirt as he gave her a shocked look before awkwardly consoling her. He thought he'd be use to her emotional outbursts by now but this was the first time she actually clung to him for dear life; like reality was sitting in and he'd be gone soon. "I love you, Michael Robert Chang!"

Everyone else embraced each other too and soon the auditorium was being filled with cries of the girls from the glee club while the guys tried to remain cool. It wasn't till Finn felt a hug from behind him did he realize that maybe for the first time in months he actually did and said something good because he turned to see Quinn smiling up at him; something rare she ever did.

"When did you become so smart?" She asked with a hint of curiosity. The Finn she dated; the one that dumped her and broke her heart over and over again would have never said anything like that. "You did good, Finn. And despite it all...I'm going to miss you." Quinn wiped a tear away as she watched Santana and Rachel awkwardly embrace before kissing him on the cheek.

Mercedes pulled away from Sugar's embrace to find that Sam was off sitting in one of the chairs with Jacob, an unreadable expression on his face as he held the doll. Maybe Finn's speech hit way too close to home for Sam but before she could make her way over to console her boyfriend a bright flash blinded her for a minute and caused everyone to stop and look over at none other than Sebastian Smythe and the Warblers.

"What is _he_ doing here?" Kurt asked angrily as him and Blaine glared at their old choir mates. The Warblers in return stared at the many carriers in the glee club's hands, probably wondering who in the world dubbed them mature enough to even be in the same room as babies.

"I heard someone wanted a photographer. Oh and the Warblers are here to see the New Directions' new additions. They didn't believe me when I said you McKinley chumps lost it over dolls." Sebastian replied with his usual smirk, "By the way, Mr. Rachel Berry, that was a beautiful speech...truly touched me." Finn glared at the Warbler captain. "We should all cherish these moments together. So I convinced your idiot teacher to allow the guys and I to spend the day with you and your precious..._dolls_."

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><p><strong><em>AN: So Ive decided...only 2 chapters left : /_**


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